


The Only Exception

by alexilexi247



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood Drinking, Bloodplay, First Time, Happy Ending, M/M, Memory Alteration, Rape, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-02-24
Updated: 2012-10-13
Packaged: 2017-10-31 16:30:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 52,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/346154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexilexi247/pseuds/alexilexi247
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drunken Damon decides to teach Elena a lesson, making Jeremy his target. But when guilt starts to become to much, can he ever be forgiven and how can they ever cope with the memories. Set after S2 Ep15.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Release

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, thanks for taking some time to read this. When I've finished it's gonna be pretty long (I've already clocked up 50000 words) So I hope you all enjoy!

### Damon's POV

 

I was sat alone at the grill, on a Friday night, with nothing to do. I, Damon Salvatore had nothing to do, no schemes to foil, no innocent people to murder. I was utterly bored. Stefan and Elena were at her house doing things I'd rather not think about and Katherine was busy haunting my own home and I just wasn't drunk enough to attempt to face that bitch.

So here I was, downing as much of the strongest alcohol as I could in an attempt to suppress any feelings of hunger or destructiveness that easily gripped me in this state. It had been well over a month since I had so much as laid hands on a human and it was killing me. I wasn't doing it for the good of my humanity or for Stefan, I don't give a crap about either of them. I have been doing it for Elena but she doesn't care. She's way too caught up with my stupid little brother to even bother with me. I had done so much for her, risked my life on a regular basis and what do I get for it? Nothing, that's what.

I quickly swallowed another drink, happily ending that chain of thoughts before the barman came up to me. "Another round." I ordered him, a few more drinks and I may be drunk enough to attempt to face Katherine.

"I'm cutting you off. We're going to shut soon anyway." He said in a gruff voice as he took away my growing collection of empty glasses with a strange look, a normal human would have probably passed out from the amount I had drunk.

"I said, get me another round." I attempted to compel him but my gaze faltered and my words were slurred. Great, I couldn't even have a drink in peace. I glanced around the bar, there was only me left, great.

"I think you're drunk, do you want me to call anyone?" He asked me but who was there to call, Stefan? Ha, he'd lecture me on the dangers of drinking and liver failure! If that would ever be possible! Elena? Nope. Stefan would definitely tag along and that would be double trouble. I just gave him a quick 'I'm going 'cause I want to' look as I pushed away from the bar and walked out, I had a stop to make on my way home anyway.

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I stood outside the door of Elena's house. The whole time I had been walking, I had been thinking of her, the memories churning in my head, how ungrateful she had been, how many times she had used me and manipulated my feelings to get what she wanted and my anger was growing by the second. The monster inside me was getting stronger and I needed a release. I needed something to sate the hunger that was becoming increasingly powerful. I listened closely to the life in the house. All I could hear was the splashing of water as I realised Jeremy was in the shower. Elena wasn't there.

The anger in me peaked. I needed her but she always messed everything up! My body begged for a release from the raging emotions. My face changed as my fangs came out. I couldn't think through the mixture of alcohol and blood lust that fogged my mind. All I wanted was a release.

Suddenly I was hyper-aware of the shower switching off as Jeremy stepped out. The perfect revenge, taking her brother, that would get the bitch's attention. Before I knew it I was climbing through the window to the kid's bedroom and I waited in the shadows for him to enter the room, almost trembling in anticipation. The door inched open, flooding the room with light before it was quickly shut out again. I jumped then, pinning a wet and shocked Jeremy to the wall. I brought my lips to his neck, smelling the sweet blood that raced under the skin, sending me into a lust filled frenzy, as one hand pinned his arms above his head and the other pulled his head back, baring his pale flesh.

The kid began to struggle as he got over the shock of my presence. He flailed hopelessly against my steel grip but his unpinned legs kicked out and I was forced backwards. "What are you doing Damon?" His voice shook in recognition as I circled him. His heart pounded in his chest and the only thing covering his body was a small towel that was loosely wrapped around his waist. I watched admiringly as his tensed body followed me, all of his muscles flexing as he prepared to fight me.

I ignored his questions and pinned him back to the wall. Jeremy endlessly begged me to stop as I trailed kisses down his neck and nipped and sucked at the tender flesh. Just to taunt myself. Just to see how long I could resist.

"Damon, you- you don't want to do this. You're not yourself right now. You know you don't wanna Damon, please, please. . . don't-" He never stopped begging and pleading for me to stop but it just drove me on. I wanted to hear him plead and scream and beg. It brought back those feelings of power, control. I was better than him, he was just a new toy.

"I am more myself now than I have been in a long time" I whispered into his ear as I nipped at the lobe. My kisses became more urgent as my pants began to feel uncomfortably tighter and I tried to coax a response out of the kid. He gasped in an attempt to get some air and I took the opportunity to push my tongue into his mouth, trailing it over his teeth and tongue. My hands trailed down his chest, following the contours of his fine muscles as I suppressed a moan at the contact. His skin was smooth and he was incredibly beautiful.

"Good enough to eat" I mused, smiling onto his lips. "You're just begging for it, you just wanna be fucked, don't you?" I thought I heard him whimper but quickly dismissed it, I had probably imagined it. I lightly bit his lip, allowing his blood to flow into my mouth and I couldn't stop the moan from crossing my lips as the sweet coppery taste filled my mouth. I kissed him viciously whilst grinding my hips against his, revelling in the feel of the friction on my now hard cock. I was pleasantly surprised when I was met by Jeremy's equally hard member, that just made it even more fun.

He whimpered again when I repeated the action, each small sound going straight to my groin. I pulled back and began to undress. Jeremy's hands joined mine, timidly tugging my shirt up and over my head. I looked up to see his face for the first time, his brown eyes were wide with fear and lust. His hair stuck to his face as the water ran down his cheeks and dripped from his nose. His lips were red and swollen from where I had kissed him and a small bead of blood trickled down his chin. I leaned forwards and licked the blood from his chin before pulling him back into a punishing kiss which he coyly reciprocated. My lips trailed down his jaw, back towards his neck and he froze again in fear of what I wanted to do.

I quickly unzipped my pants, releasing my agonizingly hard member. I pulled away the towel to reveal Jeremy's seeping cock. I momentarily stroked his length, getting him to buck into me as he moan deep in his throat. I pulled him up, forcing him to wrap his legs around my waist, giving me access to his tight hole. I rocked forwards, pressing up against him and he began to struggle again as he realised what I was about to do. I nipped him again, breaking the skin this time, trying to teach him not to fight. He yelped as he felt my teeth on his neck, arching away from me but it only gave me better access.

"You know you want this Gilbert, your body betrays you. You. Need. Me." I punctuated each word with a short thrust of my hips, getting a series of muffled moans from the boy. The feeling of power from the compete control I had at that moment was intoxicating, urging me on.

I lightly sucked at the skin, licking up any blood that had been left from the small bite. I was ready to bite him again but he yanked at my hair with all of his strength and his knee came up hit strongly between my legs. I yelped at the unexpected pain and he wriggled away from my grasp. All he managed to do was anger me more as I watched his pitiful attempts to escape in mild amusement.

I allowed him to reach the door and I caught the short look of relief on his face as he turned the handle. He thought he had gotten away, I couldn't help but chuckle at the kid's hope. I rushed forwards, slamming the partially opened door and pinning him to the door with his back to me.

"Did you think it would be that easy?" I asked in an amused tone, running my hands down his sides as he shook under my touch. I grabbed him by his hair threw him to the floor with ease. He landed with a harsh thud and I was sure I heard something crack but I didn't care. He just lay there, sobbing into the floor until I pulled him up and threw him back against the wall.

"Elena! Jenna! Please!" He began to shout for them endlessly.

"They're not here, Jeremy. You can scream all you like, there's only me to hear it." I whispered darkly in his ear but he never stopped screaming and begging and calling for help.

"Please stop." He whispered as he panted breathlessly. "You're drunk, Damon-Think! You can't- Elena will never forgive you-" I bit down on his neck, then, as I penetrated him deeply with one thrust, tearing him open. He cried out loudly, screams and cries filling the room, making me smile. He dug his nails into my chest, drawing blood. I pushed in and out of him fast and ruthlessly as I took mouthfuls of his delicious blood and his struggles became weaker and weaker. I knew I needed to stop then but the pleasure became too much and I was too far gone, engulfed in the dark power. My thrusts became faster and more demanding as I came deep inside the boy. The blinding feeling consumed me as I rode the orgasm, holding myself against Jeremy's hot skin.

After a few moments I detached my mouth from his neck and pulled out of him. I was still shaky but I managed to hold up Jeremy who had passed out at some point, probably from the blood loss. I dropped him on the bed and assessed the damage. He didn't look too bad; his naked body was covered in blood and cuts where I had held him too hard and it was slowly seeping onto the sheets. I was sure a rib or two had broken and blood trickled from a cut on his head but he had gotten of relatively easy compared to others.

I needed to compel him, to make him forget what had happened. Only because I felt kinda bad for the kid, I still wanted Elena to suffer but the marks I had left on his skin would take care of that. If she couldn't put two and two together then she was even more hopeless than I thought, not that I cared.

I felt better, full and relaxed, all I needed was a nice long sleep. I attempted to wake him up but he didn't stir. I listened to him closely and noticed that his shallow breathing had stopped, along with his heart.

I panicked. "JEREMY, WAKE UP!" I shouted at him hopelessly as I shoved at his chest but he still didn't move. "Please," I whispered into his ear, "I didn't mean it." I had killed him. His sweet face was perfect and kind as he lay still, almost like he was sleeping. I couldn't stop my hand from brushing the hair from his eyes and stroking my fingers down his pale cheek. I felt a feeling wash over me, one I had almost forgotten. Guilt. I tried to push it away but it didn't work. All I could do was watch the boy that I had killed and wish I could take it back. I just sat there, the world stopped and time seemed endless as I waited for something to happen: for me to wake up from this horrible nightmare or for him to sit up and do that sweet innocent smile of his and laugh at me for being so stupid but none of it happened.

I heard the front door opening, dragging me away from my guilt stricken state. I heard Elena saying goodnight to my brother, them sharing a short kiss before she made her way up the stairs. "I'm sorry." I whispered to the dead boy before disappearing out the window.


	2. Pain

### Jeremy's POV

 

I closed my sketchpad for the last time that night, Stefan had taken Elena out on a surprise date and Jenna was getting ready for a sleep over at Ric's . . . again. I had the whole weekend of relaxation to look forward to and I was definitely make the most of it for once. There was no impending doom, no big bad monster to deal with and everyone was relaxed.

I switched off my desk lamp, my room instantly falling into darkness, and grabbed a towel that was hanging off my door. I would never get a shower in the morning anyway, Elena somehow manages to hog the bathroom for hours when she gets up.

"Night Jeremy!" I heard Jenna shout up to my room, "and if you're up when Elena comes can you tell her to lock up, she forgot last week."

"Right, goodnight!" I responded before I heard the door slam and I was left alone in the house. 'It's not like locked doors can keep out anything in Mystic Falls anyway' I thought sourly as I turned on the water, stripping as I waited for it to get hot. The spray felt like heaven on my back as it relaxed all of my muscles and washed over my body.

I took my time to wash myself as I was left to my own thoughts, thinking was easier in the shower and I certainly had a lot to think about with everything that has happened lately but mainly I would think about Damon. Every time he talks it sends shivers down my spine and every time he smiles all I can think about is how those lips would feel on mine, I didn't know what it was about him or when this started but I couldn't help it. I cut off my thoughts before I became immersed in them, I would happily think about him for hours, and switched off the water. I just pulled the towel around me and headed back to my room.

I shut the door behind me and was about to turn on my light when something pushed against me with such force and speed I was knocked back against the wall before I even had time to react. My whole body felt like it was spinning from the sudden motion and my back hurt from where I had been hurled against the wall. The confusing fog began to lift when my arms were jerked and held above my head. I could feel cool lips touching my neck as a hand tugged at my hair to pull my head back.

I felt it then, sharp teeth pressed lightly against my neck. Even though it was only for a second, it finally made me aware of the danger. I put all my strength behind trying to escape from the vampire but it's powerful grip held strong against my arms, preventing me from moving far. I concentrated on putting all of my strength into my legs, forcing it backwards and off of me.

I was shocked to see Damon as my attacker. His beautiful, icy blue eyes were gone and had been replaced by deep black orbs that stared at me menacingly, they were emotionless apart from a look of anger and raw need that dominated his features. The sight was intensified by the dark veins that surrounded his eyes and the fangs that showed as he smirked darkly at me. He circled me, like he was a predator hunting his prey and I realised that was just what was happening. I was his prey.

He looked dangerous and I shuddered in a mixture of fear and arousal. The way he looked at me made my heart beat faster and made my breathing become faster and shallower, my whole body was conflicted, one part said to run as fast as I could, he was dangerous. The other watched with awe at the beautiful creature that closed in slightly with every circling step, his beautifully petite yet muscular body hidden under his dark clothes.

"What are you doing Damon?" I managed to say but my voice shook with anxiety, the scared part of me was beginning to win. I could push past him and get to my door. I could probably lock him in my room and get help. He had ignored my question and was staring at me intently whilst he still circled me but that just gave me time to execute my plan. I tensed, just a few more steps and he would be in line with the door but before I could take a step I found myself pressed up against the wall again. His lips resumed tracing the length of my neck, occasionally nipping at the sensitive flesh and sending shock waves through my body.

"Please, Damon, stop." I begged him over and over but he didn't listen. I tried again, I was getting desperate as I was getting closer and closer to giving in to him. "Damon, you- you don't want to do this. You're not yourself right now. You know you don't wanna Damon, please, please. . . don't do this." I couldn't stop the words rushing from my mouth, even when I knew he was thriving off my pleas. I felt harsh, cold lips being pressed brutally against my own. I tried to pull away from the intrusion, his forcefulness shocked me as he grabbed a fistful of my still-soaked hair, pinning me to him.

“I am more myself now than I have been in a long time” He whispered in my ear before biting that too, his smooth and deadly voice sending unwelcome chills down my spine and making me unbearably hard, the danger was only adding to the hotness of the moment. He kissed me more urgently, his stubble grazing against my face as his lips moved against mine. Part of me wanted to kiss him back but I stayed frozen. I could obviously smell the alcohol on him now and he was acting eccentrically, not a good mixture.

He never broke away for air during the kiss and I was getting slightly light headed. My head was spinning and that was not helping me to maintain my unresponsive stance. I gasped in an attempt to get some air but I felt his tongue invade my mouth and explore it. His hands joined the exploration and they lightly trailed down my torso. His cool fingers felt good on my skin as they cooled the fire that burned with need throughout my body and it took everything in me to not press myself against him and beg for more.

“Good enough to eat” He sighed against my lips and I could feel him smirk against my skin. “You're just begging for it, you just wanna be fucked, don't you?” Those words sent heat coursing through me and it settled in the pit of my stomach as he said them in his deep, sexy voice that was even deeper as he was turned on. I involuntarily whimpered and I hoped it was quiet enough for him not to notice.

My self control was quickly slipping away and I was silently begging for him to kiss me again. When he did he tugged on my bottom lip with his teeth and I could feel the small sting as he cut the skin. I tasted the strange coppery taste of my own blood as Damon sucked on my lip. He moaned loudly, the sound driving me crazy as he started to push himself against me, rubbing against my unbearably hard member. I suppressed a moan but it managed to escape my lips as another whimper, louder this time and it was obvious he noticed.

He continued to tease me with short, hard thrusts before he took a step back. I wanted to grab him, to feel the weight of him against me again but I was stopped as he slowly began to pull his shirt over his head. I suddenly needed to see his naked body. I wanted to run my hands down that perfectly sculpted chest and to trace the lines of his muscles down his arms and back. My shaking hands joined his in pulling the restricting clothing over his head.

When he was finally free I drank in the beautiful view with my eyes as they trailed up his body until our eyes met. His face was still changed, the dark veins around his eyes and the tip of the fangs that poked from his open mouth. He looked more beautiful than ever as he stared relentlessly at me. He moved forward slowly and licked the blood off my chin before kissing me again. I moved my lips in time with his, enjoying the feeling of him being so close to me. His lips left mine and began to kiss down my jaw. He stopped at my neck, where the blood raced at his closeness.

I was sure he was going to bite me as he continued to suck at the spot and I was surprised to notice I didn't care, I wanted him to. Instead he started to undo his jeans and I felt him pull away my towel, the only thing that covered me. The material rubbed against me, spreading pleasure throughout my body. The unwelcome cool air was quickly pushed away and replaced by Damon as he pushed against me. His hand quickly stroked up my sensitive member. I unconsciously bucked into his hand to feel the wonderful promise of release but he pulled away almost as soon as it was there. I moaned embarrassingly loudly with the raw need of him to touch me.

His strong grip pulled me against him, one of his hands easily supported me as the other wrapped my legs around him. I was pressed against the wall as he rocked against me. I then panicked as I felt something large push against my backside, pressing against the hole. I realised what he was about to do and I tried to get away but I was trapped between the wall and the monster. His lips fell against my neck again and I tried to pull away from him but this time he broke my skin when he nipped me. I stayed still then, I had no idea what he was going to do to me but struggling was making it worse.

“You know you want this Gilbert, your body betrays you. You. Need. Me.” He emphasised every word by thrusting and grinding against me, making me buck and moan uncontrollably. I had to stop, my mind was clouded and I was breathing heavily to try and regain control, the mixture of pain and pleasure making it hard to think.

He continued to move against me and lick at the wound on my neck. I had to move fast before something bad happened. I brought my hand up to his hair,holding it there and making it look like I was holding him to me. I unwrapped a legs from his hips, easily balancing between him and the wall. I gathered the last of my dwindling strength and pulled his head back from me by his hair as I simultaneously kneed him in the groin. To my relief he lost his hold on me and I managed to escape from his grasp. I shot across the room, not caring if Damon was following me, I was so close. The relief tore through me when I felt the cool metal of the handle on my palm. I tugged the door open and my whole body soared at the light that shone through. Before I could get through the door I felt a body press up to mine, shutting the door, shutting away any hope.

“Did you think it would be that easy?” His voice came behind me, full of enjoyment from my pain. I couldn't help the tears that ran down my face or how my body shook and trembled. He was sick and he was going to kill me. I wanted it over, for this monster to get it over with. I didn't want to feel any more pain. I felt his fingers entwine with my hair and braced myself for whatever he was going to do next. I had probably only made it worse by trying to escape.

I cried out in pain as he pulled my hair viscously, jerking me backwards with a terrifying force as I felt the scream of agony wash through me from the pain in my head. I tried to catch myself as fell to the ground but I landed straight on my chest as I felt it protest from the pain. I couldn't move, I just held myself up off the ground, the sobs still breaking through my chest. I lay there for what felt like forever, waiting for him to start again.

Everything was fuzzy, I couldn't see anything properly and I suddenly found myself back against the wall with Damon staring at me intently with his dark, intense eyes. I wanted him gone, I wanted Aunt Jenna and Elena to be here. I cried out for them and that hurt to. I was engulfed in a world of pain and I couldn't get out.

“They're not here, Jeremy. You can scream all you like, there's only me to hear it.” I heard him whisper so close to my ear.

“Please stop.” I whispered in between weak pants but he ignored me as he continued with his onslaught. There was nothing I could do, nothing I could think to say to get him to stop. My mind pushed through the pain, trying to work, trying to get me out before I gave up.

Then I thought of my sister. I could shock him back to reality if I got him to realise that he was going to hurt her too. “You're drunk, Damon-Think! You can't- Elena will never forgive you-” That was the wrong thing to say. I was consumed by a blinding pain as he simultaneously bit down on my neck, hard, and thrust into me. The pain was excruciating and it burned through me as he shoved in and out of me at inhuman speed. My vision became blurry and I embraced it as everything became numb, offering a release form this torture. Soon everything began to fade into a black haze as I was consumed by the familiar feeling of death.

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I was woken by the sound of talking downstairs. The light that shone through the window was so bright I was blinded and was reduced to groping for something that could tell the time. It seemed like I had slept in late. I sat up and numbly noticed I had no clothes on. I immediately knew something was wrong, I never really slept naked, mainly because I was scared of having to run down the street naked one night because of a vampire invasion ( 'cause lets face it, anything is possible in this town). I then realised I couldn't remember going to bed at all. I tried to think hard, relaying all of the events last night, I looked down at myself and nearly had a heart attack. My whole body was covered with dry blood, none of it had any evident source but I could feel it, on my chest, neck . . . thighs. It covered the bedsheets and made me feel sick.

It all flooded back to me in seconds, my mind going through the terrible event. The tears welled in my eyes as I fell back onto my bed. How had that happened? I could feel my whole body convulsing with the fear. I rolled onto my hands and knees as my chest heaved between the sobs, bringing up nothing but more blood. I felt like I was falling apart. I collapsed into the puddle, unable to hold myself up. I was cold. I used my arms to hug my knees to my chest but it didn't help the feeling.

I stayed there for what felt like forever, trying to expel the dark memories. My hand clutched at my pillow but it was full of blood. I threw it away from me and jumped off the bed. I had to get rid of it, it was a sickening reminder and above everything it made me feel ashamed. I had wanted him. I tore the sheets off my bed and buried them in the bottom of my bin, covering it with old pens and waste paper.

I took a deep breath and dared to look at myself, I was even worse, the dried blood flaking away at my chest. I felt filthy and wrong, like I could still feel him touching me. I quickly jumped into the shower, not caring that it was still cold, I needed to get rid of it, and quickly washed away any evidence that it had happened. I brought up my hand and it was still there, the thing that had saved my life. The ring glimmered as I moved my hand, almost glowing with pride for what it had done. I didn't know if I felt the same way, I was supposed to die and now I had to live with the memories.

Then I remembered what had woken me, the talking downstairs, I had been too shocked about what had happened to process it. What if he was still here? What if he was going to hurt Elena or Jenna? What if he already had?

I threw on some pants and bolted down the stairs, the nauseated feeling washing over me. I darted into the kitchen to find Elena and Jenna stood there, both of them holding a cup of coffee and they were talking happily enough. They stopped as soon as I got there.

“Well good afternoon lazy! Have a good sleep?” I heard Jenna ask me but I didn't take it in, my mind was still swimming in the shock.

“Are you okay, Jer, you look really pale.” I turned my head slightly to see Elena, she looked good too. I felt the tears run down my face, at least they were fine. I allowed the pain to wash over me, I heard both Elena and Jenna shout in unison as I felt myself falling it the blackness once again.


	3. Broken

### Damon's POV

 

The darkness of the room contented me, there was no beginning or end, nothing to see or hear and nothing to think about. That's what I concentrated on, nothing. I thought about absolutely nothing for as long as I could. 

If anything ever crossed my mind it was Jeremy, his sweet face when I saw one of his rare smiles, the exact sound of his young voice or the way his hair fell over his face whenever he looked down to hide his shy smiles. It tortured me, knowing I would never see those things again. 

I didn't know how long I had been hidden in my dark room, the wall at my back comforting me and the total darkness obscuring my sight but I hardly noticed the time going by, I was too engulfed in the pain of my memories.

I heard Stefan walk through the front door of the house, breaking the perfect silence, no one really spent time at the house apart from Katherine, who had gone to look for an old friend, said they owed her some kind of debt. She apparently couldn't put up with my depressing state but that was probably best for everyone. I could hear no footsteps next to his but he was talking intensely to someone. I listened harder, not because I cared, nothing really mattered any more. It was because it was distraction from the horrible pain in my chest, even if it was for a short time.

“Elena, he's really starting to worry me, I don't- Yes I know this is Damon but he hasn't moved or talked or fed in five days and if he carries on like this he might kill himself. You need to talk to him, get him to- I know you're busy with Jeremy but- Fine, love you. Bye.” I heard the snap of his phone and his muted footsteps moving closer to my room. He hesitated at my door and I hoped he wouldn't come in, no one should see me like this, broken, hurt, all because I cared about him.

I never cared. No exceptions but he slowly broke down the wall I put between myself and any feelings with his innocent looks. He made me care and now I was paying the price. I could feel the dry sobs rip through my chest and I didn't attempt to stop them. I deserved this pain for what I did. I had killed Jeremy Gilbert and he was never coming back.

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The front door opened again hours later. It felt like days but I knew it hadn't been. Stefan had left the TV on and it was halfway through the third programme. It gave me a sense of time but the distraction didn't dull the pain that roared in my chest. It was on some sort of cooking channel which was probably for the best, nothing on it could remind me of what had happened. 

I heard the new person and Stefan talk hurriedly and I would recognise that voice anywhere. It was Elena. I felt sick instantly, she knew it was me, she was going to kill me. Was it too much to ask her to make it quick?

“Where is he?” she asked, the annoyance evident in her voice. She didn't sound upset which was strange but maybe she was just good at masking her feelings. I was good at doing that, too, once. It didn't help.

“He's upstairs, in his room. But be careful. He might be dangerous.” I am, he was only right to warn her. I'm a monster. That's the only way to describe me, something that needs to be extinct, destroyed. The sounds of their talking got louder as they approached my room. 

“Let's just get this over with so I can get back, whatever happened to Jer really upset Aunt Jenna. I need to get back to them.” The sadness in her voice when she mentioned her adopted brother tore another hole through my chest as she stormed through my door and turned on the light. The brightness blinded my eyes but when I closed them all I could see was his pale limp body.

I was forced to look at Elena, her face once seemed beautiful but she only reminded me of him, every minute resemblance torture me. I didn't move the whole time I was looking at her, I showed no emotion. It would probably be harder for her to kill me if she thought I cared. Only then did I notice that she was talking to me, it took a lot of effort but I concentrated on her voice.

“-Need to get back home so stop with this attention seeking and get a grip.” She said to me, her voice was tight, too under control. The words sank in slowly. She thought I was attention seeking? I would be better off if they just left me alone. Wait-They didn't know it was me. I didn't know whether I should have been happy or sad about that. I was going to get away with it but did I really want to?

Stefan remained silent behind her, stood defensively, ready to pull her away from me if I decided to move. I wouldn't, wasn't sure if I still could, the lack of blood was taking a toll on me physically but it didn't handicap my thinking or dull the pain like I had hoped.

“He's ignoring me!” She seemed shocked and Elena was starting to sound terribly shallow the more I heard her voice. 

“Here, try and give him this”

“Why can't you?”

“Because he listens to you, Elena. I tried to give him it earlier but he just ignored it.”

“Fine!” She huffed and I could sense the distinct smell of blood as the bottle was opened. There was a sharp pain in my jaw that vibrated through my body and to the pit of my stomach. I knew I was starving and needed to feed but the thought repulsed me. I could still summon the ghost taste of Jeremy's blood to my tongue. I would give anything to taste it again, it was so sweet and heavenly, like nothing I had ever tasted before. 

I just stared at the bottle, it smelled funny, it was probably animal blood. Great. “Just drink it, Damon. Hurry up. It's disgusting!” She prodded me. I took a quick sip from the bottle in her hand to satisfy her before raising a shaking hand to hold it myself, the need was too great. Each move was painful from my lack of blood. I probably looked terrible. It was all gone in a few quick gulps. I allowed the empty container to slip out of my fingers. I felt strange, my body began to feel heavy as I was consumed by the rest I had been deprived of.

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Images flashed through my head, dark and vivid, forcing my eyes to fly open. I knew that I had woken only seconds later as I heard my door shut behind Elena and my brother. I felt slightly more awake and aware but the pain was also more acute. I didn't bother to move, instead I continued to listen to the conversation about me.

“-You're right, Stefan. I have to admit that this isn't run of the mill normal, attention seeking Damon.” She admitted. “He looks pretty bad. Could he be ill?”

“I'm not sure. I've never heard of a vampire becoming ill, he may have consumed something poisonous. I can't think of anything other than that but he doesn't seem ill. He seems to be . . . in shock” He muttered in confusion “Like when a person is attacked, only it's worse. He doesn't want to accept what's going on around him, I look at him and he stares right through me.” 

“What could have done that to him? I've never even seen something faze him, let alone do this to him. If that's the problem he's probably scared out of his wits.” They were slowly piecing it all together. They were going to link me to Jeremy and they would finally stop this. But what if they couldn't kill me, would they care that much? Maybe they'd shove me in the basement with Elijah.

The next thing I heard was the buzzing of a phone and a hurried “I gotta go” before the door slammed. Stefan sighed and poured himself a drink before the house returned to silence, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

It was too much, the blood ignited the embers of pain making it worse than I even could have imagined. Images of Jeremy endlessly tortured me and when there were no more my grief supplied me with flashes of anyone I had ever hurt. I needed something to distract me, even just for a short while. I pulled myself up off the floor, aided by my rekindled strength from the blood. I searched for something, anything to take away the memories but there was nothing. Nothing to distract me or impair my thoughts.

I was desperate, I felt like I was going to explode and I needed something to take it away. I didn't even care what it was. Then it came to me, a stupid notion, something I shouldn't even think about. My fingers unconsciously traced the ring on my finger, the only thing protecting me from the viscous force of the sun that lay just behind the black curtains. 

I slipped it off my finger, the second time I had willingly done so. The first had been when I had learned Katherine was dead. Stefan had stopped me from going outside then but he wasn't here now. I threw the ring onto the bed and walked purposefully towards the window. 

I pulled them open fully, avoiding the light at first. It served as a barrier, separating my room with a long golden streak of light. My hand shook as I brought it up into the light. It took all of my strength to hold it there as I felt the searing pain erupt on the surface. I bit my lip hard to try and keep quiet, tasting the blood fill my mouth. I felt it as the skin tore and blistered but I pushed my arm in farther, embracing the pain as it blocked out anything other than what was happening right at that moment. 

The tears ran down my face as I held in any cries or screams that threatened to cross my lips. I had been reduced to relying completely on the wall for support as the sun quickly drained any strength I had. I never heard the door open, my mind was swimming from the burns and cuts that throbbed and stung. It was still less torture than my thoughts.

“Damon are you-Damon!” My head hit the wall as I was pushed back into the corner. “What do you think you were doing?” I willed my eyes to open and I saw Stefan staring down at me with that disappointed look that he always seemed to wear when he looked at me. I blinked a few times to allow my eyes to adjust to the new darkness when Stefan closed the curtains again.

I pulled myself up, I didn't have to deal with his delusional ideas on why I was like this, or worse, talk about my crappy 'feelings'. I shoved past him, making for the door but he sped ahead, blocking my exit. 

“I will say it once, Damon. What is wrong?” 

“No, I will say it once. Fuck Off!” I scream hysterically at him. I shoved him as hard as I could, only wanting to get him away. He flew through the door as it cracked and splintered under the pressure. He landed on the floor, surrounded by wood and plaster from the wall. I just took an aggravated sigh as he looked at me dumbstruck and stalked out of the other door, slamming it behind me.

I had been stupid enough to trap myself in the bathroom. The only way out was back into my room, which was somewhere I didn't want to be right now. I locked the door, it wouldn't stop Stefan if he really wanted to come in but I didn't think he would be that stupid. 

I inspected my arm. It hadn't healed yet, the burns travelled all the way up to my elbow and it throbbed and stung uncomfortably. It no longer clouded my mind, instead the skin settled on a bright red colour, like a bad case of sunburn, until the wound fully healed. 

“Why did you do it, Damon?” I whirled around to see him there. The blood pouring from his neck, painting his bare chest but all I could smell was a putrid stench that clogged my hazy senses

“You-you're not real, you're not real, Jer!” I shouted at him, scrambling back into the wall. I threw whatever I could get my hands on; soap, shampoo, toothpaste but all of it passed through him ineffectively. “YOU'RE DEAD!” I screamed at him, screwing my eyes shut. When I opened them again he was gone, leaving me alone in the room.

I turned on the shower to block out the deafening silence, it's hot spray battered against the glass. The sound soothed me and soon I found myself in it’s embrace. The water was too hot, it would have scalded a human but instead the heat clung to my still clothed body, warming me with a harsh embrace. It played torture on my arm, stinging it but it soon healed and I was finally left alone. I sat there in the shower, not moving until the water ran cold.

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I had managed to sleep, even though it was in small amounts. It helped me a bit as it cleared my head and relaxed me somewhat. I had even gone far enough to turn on the light and keep track of day and night. It had been two days since Elena's visit and she was scheduled to come back again soon to see Stefan, they rarely seemed to leave their homes. 

Stefan rarely left me alone after my outburst and constantly worried but I was fine, for me. The Jeremy hallucination seemed to be a one time thing, although I tried to avoid the shower as much as possible. At night I would be left alone, he seemed to believe I was trying to kill myself. It seemed like a good idea at one point but now, as the pain slowly began to subside, I knew I was crazy with grief.

Elena cared for Jenna and Stefan seemed to have taken upon himself the need to care for me. I would have protested if I had minded but I honestly was grateful for the supply of blood he gave me. I couldn't think of another way of getting it and his presence around the house helped me in unimaginable ways. He never pried and for that I was grateful, although I was careful to never show it. 

Some days seemed to last forever and some came and went without me noticing but I knew it had been a whole week since the 'accident'. I hated to call it that but I had no other word to refer to it as. I felt better and I had even gone and sat on the bed. I occupied my time by watching cartoons or some other type of happy show but I usually got 'I think he actually lost it this time' looks from Stefan every time I put them on. I would think that too if I was him so I didn't blame him. I only did it because they were innocent, harmless. There was no chance I would be reminded of anything. 

Most of the time, though, I read books. It was calming in a way, I never had time to read books and never had the patience for them previously but now I would read a handful a day. Stefan had grow accustomed to giving me a pile of his every morning and I would work my way through them. They were usually sappy stories about people going to war or broken hearts and I usually found myself crying at them, which was strange to say the least.

All of the stuff I did was mainly just to avoid the guilt. I was really starting to cope, If I never thought of him all it would do was simmer in the back of my mind, almost ignorable but I was sure that it would never go away. My attention was pulled away from the latest rerun of Tom and Jerry when I heard a visitor come through the door. I thought it might have been Elena but her walk was slightly faster, her footsteps were heavier on the carpet. All small details I had never noticed.

My suspicions of who it was were confirmed when their voice rang through the house.


	4. Numb

### Stefan's POV

 

6 days, 14 hours and 53 minutes. That’s how long it had been since I had come home to find Damon, helplessly sobbing in his room. That's how long it had been since he had moved or spoken, no matter how much I tried. It killed me to see him like this. It was his job to be the strong brother, the one that would take me back, no matter how much I hurt him, no matter how much he hated being my last hope but he never turned me away. After all this time he had never broken down, not when he died, not when I forced him to turn and not when he was rejected by his love of 145 years. I didn't know what to do.

I refused to believe it would get any worse, this was Damon for God's sake! I spent as much time as I could with him, I don't think he even knew he was there half of the time. He just stared at the wall, unmoving. I tried to talk with him, I tried to feed him but he didn't react at all. 

I didn't want to worry Elena, she had a lot on her hands. She told me that Jeremy was up to something, that he was probably back on the drugs and I knew it was hard for her. I sighed and left the room. I had to go and hunt, I had been so busy with Damon I was ignoring my own needs.

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When I got back I knew he hadn't moved, all I could hear was the same shallow breaths. I couldn't take it any more. I grabbed my phone and called Elena. When she got here I knew she was upset. She was still angry with Damon and she believed I was too soft on him. Usually it was true but this time it was different.

I wasn't sure if it would work and I didn't want to risk her being near him in this state but I was desperate. When we got to his room he didn't react. Elena stood in front of him, demanding his attention. That's one thing I love about her, how she could be so headstrong but so caring.

To my amazement he turned to look at her, his movements weak and forced. I decided to push it a little further and handed Elena a small bottle of blood I had. She fussed a little but managed to persuade him to swallow the whole thing. 

I didn't know what had happened to him and Elena couldn't think of anything either, I was lost and back at square one. I went back to his room to see how he was doing and was happy to see that he was up.

“Damon are you-” I began to ask him and then I realised what was happening, his ring was on the bed and Damon was stood there, his body shaking as he held his hand into the beams of sunlight, watching it burn. 

“Damon!” The first thing I felt was desperation, I couldn't live without him. He couldn't leave me that easy. I slammed him against the wall, into the darkest corner of the room. “What do you think you were doing?” I half screamed at him but I got no response, he just stared at me with glazed, uncaring eyes. I had never wanted to hit him so much in my life, he had be rude and annoying but now was worse, he didn't even care.

I asked him once more what was was wrong but he flipped. I was thrown through the door, the wood shattering around me and he disappeared into the bathroom. I waited for him to come back out but he never did. He began to shout, none of it making sense. 

He shouted “You-you're not real, you're not real, Jer!” and it was followed by crashes. I wanted to run in there, protect him but I didn't know how. He was talking nonsense, seeing things. How could I protect him from that? It all made sense after the next to words, everything slotted into place, painting a picture of his despair.

“YOU'RE DEAD!” The words echoed through the house and sent shivers through my bones. 

Jeremy. 

I didn't know what to do. How could I tell Elena? It would kill her, she would kill him. Everything in me told me to walk away, forget I had ever heard those words. I did. I turned away from the door and swiftly walked out of the house. 

Only one question continued to press at my mind. What had Damon done for this to happen?

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### Jeremy's POV

 

Elena was sat next to me when I woke up. Her brown hair fell over her face as she looked down at me in worry, her eyebrows clenching with concern. I was in my bed, still in the same jeans I had collapsed in. She jumped to life when she realised I was awake. Her arms flustered uselessly at her side as she fussed over me.

“Jeremy! Are you OK? What happened? Do you know your name? What day is it? Did you take anything? Did anything hurt you? Do you need to go to the hospital?” She relayed the questions so fast that I had no time to answer her, instead I waited for her to calm down and allow me to talk.

“I'm fine Elena, I think I'm just a little sick, can I have some space?” She seemed taken aback by my blunt request but unwillingly left the room. I let out a breath I hadn't know I had been holding when the door finally shut behind her. I couldn't tell her what had happened, it would kill her. There was only one way I knew of for dealing with this. Something I had always done, something I had promised not to do ever again. My legs shook underneath me as I opened the drawer.

I pulled out all of the items to uncover a loose panel. My hand opened the hidden compartment I had built years ago with practised ease. My fingers slipped in and pulled out the package before I quickly replaced the panel. Before I could replace all of the stuff into the drawer my eyes were drawn to the item on top of the pile. 

My shaking hands opened the sketch pad to the back pages and there sat the monster that had killed me. Pages of different drawings of him, each one adding to the frightening pain that fought to take over me. I turned to the last one, the only one us both. My breathing became erratic and my hands shook. I threw the pad across the room, avoiding the memories the drawings brought. I jumped up and got dressed quickly, my mind set on one goal. I pulled out a bag and threw in the package before adding some beer from in my wardrobe.

I slipped out of my bedroom door, I could sneak out unnoticed if Elena was in the living room or her room. I took care on the steps, missing the third one down, that one always squeaked, and gently shut the door behind me.

I wasn't sure where to go, I just knew I had to get away, anywhere. I walked aimlessly until I got to a familiar place. My feet had unconsciously brought me to the only place that had a chance of changing my mind, my parent's graves. I stared at the dead stone for too long, feeling nothing, blocking out any feeling. I had to do this. I walked passed the graves, not looking back or stopping, only acknowledging them by sweeping my hand over the cold, hard stone. I walked through the grave yard until I reached the edge, lined by the trees that tenderly watch over the dead.

I fell into an exhausted heap on the ground as soon as I reached the shade and propped myself up against an ancient tree. I reached into the bag and opened a can of beer before pulling out the packet. Was I really going to do this again? I pulled out one of the joints, there were endless amounts of any kind of drug I could think about and everything I had promised I had destroyed but I had to keep it. I had never known I would need it like this again. I lit it and brought it to my lips, taking a deep draw as I relaxed to the familiar feel of it in my hands. 

I quickly worked my way through it until my mind was a blank haze and I just absently sipped the warm beer. I didn't care that it was late, I didn't really care about anything, I just stared at the trees above me, letting everything go. After a while I felt tired and weak, all I could do was pull my coat closer to me and allow the darkness to pull me down.

I woke up with a familiar throbbing headache from the hangover. All I could think through the numbing pain was home, luckily. I had survived my all night binge relatively safely and the sun was only beginning to rise above the horizon. I sluggishly pushed off of the tree and picked up my now relatively empty bag. There was no-one about this early and when I finally managed to wander home there were no lights on. I tried the door and it opened, Elena had forgotten to lock it again. Everyone was asleep, I stumbled into the kitchen, grabbed some water and aspirin before going up to my room. 

I quickly got changed and jumped into my bed when I heard someone moving around in the room next to me. A few minutes later my door opened, I froze momentarily my mind dragging up stupid fears before I heard a deep sigh of relief. I sat up and saw Elena peering into my room.

“Sorry Jer, I didn't mean to wake you.”

“Its okay. I was awake anyway.” I muttered. 

“Where did you go last night? We were worried.”

“I wasn't feeling right, had to get some fresh air,” I lied “I caught up with some friends and we went out for a while. I came in a bit late, sorry, I didn't mean to worry you.” She just sighed. She just thought it was typical Jeremy behaviour.

“Just a bit of warning next time, kay? You're gonna give me and Jenna a heart attack one day!”

“Right.” She disappeared out of the door and I lay back down onto my bed to escape into sleep for as long as I could.

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This went on for days, I would disappear all night and make up a lame excuse to get Elena off my back. I knew she didn't really believe me but she didn't push either. Maybe she thought I would get over it in my own time. It was unsettling really, she just ignored me more and more when I needed her. It was strange, I had always pushed her away and never let her in. That might have been why she didn't try now.

I stepped out of the door for the umpteenth time, backpack slung over my shoulders. I had developed a routine; sneak out as soon as Elena let her guard down, go to that same spot in the woods, get high and either pass out or walk home, depending on how much or what I had took.

I had relaxed up against the tree and was lazily doodling on a sketchpad. Somehow, no matter how out of touch I was I still loved to draw and sometimes the results were very interesting. Unfortunately it was beginning to get dark and I didn't want to stay out tonight. I would be lucky not to catch hypothermia from the cold tonight. I would definitely need to be inside. I didn't have a death wish.

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I was oddly refreshed the next day, the haze was dull and I lay in my bed, unusually content but I could've guessed it wouldn't last long.

“Jer, I'm going to Stefan's! I might be a while, Damon's supposedly being a lot of trouble.” Hearing that name tore me open, it made me feel disgusting and weak. I drank until I passed out whilst she was away. I was in the woods, somewhere I hoped no one would come past as it was the middle of the day but luck wasn't on my side, nothing was any more.

Someone found me, I couldn't remember who it was, I was barely conscious but unfortunately they knew me . . . and my sister. I didn't remember anything past that but I woke up in my bed, again. Elena was sat next to my bed, just like before but this time she wasn't looking at me in worry or concern, she was really annoyed. I tried to ignore her and sleep but she never moved and I really needed to pee.

“I got a call from Ric ten minutes ago. He found you in the woods, passed out. He's freaking out downstairs, he thought you had been hurt-” I got out of my bed, my head span and my stomach lurched but I managed to to stay stood up. I really didn't want to listen to her at the moment and the banging headache definitely wasn't helping. “Where do you think you're going?” She quizzed me, jumping up to block the path out of my room. 

“I need the toilet” I sighed as I tried to push past her but she didn't budge.

“Sit down” She ordered me. “We need to talk.” I collapsed back onto the bed. I knew what she was going to say, I had heard it all before; I'm disappointed, you're just a kid, you're destroying yourself. This wasn't going to be any different.

“What happened?” She asked, real concern in her voice. I was surprised, she still stood there stiffly, angrily but her tone was caring. I didn't know what to say, maybe she knew, she had seen Da-Him. I thought, avoiding the name. I just sat there frozen, what was she going to do?

“Jer, I know you're back on the drugs and you must have a really good reason for doing this but you know they are not the answer to whatever it is.” 

“You don't know how hard it is, what every day is like.” I sobbed.

“Then tell me. I will always be here for you to talk to me.” I just sat there in silence, I didn't know what to say. Eventually I just nodded my head, lost at what else to say but she took it as an agreement and stood. “I have to go out, don't do anything stupid. I love you.” She smiled before slipping out of the door. 

I sat there for a moment, I didn't know how to take her sudden change of heart. A few more moments and I might have told her everything but she had left me, again. I had let my thoughts wander too much and I was starting to come round from the effects of the drugs and alcohol. I needed another distraction, soon. I pulled my bag out from under my wardrobe, already fully packed, ready for any mood that hit me, and ran out of the house. I felt terrible for ignoring Elena like this but I couldn't face what happened, I just wanted the feeling to stop. I needed to be numb.


	5. Truth

### Damon's POV

 

She had only been here for a matter of minutes but Stefan had magically needed to go and talk with Ric about some magical paper and she had turned her attention to me.

“Well well well . . . Damon Salvatore is still on his guilt trip. Gone anywhere fun?” I heard a deadly sweet voice ring across the room from the doorway. I was going to attempt normality tomorrow. Start again and pretend that I had an incredibly fuzzy memory of the last week, it was better than explaining it, but she was going to push me. I was going to have to lie to everyone, starting now.

I took a deep mental breath, holding in all the guilt. Something I have done for too long, it couldn't be so hard now. “I have no idea what you mean, Katherine, I have no idea what happened. In fact I can hardly remember the last week after my night out. I must have drank something pretty awful." I smirked at her but I knew it hadn't worked. The words sounded fake to even my ears. “How was your trip?”

"Drop the act, Damon. If anyone knows you it's me and I know you're not be truthful with me. What did you do?"

"I don't know what your imaginative little mind has been conjuring up but I assure you, nothing has happened." I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up animatedly. I obviously couldn't stay here. I felt like I was running away, something I would never do. Sure I could do a tactical retreat but this was the first time it felt like I was running away.

"Going to see Jeremy?" I froze, it felt like I had be winded as I choked on my next breath, all comebacks lost. I tried to run out of the door but she was older and faster than me and easily pulled me back into the room. "I don't want to hurt you, Damon."

"I find that hard to believe, all of this is your fault!" I lashed out at her, attempting to maintain some control.

"Blame it all on me if it makes you feel better but I am serious Damon, I just want to help."

"Whatever" I growled, "Just get out." She rolled her eyes at me and stormed out of the house without saying another word and I collapsed onto my bed. Five minutes talking to someone and I was mentally exhausted. I took a few deep breaths and made my way downstairs, I needed some blood anyway.

I quickly grabbed some from the fridge, not bothering to warm it up, and sipped it as I flicked through the channels on the TV. Stefan and Elena walked through the door, then. They both froze. 

Elena was the first one to get over my presence. "Hey, Damon. Nice to see you up!" She smiled warmly at me and I returned it with a smug grin. She was still unusually perky after what I di-Had happened, I quickly corrected myself. This was not the time for a trip down memory lane. "Glad to know you're feeling better."

"What do you mean?" I asked, faking confusion. This was harder than I had expected. I had feigned many feelings before but then I hadn't cared, I had been empty, easily able to fill it with false emotion but now I was reigning in the feelings that threatened to explode.

"You have been practically comatose for the last week, Damon." She walked towards me slowly and put a hand on my shoulder reassuringly but I pulled back, the touch panicking me rather than calming me. I looked at her wide eyed with real distress from her action, cracks were showing already. I masked it as fear from her words.

"Th-thats impossible. It's Friday, the 17th." I breathed deeply. I could pull this off. 

"No Damon. It's the 24th." She tried to comfort me with her eyes. "What is the last thing you remember?" Images of Jeremy flashed through my mind and I visibly shivered.

"Jer-" I didn't mean to say it but the word I had denied myself to say pushed it's way out of my lips at the thought. It came out in just a whisper, so quiet that Elena, who was only a few steps away, couldn't hear it. Unfortunately, Stefan did. I found myself pinned against the wall.

"What did you do to him?" he snarled at me, his nail dug uncomfortably into my arm.

"I don't know what you mean, brother." I tried to sound unfazed by his sudden aggression but I couldn't look at him in the eye when I said it. Since when did I get so bad at lying?

"Damon, that is the second time I have heard you say that name this week. The other time you were having a fucking mental breakdown." He hissed in my ear, so quiet Elena couldn't hear. "So you are going to tell me right now what you did. Without the theatrics or I tell Elena!”

"Stefan, what are you doing?" Elena decided to chime in after a few minutes of him trying to choke me.

"Last chance.” He whispered in my ear but I didn't back down, I couldn't tell him. He would kill me. He just smiled victoriously and turned to Elena. “He knows what happened to Jeremy." She instantly turned on me, presuming I was the culprit. She was right but it wasn't nice to accuse people.

"If you don't tell me what you did right now I will get Bonnie and she will torture you until you confess to every wrong thing you have ever done, including what you did to Jer." She said slowly and deliberately, the menace she injected into the words made it incredibly believable.

"Who said I did anything? It's not right for you to accuse some- OW!" My well thought out and probably best performed line of the night was interrupted by Stefan placing a tight grip on my neck. "I'm going to need that." I managed to lash at him. I hardly felt it really, it was a dull ache in comparison to the guilt that was eating me each moment I thought about him. 

I then had a brilliant idea, or idiotic, depends on how you look at it. "Your very right, Elena, it was me." I gave her my best so-what smirk. "Do you want the truth? I drained your little innocent brother dry and left him dead for the doggies to nibble at."

Emotions flashed across her face. Sad, pain, guilt and she settled on angry, just like I had expected. 

"You Fucking DICK!" She screamed at me. This is the part where the plan goes fuzzy, she's angry enough to kill me but doesn't have a weapon. Great. "Stefan, don't let go of him." She stalked off to the basement where she knew there were some stakes. I might actually be dead in five minutes.

She came back with a sharp bit of wood, also known as the end of my existence. She pressed it up against my heart and every instinct told me to fight but I stayed completely still. I leaned as far forwards as I could with Stefan holding me and delivered the final kick.

"He was delicious." I chuckled at her. I felt the pressure behind the weapon built as she pushed it into my skin, the last few breaths I took I thought only of Jeremy, when we had actually spent time together, the memories rushing through my mind. Tears welled in my eyes as I finally let myself feel all of it, the pain and hurt but also the hope and yearning I had for him. If I pretended really hard I could almost feel the happiness from the times I saw him when he was alive.

Suddenly the pressure was gone from my chest too fast for me to register and it was replaced with searing pain in my stomach. I fell to the ground, the agonising feeling ripping through my body. I barely registered the next words through the pain.

“We are leaving now and when we come back you won't be here and we will never see you again or you will wish you were dead." The words were followed by silence other that my groans of pain and my rugged breathing as they left the house.

I pulled myself up against the wall, ignoring the pain. A stake protruded from my stomach, blood seeping from the wound. I counted to three as I curled my fingers around the wood and ripped the stake out of me. I had seriously underestimated that bitch.

I needed blood to heal and it was going to take hours for this to get even remotely better. I carefully pulled myself up and leaned against the wall for support as I moved towards the fridge.

Ten minutes and three bags of blood later and the wound hadn't healed at all. Why couldn't I have just took off my ring and gone for a midday walk, that would have been easier but no, I had to be dramatic and spontaneous with my suicide. I put down my third empty glass, this was hopeless. 

"Need some help?" I heard an all too familiar voice.

"Katherine, how very convenient of you to be here. What kind of help is this?"

"Just a faster way to get rid of that nasty looking stake mark there. That was quite a show, by the way, very entertaining. I should have brought popcorn."

"Glad you enjoyed it." I spat at her. "Are you going to magic me better of are you going to stand there like a fucking tree?" I hissed through the pain. She sat next to me and began to roll up her sleeve. "Woah woah woah. I am not doing that! It's probably the worst idea you had since that threesome."

"I never mentioned a threesome."

"Well maybe it was a weirdly erotic dream but the moral of the story is that it was your idea and it didn't end well." She just ignored me and bit her wrist, putting it to my mouth. I could feel my fangs slip into place at the offering and before I could stop myself my lips latched over the cuts. I bit down harder into her wrist, savouring every drop of the familiar tasting liquid. I unwillingly stopped after a few mouthfuls and she had been right, I felt better already.

"Thanks." I said sincerely, I couldn't see any kind of ulterior motive behind her act of selflessness so I decided to take it as just that.

"Damon Salvatore says thank you. It must be my lucky day. You know this changes nothing right. I still believe that your a sad act that needs to move on."

"And I still believe that your an evil manipulative bitch."

"I can see you getting a new little friend soon anyway." She smiled at me. " A certain Gilbert."

"Unless you're totally mad you would have noticed Elena hates me, Jenna has Ric and Jeremy Gilbert is fucking dead." I didn't let my tone change but my eyes screwed shut as I said the last bit, willing my breathing to remain steady and the depression to leave me. I slowly opened them to see Katherine staring at me dumbfounded. "WHAT?" I almost screamed at her, the anger boiling in me.

"Damon." She said slowly, as if she was talking to a child. "Jeremy is alive. The protection ring . . . ring any bells?"

"Huh?" I refused to believe it, it was impossible. She repeated it several times, with shouting and hand gestures, before I could actually absorb what she had said. 

Then it hit me, like a 10 tonne truck. I couldn't help but smile, he was alive and that’s all that mattered. Then everything else hit me, even harder. He was living with what I had done. Why hadn't he told anyone? He needed help. How was I ever going to get him to listen to me? I needed to see him now. 

I jumped up from the chair, startling Katherine and headed straight to the door. I didn't know what I was going to say but I just needed to see if he was okay. All I heard was a "Well goodbye to you, too" as I slammed the door behind me.

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As soon as I got outside I began to see many holes in my plan. I didn't even know where to look for him. I had decided to try his house first but I didn't expect him to be there so I just went straight in through the window. 

The room was exactly as I remembered it, a sea of drawings and paper spread across the desk in the corner. The unmade bed in the middle of the dark room. It smelled of him too, sweet and if warm ever had a scent it was Jeremy but best of all it smelt lived in. Everywhere I looked there were only bad memories but I cast them away. He was alive, I had another chance. I fell onto the the bed, burying my head into the pillow, breathing the smell of him in, trying to remember the exact flavour. I wished I could have stayed there forever, with Jeremy's essence all around me, it was the closest I was ever going to get to him anyway.

I had a quick look around the room, I couldn't help myself. I wanted to know how he was and what he was doing. Nothing seemed to have changed too drastically, the room smelt a little bit different, stale beer and something else. That couldn't be right. In the corner of the room, almost fully hidden by a set of drawers like it had been abandoned, was what I thought was Jeremy's prized possession. 

I had seen him spend hours slaving over it. I picked up the sketchpad and quickly thumbed through the pages. There were pictures of mythical creatures . . . some not so mythical. It also contained pictures of the scenery which was a bit out of place. Many of the pictures were rough sketches or half drawn but the kid had potential.

When I got to the back my hand froze. There were pictures of me. Some of them in various stances and some with me almost completely naked. It was both ego boosting and upsetting at the same time. One; I looked brilliant, the kid was a good drawer and two; it just made me feel worse knowing he had liked me in that way. The last picture proved it, it was the only one with Jeremy in it and we were kissing! My fingers traced the sketch lines and I almost growled in annoyance when I was interrupted.

The door began to open, letting the light leak into the room. I saw him, just for a second, alive and well. I thought I wouldn't be able to leave, I wanted to hold him, keep him safe from anything that might hurt him. I was the only thing that had ever hurt him, I had killed Vicki, I hadn't saved Anna and I had killed him. Twice. I would never be able to touch him again but it didn't matter, he was safe.

I wanted to stay for just a few more seconds, to see his face fully, look into his eyes but I knew I couldn't. I couldn't even believe he could come back into this room with the secrets it possessed. I wanted to stay there with a thousand questions on my lips but I just held the book close to me and stood.

I had disappeared out of the window before Jeremy turned around.


	6. Hate

### Jeremy's POV

 

It was the early morning when I got back home. I snuck in the front door like I usually did, expecting everyone to be in bed but I was immediately cautious. I could see light glowing through the cracks in the door to the living room and I could hear the muted sound of voices on the TV. Against my better judgement I went to the room to see Jenna there, idly watching the screen.

She span around in her seat at the sound of me entering the room and instantly jumped into action.

"Jeremy, don't you dare move." She warned me. I immediately turned to go upstairs but she ran after me and practically dragged me back into the room and throwing me on the couch.

"Hey!" I shouted at her in annoyance. I came back to sleep, about the only thing I used the house for lately and was irritated that this was being prevented, not quite grasping what was happening. My mind had lowered itself to thinking no more than sleep, eat and drink and I avoided anything that stimulated any other thoughts. It left me numb and unfulfilled but content.

"I may look easy to fool Jer but I am not. I tried to give you some space but this has gone on far enough. This insanity is going to stop, I am not going to let you destroy your life. You were just getting better.” Her voice never raised above a whisper but I could hear the disappointment there. “I actually thought I was getting better at this adulty stuff.”

She just sat and looked at me, the blaring colours of the screen had caught my attention halfway through. I wanted to touch it. “Jeremy!” She snapped. “Are you even listening?” I stubbornly turned to face her again and she continued. “You are going to sober up and spill everything! So you'd better get talking or you'll miss your graduation." She said determinedly. "This time you are not getting away."

I didn't respond to her, I just watched her as she watched me. I usually would've bet anything that she would give up first but she was serious this time. She continued to watch the show that was on but I knew that any insignificant move I made was noticed.

I was so tired that I was fighting to keep my eyes open and every time I blinked they threatened to stay shut permanently. I was happy to fall asleep on the couch but I was sure my neck and back would be sore the next day and so I grimly pulled myself up, expecting a fight but I got none instead she said;

“I hope you're going to bed young man. Otherwise we may have a conflict of interests . . .” She trailed off, leaving a larger impression on me than if she would have threatened or blackmailed me.

I heeded her unspoken warning and went straight to my room, the paper moved and rustled as I opened the door and I was sure the window hadn't been open. I couldn't bring myself to be too bothered and quickly shut the window before changing and climbing into my bed. My breaths deepened and I relaxed into the darkness as my mind enclosed in a safe haze that warded off unwanted dreams.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I expected to be tied up or something when I woke up the next morning, which would have been very embarrassing and was glad to find that I wasn't. Instead my door had been somehow locked from the outside, preventing me from leaving. I thought about jumping out of the window but I wasn't that desperate. Yet. Instead I spend a good ten minutes pulling at the door, trying to find some way to escape but found none.

I eventually sighed and walked into the bathroom to pass the time with a shower. I threw my clothes into the hamper and froze as I heard my name from the other side of the wall. Elena's bedroom. I usually wouldn’t listen but it was my business I argued with myself. she was probably talking about my 'strange' attitude with Stefan. It had become pretty normal for him to spend the night.

I pressed my ear up against the wall in an attempt to hear the conversation clearer and was shocked by what I heard.

“-It's okay, don't worry.” I heard Stefan murmur to her as she sobbed and blubbered quietly. I was shocked to hear it and instantly wondered what had upset both of them so much, as it was obvious from his tone that Stefan was upset too.

“How is anything okay, how could any of what has happened be okay?!” I heard her bawl hysterically and my mind reeled to find what had upset my older sister, the strongest of us, so much. I knew she had been at the boarding house last night and I thought for a moment that He had hurt her.

“He killed Jer, Stefan, just to hurt me. I nearly killed him for it and I really wanted to. How could I want to kill someone-” Her words were cut off again by a mixture of cries and ragged breaths. Stefan whispered words of comfort that I only just caught.

“He's a monster, love. Don't worry, I'll keep you safe, I'll keep all of us safe.” He never stopped, his words of assurance seemed to calm her and soon they both fell quiet. I was about to move away and stop listening, I had definitely heard too much, when Elena continued. Her words were so raw with emotion, pain and truth that I knew that it was something I should never hear without consent.

“I was going to do it. Kill him.” She admitted. “But then I saw it. Stefan, I think he actually wanted me to kill him! He looked so . . . vulnerable and exposed, just for a moment. I couldn't do it.” There was silence for a moment and I wished I could see in there. See the expressions on their face to have some indication on what was happening.

“I think he did. He tried to do it . . . before. After you came over I caught him, his ring was off and he was just about to walk into the sun. I was sure he was going to do it . . . kill himself.” I listened intensely as both of them talked about him, revealing their secrets and creating links.

“Why?” It was a simple question, one I was begging to be answered. Was it because of me? Did he really care? It was sick of me to wish that he was hurting because of what he did but I did anyway. I hoped that he would kill himself. He deserved it.

“Jeremy.” They both said it, my name, like it was an answer and an even more complex question. It was news to me, that they knew . . . something, not the whole story but enough. They knew more about Him.

“It might be good for him, he might be better.” One of them, I didn't know which, muttered.

“We are talking about the same person, aren't we?” Elena said jokingly, her words clashed with the mood from just moments ago.

“I dunno, this time it's different. He . . . feels bad for what he did. Could we give him another chance?”

“One more.” Elena sighed in defeat. “But if he does anything that is even slightly wrong, he goes .”

They fell silent suddenly and before I could wonder why I heard Aunt Jenna finally leave her room. I heard a knock on my door as she walked past so I dressed and when I went to try my door it opened without hindrance. I sighed and followed the quickly retreating figure down the stairs.

I wanted nothing other than to run out of the door. My head was swimming with the information about him and my brain had worked harder in these last few minutes than the whole of last week combined. I needed to stop before it became too much but all I could do was sit and wait.

Jenna was already on the phone to someone by the time I made it downstairs so I set about making myself a cup of coffee, trying desperately hard not to listen in on my second conversation of the day.

“Right . . . thanks . . . see you then, bye!” I was already half way through drinking the coffee by the time she finally finished her conversation.

“Who was that?” I asked out of curiosity.

“It was Dr. Bridge. You remember him, right? Such a nice guy, I booked you in for an appointment.”

“You called the shrink!” I practically screamed at her. “Without even talking to me?”

“Don't talk to me like that young man. I have tried to talk to you but you just keep running away. You are going to see him.”

“I don't want to talk to him. I won't go.” I pouted but I didn't care that I was acting like a five year old, I didn't need to talk to anyone, I would be fine if they just left me alone.

I was about to go back to my room when I was tackled by Elena. She held me in a vice-tight grip as she murmured words I couldn't heard to me. Eventually she pulled back, tears glistening on her cheeks.

“Jer, I'm so sorry. I can't believe he would do that, well . . . I do. But that's not the point! You should have told me. God, you must feel so bad . . .”

She rambled on for ages and I just wanted her to stop. This wasn't something I wanted to talk about. Why couldn't they just leave me alone? Instead of sitting there and taking the pity and false comforts I turned and ran out of the house. I was followed for a few minutes by an angry Jenna and a confused Elena but I soon left them behind, glad to finally be alone.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The only thing I had on me was two small white pills. I couldn't even remember what they did. They could've been aspirin for all I knew but I swallowed both of them, just in case. Five minutes later I was sat in a doorway, trying to remember if the annoying dog that had been barking in my ear could actually help me. I needed to get . . . somewhere. I didn't know where but I was sure it was important but no one was exactly being helpful.

I was sure I was in some kind of abandoned area. Very few people walked past, even though it was the middle of the day and none of them graced me with even a glance.

I didn't know how long later I began to come round, eventually becoming aware of my surroundings. I climbed to my feet, wishing I didn't have to go home. I had probably scared Aunt Jenna to death which wouldn't help on the 'I'm fine so leave me alone' front. I sighed and started walking home.

I could probably get home from any point in Mystic falls but somehow I had managed to end up as far away form my house as possible. My feet hurt and there was still a long way to go, which really wasn't helping with the idea of actually going home. I sighed and rounded yet another corner.

I thought I was seeing things. He was right there, his jet hair was dishevelled and it looked like he had put on clothes that had been on the floor for months. I would never have recognised him if it wasn't for those bright blue orbs that stared straight back at me, the shock was obvious in his face, even from ten feet away. He stepped forwards and I reacted immediately.

I span around faster than I ever had in my life and sprinted as fast as I could. Unfortunately it wasn't fast enough.

“Jeremy!” I heard him shout from closer behind me. “Please stop!” I didn't listen to him and ran faster, my breaths were already shallow and fast from a mixture of panic and the power I put into the run, even though it was helpless. He appeared in front of me, so close that I almost ploughed into him. My muscles locked in fear and I shot in the opposite direction, almost falling in my desperation to get away.

I was trapped, I knew it but I could never stop fighting, it could never happen again. This time he didn't run ahead, I felt strong arms wrap around my body, pinning me to him. I couldn't move my arms but I pounded my legs against any part of him I could but it seemingly didn't affect him at all. I was so scared that my heart thudded erratically and I was choking on every terror-stricken breath.

“Damon.” I squeaked. “Please-Don't. I'll do anything, just don't do it.” I sobbed and begged, just hoping that Elena was right and he did care. “I never told anyone. I swear-I'll never do that!” I tried to say anything to stop him, even just to delay him for a moment.

“Jer, please, just relax. I won't hurt you, I promise.” I didn't acknowledge the pain in his voice or the hand that stroked through my hair in a comforting gesture, I had to get away.

“Somebody Help-HELP!” I cried out as loud as I could, my screams hurting my throat but the street was deserted.

“Jer, I can explain, just stay quiet!” When I didn't listen he began to drag me, to where I didn't know but I was waiting for the moment he would throw me to the ground and tear away my clothes but he never did.

He pulled me into an alleyway, the sun was blocked out, casting the confined area into shadows. I was fully crying now. He was going to rape me again. I felt so weak. I couldn't do anything. I finally stopped kicking him, my whole body sagged in defeat.

“I'm sorry.” I cried. There was nothing else to say and I was so desperate. “I promise I won't do it again, just don't make it hurt.” I choked. He turned me around so I was staring into his confused eyes.

“You never did anything wrong, Jer, and I'm not going to hurt you, I promise.” He whispered, he was so close to me that I could feel his breath. He brought up a hand and a finger slowly stroked my cheek. My shaking body flinched away from his touch and he pulled back immediately and I saw the guilt and regret permanently etched into his features

“Right, I'm going to let you go now, just don't run off.” He said slowly, almost patronisingly. His arms moved from around me and I shot away from him, standing as far away as I could in the narrow area, with my back pressed against the wall but I didn't run. I knew I was being stupid but something had changed in him.

After a long silence I relaxed slightly. My heart, which had been threatening to jump out of my chest, slowed. He hadn't moved in the whole time as I considered my situation. Eventually I concluded that I couldn't get away and all of my borrowed power ebbed from my body.

“Are you okay?” He spoke first and his question left me lost for words. How could he ask such a question. Of course I wasn't. I was being held against my will with the man that attacked and killed me.

“What do you think?” I whispered bitterly as I stared at him. He averted his gaze and visibly flinched at my words.

“I know it can't mean much but you have to know that I am sorry. That I regret what I did every moment of my life. I wish I could take it back, more than anything in the world.” He took a step towards me and I took several steps away from him in response.

I saw anger flare up in his eyes at my reaction, he growled and turned to the wall, punching it. I jumped back in alarm at his sudden change, the wall had visibly cracked where he had punched it and I was sure it must've hurt even him.

He turned back, the madness in his eyes were gone and they soon filled with sorrow as he turned to see me, ready to bolt if he went towards me again. “Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry.” He came out with a string of apologies. “I just . . . really hate myself at the moment.”

“Then why-I need to know why me, why would you do it?”

“Because I was angry. Because you were there and so many more fucking ridiculous reasons. There is no excuse for what I did but I want to make it better.”

“The only thing you can do is leave me alone, don't come near me again.” I summoned the courage to turn my back on him and walk away, every moment my eyes weren’t on him I though he would sneak up on me but I pushed on. Instead, he used his speed to cut in front of me again and I couldn't help but yelp in alarm.

“Wait, I actually wanted to talk to you.” He said before I could do anything. “I thought I could get rid of that night so you can forget, move on. It's the least I could do to help.”

“Just so you could feel better.” I snapped. “So you don't have to live with what you did? Well, No! I hate you and that will never change, no matter what you do.”

“Just, please, think about it. It's not for me, I just want you to be better.” He smiled slightly, his eyes still filled with anguish and I was sure I saw them fill up before he disappeared leaving me alone in the dark street.

My mind raced to digest everything that had just happened, he had been nice and he obviously regretted what he had done but I wouldn't-couldn't-forgive him. I set off home and for the first time I wondered what was going to happen next.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a huge commotion when I got home, Aunt Jenna was furious for a moment before I wrapped my arms around her like I did when I was little. I said I was sorry for running off and it was the truth. I wished I hadn't gone and hadn't seen him. He had messed up my mind, it had been easier when I believed he was a monster and could never regret his actions but now everything had changed.

Predictably Elena thought I was high on something because of my display, she couldn't believe that I was genuinely happy to see them. She inspected me, searching for any obvious signs that I had taken something but found none. If anything I felt more down to earth than I had in such a long time, even before that night.

That talk with Damon had changed things and along with Elena and Stefan's conversation, I was beginning to think that maybe I would let him change my memories. I could go back to normal, like it never happened, and that possibility was looking more and more promising.

I wasn't stupid though. I couldn't let an ignorant me chase him, I admittedly had somehow liked him, though it sickened me now. I could never touch him after what he did and so I spent the remainder of the day planning, trying to find a way of letting myself know the dangers without telling me what happened.

When I went to bed that night I was hit hard by my room for the first time. I had always had something in my system that calmed me and I would make myself so tired that I didn't care what had happened in the room but that night I held onto my pillow tightly as I waited for the horrible nightmares that I knew would haunt my dreams.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was still under house arrest the next day but it didn't bother me, I had to get everything prepared. I was going to let him do it. It was risky but I was sure he wasn't going to try anything, he seemed really sorry for what he did.

It didn't mean I forgave him, nowhere near. The idea of letting him near me made me feel sick and I was taking plenty of precautions. I had raided every part of the house for as much vervain as I could. I found plenty of leaves of the plant in Elena's room and shoved them in my pocket. I would have been happier to drink some but then the compulsion wouldn't work.

It was fast approaching 7pm, I only had an hour. It was the time I had decided to tell him that I would let him and I only had one more thing to do. I switched on my laptop. I had battled with myself over doing this. I had to warn myself about Damon somehow, I couldn't run around still feeling like that around that monster. Another part of me thought it was a ridiculous, I would look too deep and find out the truth. One clue would force me to find out everything, just like with the vampires.

I closed the lid of the laptop, it was done. I sent a quick message to Damon.

'I'll do it.'

I sat back on the bed, trying my hardest to relax as I waited for my killer.


	7. Promise

### Damon's POV

 

(A/N-This is similar to the last chapter. It shows Damon's view of these events.)

Since I had found out that he was truly alive I had resorted to following the boy everywhere. I know, it's wrong, creepy and Edward Cullen-like (Caroline had forced me to read all of the books) but I had to. I needed to know what he was up to, what had happened and how he was. Which wasn't working out too well.

As far as I could tell he had started to take drugs again. I was aware that he had after his parents had died but now he didn't seem to spend a moment sober. I watched the worry on Jenna and Elena's faces and I didn't blame them, he was a wreck because of me.

I turned another corner. At the moment he was attempting to get home whilst very very high and not doing a very good job of it. I relaxed for a moment as he collapsed into a doorway. I went down to where he was, quickly making sure that he was okay before retreating to a safe distance before he woke up. I was aware of the stirring in my crotch after being so close to him. It made me sick, how I could still want him so much after what I had done but I did. Every time I thought of him my body reacted but I tried to ignore it.

I sighed and turned another corner, he had woken up again after 5 minutes and I was just following close enough to keep tabs on him without arousing suspicion. 

“Hey, Damon!” I heard someone call me. I tried to ignore them and continued to walk down the street but they ran up towards me. I turned to none other than the wonderfully oblivious sheriff. She began to talk to me, commenting on how horrible I looked. She didn't exactly spell it out but I was aware that I was forfeiting my usually pristine look to follow Jer around a lot.

I made up an excuse of just coming back into town to explain my absence and current state and I made it very obvious that I wanted to be somewhere else but she didn't budge. She continued to chat about work, vampire Barbie and (Shhhh) the Council. I was getting very restless at that point, I had totally lost Jer and was considering just leaving her there.

Eventually we said our long goodbyes and as soon as she was out of the way I sprinted away as fast as I could to find the young Gilbert.

I looked down every street I could until I eventually saw him. Unfortunately, he saw me too. He was heading straight towards me and when he saw me I could tell that he was petrified. He span around so fast that I barley saw it before he bolted away from me.

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just leave him like that, thinking that I was trying to attack him but I couldn't approach him no matter how much I wanted to. I had been thinking about trying to confront him, he had been struggling and it killed me knowing that where was something I could do about it. I could change his memories so it had never happened.

“Jeremy! Please stop!” I cried as loud as I could as I jogged behind him to keep up, I had made my decision and was going to talk to him. He didn't slow down and I could tell that I was scaring him from the frantic way he ran and the desperate gasps he took as he tried and failed to push himself faster. 

I could feel my whole chest twist painfully at his reaction, he wasn't just afraid of me, he was completely and utterly terrified. Just looking at me distressed him. I quickly skipped ahead of him to get him to stop running before he hurt himself but I just made it worse, his heart beat was so fast and strained that I was surprised that he didn't have a heart attack.

I panicked when he flew off again like he was being chased and if he stopped he would die. I had to get him to stop. This time I carefully came up behind him and held his back to my chest. Pinning his arms, too, so he wouldn't hurt himself if he panicked.

For a moment he was too shocked to move and all I did was hold him, basking in the feeling of him next to my chest, so close I could feel the heat radiating off him. That didn't last long though and he began to kick me, each blow actually hurt a lot. He was using all of his strength to try break free of me but I waited and took the abuse until his kicks began to get weaker.

“Damon. Please-Don't. I'll do anything, just don't do it!” He begged into me as he almost cried. “I never told anyone. I swear-I'll never do that!” The pain in his voice almost made me let go of him but I couldn't now. I had to make him see that I wasn't a threat.

“Jer, please, just relax. I won't hurt you, I promise.” I whispered as soothingly as I could as I stroked a hand through his hair, trying to calm him but it didn't work. 

Luckily we had been on a very quiet road and nobody had come past. Until now. I saw someone coming up the road, unaware of what was happening so far. 

Jeremy, of course, chose this moment to cry out for help. “Somebody Help-HELP!” He screamed, every word tearing at me but I couldn't think about it. I needed to get us out of the way.

“Jer, I can explain, just stay quiet!” I tried first but he continued to cry out jumbled words that stopped making sense. I quickly pulled him into a side-street, away from anyone. I felt Jeremy freeze up from the move but there was nothing else I could do. 

I was surprised when he sagged into me, all of his muscles failing. 

“I'm sorry.” I could hardly hear him splutter it out. “I promise I won't do it again, just don't make it hurt.” Everything in me was crying out for him to not give up. He had never given up, unlike me. He had gone out to face the world (granted that he was high) whilst I hid in my room and it wasn't even me that was attacked.

“You never did anything wrong, Jer, and I'm not going to hurt you, I promise.” I said after a moment of being lost for words. I went to run a finger over his cheek and catch the stray tear there but he flinched away, making me glad in a way. He would fight, even if he was defenceless. 

I waited for a moment and when I was sure he wasn't going to do anything rash I let him go with a quick warning;

“Right, I'm going to let you go now, just don't run off.” I expected him to but he just stood at the opposite wall, his large brown eyes never leaving me. We stood in silence as he slowly regained his breath and relaxed. I relaxed with him, every sense that had been on edge subsided.

“Are you okay?” A stupid question but one I was dying to know the answer to, every complicated level of it. 

“What do you think?” He snapped with so much venom that I flinched away from him. I knew exactly what he meant.

“I know it can't mean much but you have to know that I am sorry. That I regret what I did every moment of my life. I wish I could take it back, more than anything in the world.” It rushed out of my mouth before either of us had a chance to stop it and it felt brilliant. A small weight was lifted off my shoulders at saying that. Just him knowing made him seeing me worthwhile. I took a tentative step forwards. I couldn't see him reacting any way other than badly but it still hurt when he stepped even farther away from me, pushing himself into the wall.

I couldn't stop the reaction that hit me right then at his response. Before I knew it my hand was flung into the wall as I tried to do anything to remove the pain that shot through me. I turned around to see him frozen, staring at me with enough fear for a dozen people.

“Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry.” I repeated. “I just . . . really hate myself at the moment.” I finished lamely, clenching my fist as I tested which fingers I had broken.

“Then why-I need to know why me, why would you do it?” It was the first sentence he had actually said to me that hadn't been an insult or a plea and I didn't know how to answer it, not in a way that would make him feel better.

“Because I was angry. Because you were there and so many more fucking ridiculous reasons. There is no excuse for what I did but I want to make it better.” I know I sounded hopeful with the last line, I couldn't help it. If he would just stop hating me, one day, then I would be happy.

“The only thing you can do is leave me alone, don't come near me again.” He said to me his voice strong with new-found confidence as he turned away from me and stalked down the path. I ignored his rejection and ran after him for one last try. 

“Wait, I actually wanted to talk to you.” It was true, I really couldn't let him go without at least suggesting the idea. “I thought I could get rid of that night so you can forget, move on. It's the least I could do to help.” 

“Just so you could feel better.” He barked at me. “So you don't have to live with what you did? Well, No! I hate you and that will never change, no matter what you do.” I flinched back, the words hurting more than any physical pain. I just hoped he didn't mean it. I just couldn't carry on knowing he hated me.

“Just, please, think about it. It's not for me, I just want you to be better.” I smiled at him slightly, reassuring him and hopefully swaying him to the idea. I left it at that before I said something else. He could get home by himself anyway, I just hoped he would make the right decision.

\-----

I had gone back to the house after that which wasn't a good idea. I was bombarded by Katherine who asked endless questions on Jeremy's well-being. I just wondered why she didn't find out herself, she never seemed to leave the house. After the time she spent in the tomb I would've thought she would spend every moment possible outside but she just hung around the house being annoying and scaring away the door-to-door salesmen or maybe occasionally eating them.

I tried to have a nap, I tried to watch TV. I even tried to have a civilised conversation with Katherine but nothing passed the time. The whole next day went by incredibly slowly and by the time it reached 8pm I was ready to rip my hair out. I didn't even know what I was waiting for . . . well I did but I didn't even know why I was expecting a response off Jeremy. He had probably tried to forget that I had even talked to him but I couldn't dislodge the small seed of hope that said he would agree.

It was still a shock when it happened, I thought maybe I was dreaming or delusional but it was there. Three small words changed everything. It was a simple 'I'll do it.' but it had me running out of the door like I had a hungry werewolf on my tail.

I decided to take the car, it seemed the easiest option but the drive was long. In reality it was only ten minutes but I couldn't seem to drive fast enough. I was incredibly nervous by the time I got there. A range of fantasies flew through my mind from it being a trap all the way to him forgiving me. Unfortunately the first one was more likely. 

I climbed in through the window, not sure if I could get through the front door and was immediately faced with Jeremy. 

“Are you serious?” He just nodded in response from his spot on the bed. He was obviously on edge but not as bad as last time. He almost seemed as eager as me to get this done.

“How do we do this?” He said as he looked up from his spot on the bed. 

“Well . . . You wearing any vervain?” He unclasped the small bracelet that hung around his wrist and dramatically threw it onto the desk without breaking eye contact. “Right, lets get this show on the road.” I walked over to him and he instantly jumped back. 

"Jer, please, you have to stay still." I whispered as I sped to hold his wrists down, compelling him at the same time. I understood why he was jumpy about me touching him but it was easier for both of us if he stayed still. He stayed frozen still, his eyes wide with shock and I released his wrists. I sat across from Jer, legs crossed in the same position as him.

“W-wait. I have some terms before you do this.” He said and when I didn't give him a response he continued. I had been dreading this bit. “I don't want you to come near me.” He said right off. “Only talk to me if it is unavoidable. I'm not going to force you to leave whilst I'm . . . unaware but I can't have anything to do with you.”

“And how do you know I am going to stick to your terms.” I asked him.

“Because I said so.” He acted so confident, even though he was completely helpless. I could do anything right now and he wouldn't be able to move. “I'm not finished. If I ever find out something. If I look into it or five years from now I want to know, I want you to give me my memories back and leave. I never want to see you again, knowing what you did to me.” I nodded, surprisingly none of his requests were thoughtless or unfair. He had probably put a lot of thought into this.

I brought my hand up to cup his cheek, glad to be finally able to touch him but I could see the effort he put into not moving away. He really had thought this through and had some more vervain on him somewhere but I didn't comment on it. 

"Jer, before we do this I just want to say thanks. I've been trying to change for so long and I just couldn't but now I know what to do. What happened-what I did-changed something and now I am sure that I can do anything, be anyone if you say the word. I could do anything, be anyone for you.”

“The only thing you can be to me is dead.” He hissed and I felt it as his fist connected with my jaw harshly. I pressed a thumb on my lip, feeling the small cut heal and bringing away a small bead of blood.

The punch didn't hurt, the words did but I didn't let him see it. "Feel better?" 

He just slumped back into the bed in surrender. "No."

“Where's the rest of it?” He simply reached into his pocked and pulled out a stem of the plant before unceremoniously throwing on the floor. “Jer, look at me.” I whispered, moving closer to him. His eyes unwillingly rolled up until they met mine. 

I buried the memories as deep as I could, I never wanted him to remember this. “You're going to forget that night and every time you have seen me since. You got back on the drugs after an old friend came back into town and the whole of last week is a bit of a blur. He's gone now and you are going to go back to school as normal. If anyone asks you're fine now, right?”

“I'm fine now.” He echoed in a monotone.

“Good, get some sleep, you've got school in the morning.” I stepped back and watched him comply, getting ready for bed in a daze like I wasn't there. When I was sure he was settled I carefully slipped the bracelet back around his wrist and disappeared out of the window for the last time.


	8. Lies

### Jeremy's POV

My hand groped blindly around my bedside table, attempting to find the source of that awful buzzing noise that made my head feel like it was going to split open with every ring. I gladly pressed the button when my hand came into contact with the alarm.

I looked at the time; 8:20. I jumped out of my bed as quickly as I could. I needed to leave for school in five minutes! I pulled on the nearest clothes I could find, not caring if they matched or were clean. I grabbed my bag and stormed down the stairs towards the door.

"Hey. You're still grounded!" I heard a voice shout after me. I got grounded? Wow, it must have been a crazy week for Aunt Jenna to ground me. I realised that the last week was a total blur but didn't dwell on it. That had happened before-especially when Conner came into town. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd got me arrested. I couldn't help but smile. It's a shame he had to leave so soon.

I walked into the kitchen, smiling at random thoughts of what could've happened ran through my mind before I was faced with a very angry Aunt.

"Umm, morning."

"Where do you think you're going?"

"School. It is Monday, isn't it?"

"Now don-Wait, what? Really?"

"Yep."

"Well, straight there, straight back. Don't talk to strangers, eat your fruits and vegetables. And, for God's sake, have a nice safe clean day!" She quickly kissed me on the cheek and shooed me out the door. "Elena and Stefan already left and I need my car so you're gonna have to walk."

Great. I sighed to myself, I could probably get a lift anyway. That instantly boosted my mood as I all but skipped out the door.

* * *

 

School was exactly the same as always. Dull and boring. I got a few odd looks, well more than usual. When I got to history I was supplied with many confused looks from Ric and I wasn't surprised when he asked me

"You missed school completely last week. Are you okay." Wow. Him and Aunt Jenna were the perfect couple, they were always on my case.

"I'm fine, it was just a crazy one week thing. I'm back to stay."

"Right. Well, if you want to talk or something you know where to find me." He finished awkwardly.

"Thanks." I smiled before leaving the classroom as fast as I could. It wasn't that I didn't like the guy, I just really wasn't appreciating all the attention I was getting.

The rest of the day went in a thankful blur and I was relieved when I finally walked through the door. I went straight up to my room after shouting an 'I'm home' with no reply.

I jumped up the stairs and turned on my laptop. I was sure I wasn't going to get some time alone for a little while and seized the opportunity to have some time to myself.

I sat down, flicking though my files until I reached the well hidden porn when I spotted something that hadn't been there before. The first thing that came up on my laptop was an intimidating 'Watch Me' sign. I hesitated for a moment, it could be anything but curiosity quickly got the best of me and I pressed the button.

I was shocked by what I saw. It was me and I looked-I looked like shit. There was no other way of saying it. There were huge bags under my eyes and they were bloodshot, contrasting my too pale face. My hair was clearly forgotten about as it stuck up at odd angles in a horrid mess.

He-I looked panicked, scared and I didn't know why. When he spoke his voice was rough but I didn't notice as I listened hard to his words.

“Um, hi, Jer-me. This is really weird. I need to talk to you. I'm you from the past. But you probably already figured that out, I'm babbling. Just listen to me. This is really important. The last week is a lie. Whatever memories you have, whatever you think is real, isn't.” I just stared at me through the screen as he struggled for words.

“The memories are fake, something happened that you can't know about. Don't look into it. I know that's the first thing you want to do but you can't. It's not worth it. And stay away from Damon. I know what you think. I know how you. . . feel about him but you can't. He's bad news, stay away from him and don't tell anyone you know this. I couldn't risk him not keeping his end of the deal. Shit!” He exclaimed loudly, making me jump back from the screen I had been engrossed in.

“Just forget I said that. Don't look into anything I said and for fucks sake keep away from Damon Salvatore. Don't ask him about this, you do not want to know.” He stressed the words, almost begging for me to heed his warning.

It must be bad if I willingly had my memories changed. I never wanted that to happen again after Vicki. I leaned back into my chair with an exasperated sigh, my good mood destroyed. I was annoyed with myself. How could I leave a cryptic puzzle, tell me to ignore it and to avoid the object of my wet dreams?

I shut the laptop down and went downstairs, completely confused and intent on eating as much as I could to remedy my muddled brain. It was the thing about Damon that got me. I hadn't exactly been there all the time but it looked like he'd stopped with the evil murdering part.

I just pulled a huge bag of crisps out of the cupboard and went to sit in the living room, eating always helped me to concentrate. I put on a random programme, not even noticing what it was as I sat, mulling over the situation. I couldn't begin to imagine what I had seen for me to get that worked up. That's what I presumed anyway. I had seen Damon do something. What had I seen was the question.

I would have taken a lot for me to act like that about it. I had watched him torture Mason Lockwood. He had even killed me and I hadn't lost a night's sleep over it. If anything I actually, in a sick sadistic-like way, couldn't think of Damon in any way other than a cold-blooded killer.

I huffed and shoved another crisp into my mouth. I wasn't getting anywhere and I really wanted to know the truth. It was eating away at me but I knew I had to reign in my curiosity, at least for now.

“Hey, Jer. How are you feeling?” I heard Elena ask as she sat next to me. I hadn't noticed her beforehand, too lost in my thoughts.

“I'm fine.” I responded simply. Was I supposed to let her know that my memory had been changed. |Would acting like I remembered the real events last week make her suspicious or the warning. I quickly decided to play dumb and go along with the fake memories if she asked any more questions.

“Do you . . . want to talk about it?” She asked hesitantly.

“What's there to talk about? I had a bit of a crazy week, got rid of any stress but I'm totally over it. Back to reality and all that.” I said, secretly proud of myself for, hopefully, pulling it off.

She just gave me a confused look before it turned calculating and devious. “Well, that's great. I wish I could stick around but I forgot about this important thing me and Caroline were going to do.” She lied as she ran out the door.

* * *

 

### Damon's POV

I tried to not make a habit of checking in on Jeremy, it wasn't healthy. I did it anyway but only occasionally. Now was one of these times. I was sat in a tree of all places, watching and waiting for him to leave the house. It wasn't breaking any of his terms, not really.

There was a huge smile on the teenager's face as he walked out the door. I felt a strange fuzzy feeling consume me at the sight. The sense was alien to me but it felt good and I couldn't help but smile along with him as walked down the street with a spring in his step.

To my dismay, I couldn't follow him to school, no matter how much I wanted to. I was left with a completely empty day to fill. I just mumbled something about shutting up to my brain as it chanted Jeremy Jeremy Jeremy. How was I going to manage to stay away from him?

* * *

 

“Got any threes?” I asked for the umpteenth time. She had to be cheating, how can you not pick up a three after ten rounds!

“Go fish.” Katherine smiled falsely at me.

“Right! Give me your cards right now! You are so cheating!” I shouted as I reached over the table to grab her cards but she easily pulled them to her chest and retreated before I could get anywhere near.

“I'm not cheating, you just suck at this game!”

“Well show me your cards and then we'll know!”

“No way, you'll cheat!”

Our fight was interrupted by Stefan walking in through the front door.

“Stefan! Check if Katherine has any threes, she's cheating and won't give them to me!” I cried at him like a toddler having a tantrum.

“Is this what you two do when I'm at school?”

“Some days we play chess.”

“She cheats at that, too.” I added bitterly.

“Well?” She sighed and held out the cards so my brother could see them and I couldn't.

“She doesn't have any threes, Damon.” Stefan sighed.

“Where did you hide the card?” I glared at her. “C'mon, give me the card, then you can have a treat!” I said as I whistled and held out my hand mockingly.

“I hate this game.” She spat as she threw the cards on the table.

“I hate you.” I countered childishly.

“Is there nothing you want to do?” Stefan asked impatiently. He was trying to get rid of us. Elena was probably coming over.

“There's definitely something Damon wants to do.” The bitch chuckled. I dove at her again and she easily sidestepped my attack.

“What- I don't even care, just get out. Both of you!” Stefan ordered, losing his patience.

“Wanna go get a drink?”

“With you?” I thought about it for a moment. “Only if you pay.” I decided. She just sighed and followed me as I stalked away.

* * *

 

I walked back into the manor a few hours later, sufficiently tipsy. It hadn't been to bad, apart from I had been practically interrogated. Since when did she care about my life anyway? I walked into the living room. And walked back out.

Not only was Elena there. Elena was there, on the couch getting acquainted with my brother's tonsils. I had not drunk enough for this moment. Just as I was about to leave I was noticed and was chased after.

“Wait, Damon, I wanted to talk to you.”

“You really looked like you were talking there.” I huffed.

“But-”

“No, no, I get it, tongue wrestling was a great way to pass the time whilst you were waiting.”

“I-I just wanted to ask if it was . . . you.” She said, catching me off guard with the sudden change in topic.

“Me what?”

“That made Jer better.” She said softly, showing that she wasn't angry.

“What about it?” I asked defensively.

“Umm, I just wanted to say thanks for it. He's a lot happier and I appreciate it.” She shyly pecked my cheek. Usually I would be over the moon. Usually I would make a funny remark, push my luck a little too far but all I could think right now was that she thought I did it for her. I did it for Jeremy! She's not the one who had to go through what he did. I sucked in a breath, trying to hold in my anger, how could she be so blind about her own brother!

“I did it for Jeremy. Despite what you think he's not just an annoying kid. He was actually hurting, not like you care. I was forced to change his memories so that he could sleep at night after what I did!” I said in a controlled voice, leaving her speechless. I wasn't quite sure what had happened either. I had just rejected my one obsession for her brother, who I couldn't have.

One thing I was sure of though was I was better of without Elena. She seemed to hate me, then act like I was her friend to betray me, then hate me, stab me with a stake and then thank me. I sighed as I walked out the door, I could check in on Jer one more time before he went to bed.


	9. Want

### Jeremy's POV

I had managed a whole week of normality, I ignored thoughts about Damon and didn't even look into my lost week, even though it was killing me. I had even been more cautious. Although I couldn't find any liquid vervain to drink I did find a small stem of the plant. It was perfect. I taped it to the inside of the protection ring so, just in case someone managed to remove the vervain bracelet, I couldn't be compelled. I couldn't help chuckle at that. My life completely depended on a plant and some jewellery.

I continued with school and, finally, everyone was going back to normal around me. As of yesterday I was a free man and no longer under house arrest. Jenna went to celebrate that with a night out after complaining that making sure I didn't sneak out was more hassle than it was worth.

She was going out with Ric which I thought was a wonderfully sweet thing at first until she said that she was going to let him down gently. I felt bad for him, she was dumping my teacher because there were too many secrets. I wondered if he would tell her the truth but she would probably run out of the bar screaming. Either because vampires are real or she was sat next to a delusional madman.

I sighed as I threw my tea into the oven. I would say that I needed a girlfriend but I was really unlucky on that front. The only two women I had been with for any length of time had died, securely putting me off relationships for life. Elena was also out with her boyfriend, I wasn't jealous, I was just really sexually frustrated seeing as I had been sleeping alone for the last year.

As soon as the meal was cooked I pulled it out of the oven and sat in the living room with it. I stuck on a film, seeing nothing else to do and enjoyed the quick meal as I saw people being brutally murdered on the screen.

I didn't even finish watching the film and the interesting bit seemed to be over so I flicked it off and went upstairs, happy to shower and maybe do some drawing, it had been a while since I had done anything but doodle.

I walked straight over to my table and turned on the small lamp that illuminated the table below it. It also cast a reflection in the window and I saw something move behind me. Running completely on reckless reflex I picked up the pencil below me and swung around to confront the trespasser.

His blue eyes shone in the dim light as they bore into mine, his pupils blown wide with what could only be lust. His black hair looked so soft and contrasted his beautifully pale skin. Against everything my mind screamed at me to run, to fight. I dropped my crude weapon, totally lost in the way he looked at me.

“Damon?” He stepped closer until our bodies were inches from touching. He brought one hand up to cup my cheek as his thumb ran over my lips. I was frozen but not in shock. I was lost in his eyes, my body reacting to his closeness.

“Don't say anything, I just need this, just once.” He whispered, the desperation was so alien to his voice that I was shocked, before his lips came forward and captured mine in a soft, slow, sensual kiss.

I instantly found myself kissing back, lost in the feeling of his lips as they caressed mine. Soon his fingers wrapped themselves in my hair, guiding my mouth so the kiss deepened. My hands found his hips and I pulled us closer together, revelling in the feeling of him being so close to me. His tongue trailed across my lips, seeking entrance which I eagerly gave. My whole body pressed closer to him as our tongues danced and our lips moved together.

All I could think of was there and then. My tongue explored his mouth, memorising his taste and how his hands felt with one tangled in my brown locks and the other one cupping my face in a caring gesture. I didn't even care about how he got in here, not that he was a vampire or about the warning I had left on the video. I just wanted him so much.

I pulled back from the kiss, panting for breath. Damon just continued as his lips traced my jaw and moved down to my neck. My hand pushed under his shirt, desperate for the skin to skin contact but Damon seemed to know it wasn't enough and pulled back just long enough for him to pull my t-shirt over my head as I began to unbutton his shirt.

Once the restricting clothes had been removed I pulled him closer to him, the increasing tightness of my jeans making me impatient. Our lips met once again as Damon sucked and nibbled at my bottom lip, pulling a moan past my lips at the feeling.

I didn't even notice as he pulled me towards the bed, I was too engrossed in the feeling of his chest on mine, the way his tongue expertly explored my mouth and how his hands felt as they stroked and massaged my back. He pushed me back onto the bed, only breaking the contact for only a moment before he straddled my hips.

“You're so beautiful, Jer.” He whispered as his hands mapped the contours of my chest. “Can you feel what you do to me?” He ground his clothed erection into mine and we moaned in unison at the feeling.

His mouth lowered to my neck, lightly biting and sucking at the sensitive flesh until it was covered in red marks and I was holding back uncontrollable moans and whimpers. He worked his way down my body, leaving a kiss every few seconds before he took one of my nipples in his mouth. His tongue circled the nub and his hand came up to massage the other one. He continued to pinch and suck and the sensitive nipples, taking each one in turn, until I was moaning and writhing. He continued to move down and I was sure I felt a smirk against my skin from my reaction.

As he travelled lower my erection strained for release from the increasingly tightening jeans. My hands fisted at the sheets in anticipation as he finally reached the belt of my jeans but he carried on going, making me whimper in disappointment, until he was sat at the foot of the bed. I looked up to see him watch me with lust filled eyes as he removed my socks, making even that hot. I moaned at the sight as he slowly teased my body, sending every bit of skin he touched into a fiery oblivion I had never felt. I was so close already from his ministrations.

I realised my eyes had closed again when they shot open to the feeling of his body momentarily mould to mine as a light kiss was placed on my lips. I leaned forwards, trying to deepen the kiss but I just heard a light chuckle as he fully pulled away from me.

I looked up in panic, I didn't want him to leave but I instantly relaxed as I saw the view in front of me. He was stood, facing away from the bed as he slowly removed his tight, dark pants. I could only gawk as his ass was slowly revealed followed by his thighs and legs. When he finally turned to walk back I almost came in my pants.

He hadn't worn any boxers and I stared in wonder at the perfect view. His chest was perfectly sculpted. His muscles, though more lean than bulky, were well defined and his skin was pale and without blemishes.

Shyly my eyes travelled lower until they rested on his member. It was long and pink and curled up to his stomach as it grew from a bed of black hair. A small bead of pre-come was gathering at the tip. My mouth watered as I wondered how he would taste. I shifted uncomfortably, my equally excited length throbbed in my jeans and begged for release at the thought.

He playfully stalked back over to the bed, his dick bobbing enticingly as he moved. He easily straddled me again and resumed kissing my mouth. I didn't know how he could control himself so well, I was ready to burst as he leisurely sucked on my tongue and drove me crazy. I was growing impatient of his pace and tried to hurry him up. I grabbed his hips and ground the bulge that still resided in my pants into his hard dick.

I was rewarded with a deep moan into my mouth before he growled and stiffened above me. He pulled back and sharply looked away from me. My heart stuttered at his reaction, what had I done wrong? His excited gasps had become deep and measured breaths as he held himself away from me.

I didn't know if I was being brave or stupid as I reached up and turned his face until his eyes unwillingly met mine. I smiled then, he wasn't having second thoughts, quite the opposite. His eyes were coal black, each vein that lead to the area were darkening and I could just see the points of his fangs out of his slightly agape mouth.

I had learnt with Anna that fangs coming out meant a vampire was very excited . . . and I was about to get bitten if Damon couldn't get himself under control. Against my better judgement I pulled him back in for a rough kiss, my tongue swirling around the points of the deadly sharp teeth. His reaction was instantaneous. His body pulled closer to mine, almost crushing me as our mouths met in a clash of teeth and tongues.

My whole body was desperate for oxygen but I never wanted to break apart from him. When we finally did it was Damon who pulled away. He travelled back down my body and began to undo my belt without hesitation. He quickly removed the confining pants, leaving me just in my boxers. He nuzzled at the tent for a minute, letting out an almost inaudible moan to echo each one of mine. My straining cock was finally released, twitching as it was hit by the cool air in the room.

He sat up to see me fully naked and I blushed and looked down self-consciously.

“Don't worry, pretty boy, you look delicious.” He chuckled.

My hips bucked involuntarily as I felt the hot, wet muscle lick up the bottom of my shaft, sending pleasant shocks up through my body. I was hoping that he had lost the fangs because that would definitely cross the line between very hot vampire and very fucking scary.

He was on top of me again, so fast that I couldn't see it. He looked at me, his eyes were unsure even though he was shaking with the effort of not biting me. I made his decision for him as I latch my mouth to his for the second time and pushed my tongue against the sharp edge of his fang. Although it was a tiny scratch I could taste the blood and soon the vampire was eagerly sucking on my tongue and frotting against me, eliciting moan after moan from both of us that were muffled in our mouths.

I was desperate for release by the time he pulled away but the weight of his body held me down and denied me the orgasm I needed.

“You sure” He whispered into my ear before nibbling at it, making it hard to think through the cloud of pleasure that consumed me.

“Please, Damon. I need-Please.” I gasped and pleaded, not caring how I sounded. It felt so good.

He moaned at my wanton display. “Since you asked so nicely.” He murmured back.

He sucked at the pulse point on my neck for a moment before I could feel the two pricks in my skin. The pain was there for a second until it gave way to complete and total bliss. Just at that moment Damon reached down between us and grabbed my neglected cock. My head fell back into the mattress and I came after just a few strokes; the feeling of my blood being sucked from me and the stimulation was too much.

Damon greedily sucked and licked until the wound stopped bleeding and pulled back, seemingly disappointed that he had to stop.

“Enjoy that?” He asked me as I was still coming round from the effects of the strong orgasm.

“Hell yeah.” I managed to gasp.

He smiled back and kissed me quickly before, yet again disappearing to the foot of the bed. I watched gleefully as he began to lick away any come from my belly and softening member, sending twitches through the over sensitized nerves. His mouth travelled lower and sucked and massaged my balls with his mouth. His hands rearranged my legs and I allowed him to spread my legs wider. I jumped as I felt a finger move across my puckered hole.

“Wait.” I whispered, knowing he would hear me. Between the nerves and the things he was making me feel I didn't think I could say anything more than that anyway. He immediately lifted his head to look at me and raised an eyebrow in question.

When I didn't answer he moved back up until he was facing me. “Do you want this?” He wasn't messing, it was a real question, like he actually cared. I nodded, I wanted him more than anything at that moment. There was one thing making me nervous, though.

“I-I've never . . . umm.” I mumbled as I blushed bright red.

“Never been with another man before?” He finished for me when I couldn't speak. I just nodded shyly again. I didn't mind losing my 'guy-virginity' to Damon, it was that he was . . . big and I didn't want it to hurt, I had experimented with a finger or two but this was very different. “Don't worry, we'll take it slow and if you are at all uncomfortable just say stop and I will, okay?” I smiled and relaxed again, his words putting my mind at ease.

“Do you have lube?” he asked suddenly.

“Bottom drawer, back left corner.” I remembered. He reached down and grabbed it quickly.

“Always makes things a bit easier.” He babbled. That sentence instantly made me jealous. Of course he had been with other people but thinking about it made the emotion tear through me so strongly that I never wanted anyone else to touch him ever again.

My thoughts came to a standstill as I felt a lubed finger probe at my entrance. It was surprisingly warm and I could only think that he had taken the time to warm to cool lube in his fingers. I managed to relax quickly around the first one but I tensed up as he tried to insert another finger into me.

“Just relax.” He whispered calmingly. He began to rub my thigh soothingly until I relaxed enough for the next finger. He pumped the digits in and out of me slowly and I could only feel an easily ignorable burn at first until I was quickly moving against him, the feeling of his fingers filling me had made me hard and needing once again.

He began to move his fingers until he found that spot inside me that made me cry out with pleasure.

“Do that again.” I ordered him and soon felt constant waves of pleasure as he rubbed and massaged around the sensitive area. I was fucking myself on his fingers, moaning shamelessly. I didn't notice as another finger was added, lost in the endless bliss I was receiving.

All too soon the fingers were removed. I cried out at the sudden emptiness, wanting him back in me.

“Ready?” He whispered next to me. I couldn't remember him moving back up the bed but I didn't dwell on it. He used his arms to spread my legs as wide as possible, revealing my loosened hole to him. I tried to relax like he told me as I felt something much larger press against my hole. I nodded jerkily, not trusting my voice. I held onto his shoulders as tightly as I could as he slowly pushed past the ring of muscle. I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes as a painful burning spread through my ass.

The tears were quickly kissed away by Damon's mouth that travelled across my lips and neck in an attempt to distract me from the pain. After what seemed like hours, and with a few strained apologies, he was fully inside of me. The pain was nowhere near as bad as what I expected and it was hastily retreating to the pleasant full feeling and the stimulation to the raw nerves inside my channel.

I experimentally flexed around his length, earning a half growl, half moan that was muffled into my neck. He rolled his hips,unable to stop himself from moving and it was bliss. The feeling of being so full and I had never been so hard in my life.

“Move.” I managed to gasp out and he immediately thrust into me, unable to hold back for another second. His movements were slow at first, allowing me to get used to the feeling as he aimed for the small bundle of nerves. Each time he found it I couldn't help but cry out and soon we found a rhythm.

My need for release was slowly building until I couldn't control the endless string of moans and pleas for release. His hand wrapped around my member, pumping it as he pushed harder and faster into me frantically. I came first, crying out Damon's name and holding on to him tightly as I was drowned by waves and waves of pleasure. He quickly followed me, biting down hard on my neck as his orgasm hit, filling me with his white seed.

I didn't know how long we lay there, neither did I care as I panted and shook from the most powerful orgasm I ever had. Damon slowly pulled out his softening cock and cuddled closer into me, still sucking and licking at the new wound he had created.

It was inevitable, him finally pulling away from me. I wanted him to stay, to sleep at my side. It was a stupid fantasy, one that wouldn't come true and so I said nothing as he untangled himself from me. I could feel my heart plummet as he searched around for his clothes but I didn't let it show. I wouldn't let myself love him, if I let him go now then I knew I was strong enough to reject him if there was ever a next time.

I wanted to punch myself when my heart soared at his return with his shirt. He cleaned me quickly and efficiently, removing the semen and small amounts of blood before doing himself and crawling back into the bed and pulling the sheets over us.

“Get some sleep, Jer.” He mumbled tiredly as he curled himself around me again, burying his head into my chest. He looked too cute when he did that and I couldn't help but smile idiotically to myself before wrapping my arms around his torso and succumbing to the darkness of sleep, never wanting to let him go.


	10. Need

###    
Damon's POV

I sighed deeply as I stared down at the pages in front of me. I couldn't remember the things that I did to pass the time before Jeremy. I spent all of my time either watching out for him or worrying about him. At the moment I was worrying about him but I couldn’t risk going to find him now, he was at school and I was guaranteed to be seen so I had decided to pass the time de-cluttering my room.

It was something I had never done before, I either had someone else to do it, didn't spend enough time here to clutter it or just didn't keep anything. After a week of moping in here, I had accumulated a pile of stuff just waiting to be thrown away. I had got rid of most of it already, all that was left were a few of my more favoured books, the TV which needed to go and the thing that had made me stop.

Jeremy's sketchpad was taunting me, reminding me of what I wanted to do. I wanted to go and see him. Now. Instead I just let myself abandon my cleaning and stared at the pages in front of me. I couldn't help wanting him, no matter how wrong it was and I had never needed him more than at that moment.

I looked at my clock; 5.30. He would easily be home by now, at least the cleaning had distracted me. I tried to stay there, I couldn't go to him now or I would end up doing something I would regret. But he would be home alone, I knew Jenna would be dying for a night out after making sure Jeremy remained grounded. I felt like crying in pure frustration. Why did he do this to me?

I found myself going to the house, whether I wanted to or not. 'Just once' I told myself and then I could be rid of this fiery attraction, it would be out of my system and I could finally leave him alone.

I could hear Jer in his room and I shuddered at the familiarity of the scene but this time it would be different. I could prove that I could be different, even if it was to myself. I couldn't let Jer remember this.

I climbed through the window, moving to stand behind Jeremy, waiting for him to turn around. He turned to face me, grabbing a weapon as the paranoid boy prepared to fight me. The fight in his eyes was replaced by confusion as he dropped his weapon.

“Damon?”

He was stood there, ready, waiting for me and I couldn't resist. I stepped forwards, giving in. I just needed him so much.

* * *

 

I didn't want to move, the moment was perfect. Jeremy's long warm arms wrapped around me protectively as I snuggled into his chest, enjoying the irresistible scent and listening to the steady heart beat that could only belong to Jer. Only the slow deep breathing betrayed that he was deeply asleep.

I sighed contently. I didn't want the regret to hit me just yet, I knew it would, I had broken my promise. I had fucked him! After what I did to him I still wanted him. I was disgusting. Why couldn't I just control myself, just this once? He was fine, he didn't need me here, he didn't need me at all.

I don't know what came over me in those insane moments at home but I just thought it wouldn't matter, as long as he wanted it I could finally get this ridiculous need for him out of my system. Just once, I had thought, then I could move on.

I couldn't believe the way he welcomed me with open arms, so oblivious to what I had done. I took advantage of it, craving every touch, enjoying every moan that reached my ears as I played with his sensitive body. I couldn't even care to think about how wrong it was, not when he stared at me with his deep brown eyes, wordlessly trusting me.

I wanted to make it good for him, like I could make up for the last time. He made me so weak, I couldn't even stop myself from biting him and it tasted even better knowing that he willingly gave it to me. The way he was with me, never holding back and driving me crazy at one point and then he would hold me carefully like I was breakable.

I felt the stirring in my groin at the thought of his sweet moans and how tight he was around me. I pulled back from the body wrapped around me, snapping out of my thoughts, too ashamed to let him see me again. I quickly dressed and walked back over to him. Unfortunately, he couldn't remember this, it couldn't happen again and it wasn't fair for me to just use him.

I unclipped the bracelet from his wrist, hating myself for this.

“Jer, wake up.” I whispered in his ear. “Jeremy!” I muttered a bit louder when I didn't get a response. Slowly he stirred and his eyes instantly fell on mine. He jumped up and smiled widely.

“I thought you'd just leave.” He whispered, his voice full of hope.

“I'm sorry.” I whispered. I wasn't sure what it was for, that night, what I had just done or what I was about to do but it didn't matter, soon I would have done it all.

“What do you mean?” He asked, confused.

I didn't speak, I just sat across from him and held his face. I leaned forwards, bringing him into a slow kiss. He instantly melted into me, his tongue running over my sensitive teeth. I pulled back, not letting it get any further.

“Have you done this before?” He asked as he rubbed his now bare wrist. “Made me forget?”

“No.” I lied, smiling at how quickly he had worked out what I was doing. He didn't speak after that and just sat sadly and looked straight at me as I compelled him, not even fighting me.

“This didn't happen.” I whispered sadly as I stared into his confused eyes. “You went upstairs, went to bed and this was just a dream.”

“It was just a dream.” He choked out.

I didn't notice the strange way he was acting, I was too engrossed in my own sorrow, had I done the right thing by letting him remember it? Even if it was just a dream I would be making him think he liked me more. I kissed him for one last time before slipping the bracelet back on him and disappearing out of the window for the last time, this time it had to be.

* * *

 

“Where were you last night?” Stefan asked as soon as I made it through the door. It was the early hours of the morning and I had spent most of the night trying to calm down enough to achieve an indifferent demeanour.

“I'm not a kid, Stefan, I can go out whenever I want to.” I drawled tiredly, trying to appear bored.

I wanted to get out of the room as fast as possible, even I could still smell Jeremy on me and I didn't want Stefan finding anything out. I stormed past him, aiming for the stairs but he cut me off. He opened his mouth to say something but paused mid-breath.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he took another hesitant breath that made his nostrils flare.

“Where were you last night?” He asked again. It was obvious he had pieced it together. Actually there was nothing to piece together, I smelt of sex and Jeremy. It was a bit obvious.

“Nowhere. Nothing happened. It is not going to happen again.” I growled and pushed past him.

“Why are you doing this to yourself?” I heard him whisper as I retreated up the stairs. I was wondering the same thing.

I headed straight for the shower when I reached my room, needing a distraction from everything. I stripped quickly and stepped under the spray, sighing as the hot water hit my skin. I didn't care if I knew it was wrong, it had been worth it, seeing his face contort with pleasure as I pushed into his tight hole. Just thinking about him made me want to go back there. I was getting harder by the second. So much for the idea of getting it out of my system.

I curled a fist around my member, lazily pumping it as I felt the spray run all over my skin. I steadied myself with a hand on the tiles as I jerked myself faster, letting thoughts about Jer run wild. My hand flew up and down my shaft as I imagined his soft lips wrap around my cock. I didn't let any noises pass my lips, knowing it would be his name.

I soon toppled over the edge but I was left unfulfilled and needing more. My imagination just didn't compare to the real thing. I cleaned and dried myself methodically, keeping a boring chain of thoughts in my head in an attempt to avoid any thoughts about Jeremy.

I climbed into my bed, utterly exhausted. I hadn't gotten any sleep in the Gilbert's bed, I had been too busy trying to remember the way he felt next to me. I was turning into a hopeless romantic . . . It didn't matter as long as nobody knew.

I, thankfully, fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow, all of my dreams forgotten by the next time I woke.

* * *

 

It was late afternoon by the time I woke up, feeling more refreshed than I had in a while. I knew the cause of my good mood but didn't let it stop me, everything was finally sorted. I could move on, get on with my life.

To make things even better Katherine wasn't anywhere to be seen, leaving me alone to enjoy a drink in peace. I was interrupted by my phone going off moments later, forcing me to get up and search for it.

The caller Id said it was Alaric and I considered ignoring it for a moment before answering, I really was too nice sometimes.

“This is the person who does not give a fuck about your problems, how can I not help you?”

“I need your help, Damon.”

“Did, you just ignore every word I just said?”

“It's important, please, you know I wouldn't ask it it wasn't.”

“Fine. Where are you?” I gave in all too easily. He sounded desperate for help anyway and I was in an all too giving mood.

“The Grill, see you in five minutes.” He said before putting his phone down, not even giving me time to answer. Of course he was at The Grill, he practically lived there when he wasn't at school. I'd never even seen his house.

I saw him straight away, sat on a table in the corner with a pile of papers and a half empty glass of whiskey. I walked over to him completely unnoticed by the teacher.

“I think you have a drinking problem.” He jumped back, torn away from whatever essay held his interest. I sat down across from him and almost immediately a glass was placed next to me.

“Thanks.” I absent-mindedly said to the waitress that had given me the drink.

“Says you, you drink so much you get a drink as soon as you walk through the door!” He scowled for a moment before staring at me in disbelief. “Are they compelled to do that?” I smiled, only two were but it definitely was helpful, I didn't even have to pay.

“I thought this was urgent.” I said, deliberately avoiding his question.

“I need your help.”

“I got that bit.”

“There has been lots of unusual killings in a nearby town. Everything I could get my hands on says vampire.” He handed me the papers off the table. One was a police report and some post-mortems. It was obviously the MO of a vampire, even if they were sloppy but there was something off about Alaric, he rarely went looking for a fight, with the exception of me.

“Why are we doing this?”

“You killed Elijah almost three weeks ago! Don't you think this Klaus guy is going to show up an time soon? We need to follow any lead we have!”

“Look, Ric, as far as I can tell the guy was made up. If he wasn't he would have tried to kill all of us in our sleep by now but I know that's not the reason you want to do this, what is it?”

“I need your help killing the bastard. I don't have a protection ring any more and I need your help.” He was starting to sound slightly scary now, the only vampire he had ever been hell-bent on killing was me.

“What's wrong with you?”

“Nothing, I just can't let more people die when I have the ability to stop it.”

“Seriously, why are we doing this?” I was digging my heels in, trying to get an answer. He was obviously obsessing over this because of something.

“I just need to take my mind off a few things for a little while.”

“What would 'a few things' be?” I smirked as he stared at me in the if looks could kill fashion.

“Jenna broke up with me. I really miss her and it's driving me crazy! Are you happy? Can we go now?” He growled before swallowing the last of his drink. My head turned almost on instinct when I heard a familiar voice as the person walked in through the doors.

I couldn't make out what was being said over the sound of talking and music but he was talking to two other guys and all of them seemed agitated. He looked up, like he knew he was being watched and his eyes met mine. Both of us stared, I couldn't bring myself to look away. My breathing hitched as I stared at him, the need for him making itself present once again.

Jeremy blushed and looked away, giving me time to get out of there. I grabbed Alaric by the elbow and almost dragged him out of the building, ignoring his feeble protests. As soon as we made it outside he pulled away from me.

“Who are you avoiding?”

“We are not starting on my problems.” I chuckled. “Are we going or not?”

* * *

 

Alaric already had an idea of where the vampire was hiding out and it didn't take us too long to get to the town.

“So where are we headed for first?” I asked. We had spent most of the journey planning with me repeatedly asking why I agreed to this stupid idea. It was completely dark outside now, the perfect time to find a vampire out in the open. I smiled, this was absolutely absurd.

“Abandoned building, within a 2 mile radius of all of the kill spots. It's on the next left.”

I followed his directions and soon enough we made it to the house. There were other houses around, many of them large and grand but this one stood out in it's obvious state of disrepair. The paint was peeling and the lawn around it was an overgrown jungle.

“Do you think he's in?” Alaric asked from beside me.

“There's only one way to find out.” I huffed and got out of the car, soon followed by Alaric as he fiddled with his arsenal of weapons.

I walked into the house easily and didn't know whether to take it as a good or bad sign. I began to understand why I had been brought along, it was even darker inside the house. Not even the glow of the moon reached the halls and my vision was significantly better than the teacher's.

The electricity worked and I could hear the almost silent hum of the refrigerator in the corner of the kitchen.

I opened it, already anticipating what was inside. “Blood bags and cheap beer. How original. At least we know we got the right place.” I muttered, slamming the door in disgust. “Who can even stomach drinking that?”

“The blood bags?” He asked, confused.

“No! The beer, it's tasteless, sickening, smells horrible and leaves a terrible after-taste.” I shuddered and wrinkled my nose in distaste.

“You're really-” His sentence was cut off as a voice called from the front door.

“Hey, what are you doing in here?” Someone snarled, their voice was enough to warn anyone that trespassed.

“I'll go right. You stay here.” Ric whispered and disappeared.

“Umm, Ric what do I do if he gets too close?” I whimpered as I heard the footsteps get closer.

I took a step back and stumbled and he took the bait, racing forward to seize me as I flailed defencelessly.

“Now!” I cried as I felt the first hand grab me.

Alaric appeared at the other side of the room, his gun aimed and ready. He shot three times without hesitation and the man fell to the ground, panting and moaning in pain. The teacher walked over, his stake ready to finish the job.

“Wait!” I held a hand up and he stopped next to me. “Did you kill the people?” I asked the vampire as he tried to pull himself up.

“I am going to fucking kill you!” The vampire snarled.

“Can I kill him now?” Alaric asked impatiently.

I stepped back, it was obvious he was alone and was the one killing the people anyway. That was all I was trying to find out. Ric rammed the stake into his heart efficiently, immediately killing him.

“That guy was an idiot! I didn't think it would actually work.”

“Ric.”

“Yes?” He panted as he pulled the stake out of the corpse.

“I am officially scared of you.”

“Thanks.” He beamed, deeming it an achievement. “Now lets go before someone reports the gunshots.”


	11. Fight

### Jeremy's POV

I sat on the bed, unable to move. My mouth had hung open for so long that it was dry and uncomfortable but I didn't notice. I was stuck in my own head, trying to make sense of the night. He had been so kind and gentle, showing the side of him that no one got to see, the side he swore he didn't have.

The night had been wonderful, each touch sending me to a new level of passion, it was the love making worthy of a romance novel and for a moment I believed he could be like that. We could be like that.

I was wrong. He had tried to make me forget. To make it so that the night had never happened. I was just an easy lay, a way to get rid of the stress. I was sure he had done it before, no matter what he said. Were all those dreams I had about him real? Had he made me forget those too?

Was that what I had warned myself about, him using me? It was strange. He had been so gentle and caring in a way that I had never seen him. Maybe that was why he tried to make me forget, so I wouldn't know how he really felt. That he really felt.

My whole body tensed and twitched, sick of being still. I wanted answers. What was really going on with him? I played the video, not knowing what to do and hoping for answers but I was still there, saying the same words that had almost memorised. None of them helped, none gave me the answers I needed.

My hand reached out to the screen like I could touch myself, learn the answers but he finished talking and the screen went blank.

“Jeremy, are you still up?” Jenna called from the other side of the door. I jumped up and dived into my bed, pulling the covers over me. I had totally forgotten about anyone else.

“Now I am.” I groaned tiredly, managing to sound like I had just been woken.

“Oh! Sorry!” She chuckled. “I didn't think you were asleep!”

“Don't worry about it, goodnight.” She said a quick reply of 'night' and went to her room. Then it struck me. 'I'm sorry'. Those words he had said. I didn't know their meaning, until now. He was sorry, whatever he did he had apologised.

That just left me back where I had started. What had he done?

\-----

The night passed slowly and I didn't sleep. I had been up all night wondering, trying to work out every angle and it had proved impossible. All I could do was continue to ignore him, no matter how much I didn't want to.

I got dressed in a tired daze. I had to wear a jumper, even though it was too warm for one outside. None of the t shirts I had covered the hickeys and bite marks that painted my neck. I shivered with desire as I touched them, knowing that he had put them there. I didn't know what I would have thought of them if I had been compelled.

The day was going to be hard, I had school and it was my worst day. I had double maths, chemistry and geography with absolutely no interesting lessons in between. What made it worse was the uncomfortable pain in my ass. Literally. Every time I moved my muscles would protest with a dull sting.

It didn't hurt too much, it was the cause of the pain that stopped me. Every time I moved it would remind me of last night and I would get a bit of a problem. In maths was the worst. I was on my second hour and I was just staring at the dirty wall. The colour must have been white at one point but now it was just a mucky cream colour with specks of brown.

The endless lecture of the teacher was sending me to sleep. His voice was slow and bored, the teacher had perfected the tiring monotone, making it even worse. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair in an attempt to get comfortable but my butt burned and sent me back to the thoughts of the night before.

This happened every few minutes and I was left hard and frustrated. I couldn't even do anything about it without anyone noticing. I shifted again, trying to will away the arousal. I managed the opposite, the sensitive area rubbed against my boxers and I sighed deeply at the feeling. Several heads turned as I broke the collective silence from the students that surrounded me. I blushed and buried my head in a book, only four more hours to go.

“Mr. Gilbert, can you explain to me what an isotope is?” The teacher's voice pulled me out of my daydreaming. I hadn't managed to pay attention all day and on top of that I had missed school for a week (and not for the first time) and so I had no idea what he was talking about.

“I don't know, Sir.”

“Then surely you could tell the difference between a Hydrogen and Helium atom?”

“No, Sir.” I grumbled again. Why of all of the people not listening did he have to pick me?

“And why would that be?” He asked as he walked over to his desk and pulled out a pen.

“I don't know.” I snapped at him, we both knew I wasn't listening, why did he want me to admit it? We also both knew what was happening next when his pen began to fly over the paper as he wrote.

“It was because you were not paying attention in my class, which I don't take kindly to.” He said as he walked over and slammed the paper onto my desk. “I expect you back here at the end of school.” He finished just as he bell went. I was thankful that I didn't have to stay there for another minute. I stuffed all of my work into my bag and rushed out of the door.

\-----

I sighed as I walked down the street as fast as I could. I had finally escaped the prison of school and was on my way home when I had realised I was being followed. I usually wouldn't be bothered by it. It was obvious they were two jocks from my school, no matter how hard they tried to stay out of my sight.

They had probably stayed behind for football practice and seen me leave. It was just my luck really, people usually left me alone unless they were in a foul mood or they wanted 'stuff'. It was interesting what the supposed 'stars' would do at a party.

They were getting closer, I didn't know what they wanted but it couldn't be good. I ducked round a corner, knowing it led to a main street. Even if I didn't lose them they couldn't do anything with people around. They hurried behind me and one ducked ahead, cutting me off.

“Aren't you Elena's kid brother? The pothead, right?” One asked, getting right up in my face. “We heard that you got to Tyler. Put him on your shit and then he magically disappeared.” He sneered.

“Just fuck off.” I said calmly, I didn't want to put up with this. I tried to push past him but he didn't move.

“Just like what you did with Vicki, isn't it. You little freak.” The other said from behind me.

“Shut Up.” I shouted at them, finally losing my temper. I pushed the first one, making him fall back and ran to some sort of cover. Of course I ended up at the Grill, I walked in, trying not to attract any attention and was closely followed by my two abusers.

The restaurant was quite busy for a week day with students meeting around the pool table and adults gossiping over drinks or snacks. The buzz of chattering and the constant flow of movement made it easier to blend into the background.

“I told you to fuck off.” I whispered at them, not wanting anyone to notice what was going on.

“Or what? You're going to kill me like you did your girlfriend.”

I was ready to hit him. I looked away, trying to calm down and instantly regretted it. Damon was staring at me, his eyes locking with mine. He never looked away with embarrassment, instead he waited, never even blinking as he stared at me intensely.

A jab to my ribs brought me back to reality. “Is that your boyfriend?” The jock sneered in my ear. I blushed, realising how much I wanted that to be true. I looked back over and Damon was gone.

That was the final straw. I dived on him, even though he was much larger than me, and tackled him to the ground. I managed to hit him in the face a few times before I was dragged off by an unknown person. I looked back at him, there was blood on his face where I had managed to bust his nose and split his lip. I smirked at him, proud of the damage I had caused.

The man looked at me, his glare promising revenge. I went for him again but the limbs that held me tightened, keeping me from the jock.

“Hey, calm down man!” Matt was there in front of me, one hand holding me on the chest whilst the other did the same with the second man. We had attracted a crowd with a few people looking over the man I had attacked, others looked on with concern whilst others waited for the fight to continue with excitement.

When I thought this couldn't get much worse Sheriff Forbes walked over to us. Everyone stepped away from me automatically, like it was a crime to be associated with the offender. She gave me a disapproving look before talking to the second of the bullies, the one that wasn't putting on a show of rolling around on the floor holding his face.

“What happened?” She ordered him.

“We just came in here and this idiot started saying shit about us! When Jack tried to calm him down he flipped and attacked him.” The jock lied, acting scared. I almost laughed at his pitiful acting. How could he be scared of me? He was twice the size of me.

“Right, thank you. Make sure your friend gets checked out and I will talk to him later.” She said and motioned for me to follow her. We walked out into the car park in complete silence. She turned when we reached the car and the look sent a shiver down my spine even thought it was considerably warm out.

“Care to tell me your side of the story, Mr. Gilbert?” She asked me. “And be quick, I have the charity auction tomorrow night and we still haven't set up the marquee and Carol needs help with the caterers.”

“Them two dicks were following me and saying shit about Vicki! I couldn't just take it.” I sighed, just thinking about it got me wound up again.

“Just relax, Jeremy, or I'll have to take you to the station. Just get in the car and I'll take you home.” I took a deep, soothing breath and jumped into the back. Worse had happened.

\-----

The ride was short and soon I was looking out of the window at my house. The swing seat rocked calmly on the porch under the gentle wind, looking out of place to me as the burning anger lingered in me. Sheriff Forbes opened the door and walked me up to the front of the house, making me feel like a degraded child.

Jenna answered the door after the first few knocks with a warming smile on her face. It was gone almost immediately when she saw me and the sheriff at the door, instantly presuming the worst.

“Inside, Jeremy, now.” I reluctantly walked past her, purposefully staying within hearing range of the conversation.

“How much trouble is he in?” Jenna asked and I knew she would've snapped if it hadn't been the sheriff, she seemed really really annoyed with me.

“He just got into a small spat, I'll make sure that there will be no charges pressed. It was just a few kids messing about and a few unpleasant words were exchanged and it got out of hand.”

“Thanks, I'm sure Jeremy would be happy to tell me exactly what happened. I hope you have a nice afternoon.”

“You too, Jenna.” The door was shut behind the officer quickly and she turned to me.

“What did you do?” She accused me, assuming it had been worse than what the sheriff had told her.

“It was exactly what Sheriff Forbes said it was, a little nothing that got out of hand.” For me that was a lie, they had hit a sore spot with me and it meant a lot. They had deserved more. Vicki hadn't been exactly perfect but she had meant a lot to me.

Aunt Jenna walked over to me, she tried to do it discretely but it was obvious that she was looking for any signs I was on any drugs again, it was really starting to get old. After a moment she backed down.

“Fine but I need you to help out for the charity thing tomorrow, somehow Elena dragged me into it. Deal?” She held out a hand.

“Deal.” I smiled and shook it. I didn't mind seeing the rest of them and Caroline, Bonnie and Stefan were guaranteed to be there.

I went upstairs, I had been avoiding Elena lately. When she looked at me it was a mixture of pity and confusion and it frustrated me. It was like she knew what had happened and couldn't look at me the same any more.

There was one simple way to both calm me down and to sort out my seemingly constant horniness. I searched around in my drawer, looking for my favourite sketchpad. I was still looking five minutes later. I could've sworn I had left it on my desk or at least in a drawer.

Ten minutes later all of my stuff was all over the floor and I still hadn't found it. I would be dead if Jenna or Elena looked inside it.

“Jenna!” I shouted. “Have you seen a black book?”

“What?” She asked, walking into my room to see me with most of the stuff in my room all over the floor.

“I'm looking for a small black book. Have you seen it?”

“Urr . . . No. Was it necessary to tear your room apart?” She asked as she bent down to pick up the item nearest to her. I jumped up and tried to snatch it away from her hands but she had already stood up and pulled away from me.

She opened the packet, it had once been plentiful but now there was just a few items left that exposed what I had stored in there.

“What is this?” She demanded, throwing the bag into my arms.

“It's nothing, I swear. I forgot I even had it!”

“Really? Then what is it doing here nearly empty?”

“I-I-That doesn't prove anything.” I objected.

“I'm really disappointed, Jer.” She said with a sigh.

“I didn't do anything!”

“Right, of course you didn't.” She mocked me sarcastically.

“But I didn't!”

“I thought I could trust you! This time you are grounded and will have to prove to me that I can trust you.”

“That's not fair!”

“What's not fair is that you are throwing your life away!” She said before grabbing it back off of me and leaving the room, slamming the door behind her.

\-----

One day and I was tired of it. I had had a few days of freedom before I was grounded yet again, for nothing! I was really beginning to dislike this new, super-Aunt Jenna. I had less freedom that last time. I was picked up and dropped off at school by either Jenna or Elena and wasn't even allowed out of the house for this stupid charity auction.

“Jeremy, can you please help me with the last of these boxes for the auction?” I got up and grabbed the first one, dumping into the car without a word. I was going for either the 'feel sorry and let me off' or 'perfect behaviour and can be trusted' feel but nothing worked. I had tried time and time again to tell her that I had done nothing but she hadn't believed me.

“Jenna, how are we going to make sure he doesn't sneak out while we're gone?” Elena asked not so subtly as she set another box into the back of the car. Jenna was leaning against the vehicle, ticking against a piece of paper as every box was placed in the car.

“I'm thinking a babysitter, I can't back out of it now, Carol would kill me.” She sighed in annoyance.

I slammed the next box down with a bit too much force and stalked away from them. I was sick of them treating me like a kid.

Stefan drove up in his car, parking it just in front of ours. I smiled and gave him a half wave which he responded to with a nod.

“Are we ready to go?” He asked Elena after they shared a short, sweet kiss.

“Just one more box.” She smiled at him.

“Don't worry, I'll get it.” Stefan said cheerily and went inside to get it, helpful as always.

“Right, I think I have everything organised!” Jenna praised herself. “All I need to do is find someone to look after you.” She tapped her pen against the clipboard as she thought and sighed each time a possibility was lost. Stefan walked back out and put the cardboard box with the rest.

“What's your brother doing tonight, Stefan?” Jenna asked.

“I'm not sure, why?”

“Well, Jer has proved to us that he cannot be trusted on his own and needs to be watched constantly. Unfortunately, we're all busy tonight and I was wondering if he could keep an eye on him. Just for a few hours?”

“You know, Damon's probably busy doing Damon-stuff. We shouldn't bother him.” Elena cut in.

“You should ask him, he might say yes.” Stefan conflicted her, giving her a look that told her not to interrupt.

“Right, I'll be back in a minute. I need to grab my phone.”

“I'm not even going to ask how you got his number.” Elena sniggered.

“Hey, I thought it would come in useful!” We all watched as she walked into the house. The moment she was gone from view Elena exploded.

“What are you doing? You know what Damon's like, we can't trust him around Jer!” She snapped at her boyfriend, forgetting I was right behind her.

“Just relax, he wouldn't agree to sitting in a house all night with Jeremy. He probably has something better to do.”

“But what if he agrees?”

“I think we made our point when telling him to stay away. He wouldn't be stupid enough to ignore every word you said.”

“You're right,” She sighed, “I'm sure we'll be fine.”


	12. Torture

### Damon's POV

I stretched out on my bed, soaking up the warm afternoon sun that poured in through my bedroom window. I smiled to myself, lost in happy daydreams before I was pulled from my thoughts by a loud ringing from the table at the side of my bed. I groaned and pulled myself up, grabbing the phone.

“Hello?” I answered, not even bothering to look at the Id.

“Damon, are you busy tonight?”

“I never saw you as the forward type, Jenna.” I teased jokingly, instantly recognising her voice.

“Ha ha,” She jeered sarcastically. “I have to help out at the charity auction tonight and Jeremy is grounded. I can't trust him to be home alone so I just thought, maybe you could . . . spend a few hours here tonight?” Her voice was questioning, hoping I would watch over her lost cause of a nephew.

It was just typical really, I wasn't quite over whatever I had felt for him but I was determined. I hadn't allowed myself to see him for a second after the moment in the Grill. I had felt way too many sickeningly fuzzy feelings. My thoughts were plagued with him, Jeremy was the exact thing I was thinking of before Jenna called. Sometimes I didn't even think of him sexually, all I wanted to do was hold (I wouldn't admit that I wanted to snuggle) him and talk and-I couldn't! I had promised to keep away and I wouldn't break that same promise twice.

I didn't know why it was so important to me. Usually, I wouldn't care about keeping a promise or being fair but I knew I owed him so much.

“I actually have something to do tonight.” I answered, trying to sound apologetic. If I spent any time near him it was obvious how it would end. Even if I said yes Stefan and Elena would kill me for daring to be in the same room as him.

“Please, Damon. I'm asking this as a favour from a friend. Just help me out just this once.”

“Friends? Well this is news to me. I thought you hated me.”

“Sometimes I hate your infatuation with Elena, otherwise you can be an alright guy.”

“Just a few hours?” I asked. I could hold out for that long and it was to help Jeremy. I smiled to myself at the thought of spending the night there and then forced it away. Nothing would happen tonight.

“Thanks! Can you be here at 7 and I think I'll be back by 11 at the very latest.”

“That's fine. I'll be there soon.”

“Thanks again, Damon.” She said before hanging up. I fell back onto the pillow and threw the phone away from me, not paying attention to where it had landed. I had an hour and a half before I had to be there and I was practically shaking in anticipation of seeing him.

I almost growled at myself. I was being stupid, he had no idea about what had happened and it wasn't going to happen again. I made my thoughts end there, I had nothing else to think about. I would never have Jeremy Gilbert.

I had a shower and changed before setting off to the house to make the time go a bit faster. I was there a bit early anyway and was greeted by the outraged glares from Stefan and Elena as they stood together on the porch.

“Stefan. Elena.” I greeted them hesitantly, passing it off as indifference as I pushed past and tried to get through the door without a scene. It didn't happen, obviously. Elena grabbed my wrist in a solid grip. I could pull free but I would probably hurt her. “Do you have a problem?”

“I thought we made it very clear that you are to stay away from my little brother.” She hissed menacingly, instantly reminding me of Katherine.

“I'm not scared of you, Elena. I don't want to be here but Jenna was persistent and I thought it would be a nice thing to do so back off!” Her grip loosened enough for me to pull away from her and I stalked off into the house to find Jenna, they wouldn't cause a scene around her.

I walked into the kitchen where I could hear the endless rustling and pattering of someone rushing around. I saw a flustered Jenna running around like a headless chicken. She had a clipboard in her had and she was moving backwards and forwards through the room collecting many insignificant looking items.

“Do you need any help?” I asked.

“Nope, I'm about done and you have already been a great help. Promising to look after Jer and all.” She panted and stood still for the first time, admiring her handiwork. “I thought I was done then I totally forgot that there was going to be a small show by the kids beforehand. I'm done now, though, totally sorted.”

I smiled at her and picked up one of the boxes. “I'm sure I can help you get these into the car.” I added helpfully, flashing her a kind smile. I hadn't seen Jer yet but just knowing that he was close had put me in a brilliant mood. I could smell his intoxicating fragrance throughout the house and I was quickly fighting down the blood-lust . . . and other lusts but I didn't mind, I could live with the discomfort.

Once the last of the boxes were in, Jenna got in the car. Elena and my brother had already left to help set up the area for the auction.

“Right, he hasn't had any tea yet so you can call the takeaway for pizza, there is cash on the kitchen counter. I will be back as soon as possible, eleven was a guess and I hope to be back sooner.”

“Buy pizza, back at eleven, look after Jeremy. I got it, I hope you have a wonderful night.” I finished and she took it as her cue to pull away.

I walked back into the house, hoping I could find Jeremy. If I had lost him already I wouldn't exactly be proving to be a good babysitter. I checked the living room first and was glad to find him sprawled across the sofa, almost hiding in a sea of cushions.

I walked up next to him and grabbed his legs, forcing them off the seat and unceremoniously fell down next to him. He hadn't looked at me once, his eyes were glued to the screen as he played. He was leaning forwards now as he sat on the edge of the sofa, as far away from me as possible.

I knew he wasn't that engrossed in the game he was playing. He seemed to be the opposite, never paying attention to the strange creatures that attacked him. I leaned back and smiled as he relaxed a bit. He was trying really hard not to look at me.

“So, Jeremy. Why are you stuck here?” I asked, curious.

“Does it matter?” He grunted, not turning around. At least he was talking to me.

"Look, I know neither of us want to be in this position,” Maybe in a different position with him on his knees- Don't think about it! “So lets just pretend to get along and have this night over with. Believe me, it will go much faster.”

“Fine.” He muttered and grabbed another controller. “I bet I can beat you.” He turned and gave me a quick smile as he passed it to me. I couldn't help the warm feeling in my chest and I frowned in distaste, I hated the way he made me feel.

I gave up a little while later after dying several times, he had well and truly beat me but I didn't mind. It was just a game.

“Jenna left us money for pizza.”

“Sounds great. You okay with pepperoni?”

“Sure.” He had slowly relaxed around me, not much but it was enough that I wasn't constantly paranoid that he knew something.

The pizza was at the door in ten minutes and was eaten even faster. Admittedly I had eaten more than my fair share, I was having cravings for something much better and when said person is sat right next to you it's kinda hard to resist.

I got popcorn as a snack afterwards, happily helping myself to it, and Jer just stared at me like I had grown a second head. Maybe I had eaten a lot but there was no need to stare. It was either that or snack on him.

\-----

I knew I wouldn't be able to stand the way he looked at me much longer. Every few minutes he would peek at me through those long lashes when he thought I wasn't looking. He looked over again as I took out a mob of zombies on the game we had resorted to playing to pass the time. It definitely made me feel better, I had always wondered why humans resorted to virtual violence.

He had been staring at me for a full minute now and I was having a hard time controlling the erection that I was busy hiding under the bag of popcorn and my controller. Nobody had ever had that kind of effect on me before. It was torture.

"Will you quit staring at me?" I hissed at him, feinting annoyance and turning back to the game. Jeremy paused it and I was about to object but the controller was ripped out of my hand.

Before I could turn around to glare at him the popcorn was gone and replaced by his warm body as he straddled me. I was really struggling to think with him so close to me, his lips inches away. I could smell his breath, he had just munched his way through a packet of cheesy crisps which didn't make it too appetising but I didn't care. All I needed to do was lean forwards-

“What do you think you're doing Jeremy?”

“It didn't work, Damon. I remember everything.” I froze. What did he mean by everything? Did he remember everything or what happened a few days ago?

“I don't know what you mean.” I said blandly but it didn't have the desired effect seeing as he was still on my lap and it was blatantly obvious we were both very aroused.

“I mean we had sex. Amazing words-cannot-describe sex!”

“Jer, are you sure you're not confusing me with someone else. Maybe you had a realistic dream.”

“Yeah, it was so realistic that I got these.” He snapped at me, pulling his jumper off and revealing his neck. It exposed a number of purple hickeys, two of which were paired with small bite marks. I held back a moan, he had no idea how hot he looked; baring his neck with the marks I'd already made calling out for me to do it again as he held me close. It would be so easy to take him.

“So? It happens,” I managed after a moment. “You weren't supposed to remember because exactly this would happen.” I also wasn't supposed to leave anything behind for people to notice. I could've gotten killed if he hadn't covered it up and someone had noticed. Just because of one moment of stupidity.

“Maybe I want it to happen again.” He whispered in my ear, his hot breath lingering on my skin.

"This is a bit stupid, don't you think kid? Even for you. What makes you think I even want to do this again. It was a spur of the moment thing. That moment has passed and if you don't get off me right now I will use force.”

"Are you sure? Because you're body is telling me something different." He whispered, his voice deep with lust as he brought his face even closer to mine, somehow not touching. He rolled his hips and his member brushed against mine. I barely managed to hold back the moan as my head fell back and my eyes hooded. I didn't know how it happened, how I had been reduced to being seduced by a sixteen year old boy but I didn't care. All that mattered was how he felt against me.

I would be lying if I said I had hesitated for even a moment when his lips touched mine. As soon as I felt his warm lips on mine I was kissing him back savagely. My hand tangled in his hair, bringing him deeper into the kiss. Our lips parted and my tongue explored his mouth, running against Jeremy's teeth and tongue and I was going regret this later but I didn't care.

I pulled him closer, fingers twisting in his hair whilst my other hand rubbed and massaged Jer's ass roughly through his jeans as he continued to move against me desperately. Neither of us could wait, not with the tension that had built up for so long.

He pulled my shirt over my head before kissing down my neck. He bit down sharply and I bucked into him and groaned in shock at the stimulation. His tongue licked at the mark, soothing the burning skin.

“Kinky bastard.” He chuckled against my skin, sending vibrations through my body.

“Upstairs. Now.” I moaned. I didn't want to move but the bed would be so much easier. He reluctantly jumped off me and scrambled up the stairs as he tried to get there as quickly as possible. I stood still for a moment. I could stay here, not go up, pretend like it hadn't happened. The sane moment passed quickly as my thoughts drifted to Jeremy.

I growled at my own weakness as I ran up the stairs as fast as I could. Jer had only made it to his door in the time it took for me to decide. I smirked and pulled him up, throwing him over my shoulder.

Seconds later he fell back onto his bed with a gasp. The boy looked around in confusion before his eyes fell on me as I stood over him.

“You really should warn a guy before doing that.” He chuckled before kneeling up on the bed and pulling me closer to him. He pulled me into an urgent kiss as we knelt across from each other. The kiss was even more heated than before as we explored each other with our hands. Jeremy's tongue was tracing my fangs, I couldn't even remember when they had come out but it felt good so I didn't care.

I grabbed his shirt, trying to pull it over Jer's head but he wouldn't move away. I growled in annoyance, I wanted to feel him against me, without any barriers. My hands fisted the offending material and I ripped it as easy as if it was paper until I could feel Jer's body without restriction.

He pulled back, breathing erratically and I knew I wasn't in a better state. He looked at the floor to see the remains of his shirt.

“I really liked that shirt.”

“That shirt was in my way and I need to be in you. Right now. I am going to fuck you until all you can do is scream my name.” I whispered in his ear, earning a shiver.

“Let's see if you can keep to your word.” He challenged me.

I let my teeth graze over Jer's pulse point as I undid his belt. I sucked at his neck, adding to the number of bruises. He whimpered, waiting for me to bite him but I couldn't now. I was too close to the edge. I needed him first.

Soon we were both naked, jeans and boxers forgotten on the floor. He was unconsciously rocking his hips into mine, trying to relieve the pressure as I used the lube I had retrieved from it's spot in the drawer to slick my fingers.

“You ready?” I asked. I knew his answer but I loved to hear him say it.

“Yeah-Please Day-need you.” He gasped.

I pressed the first finger in as slowly as I could, letting him adjust to intrusion. He pushed back against it until the digit was fully inside.

“More Damon.” He moaned as he rocked against my hand. I was barely holding on to the last of my control. I bit my wrist and brought it up to his mouth.

“Drink. I don't want this to hurt you.” I expected him to at least pull a face but he eagerly sucked at the wound, making me moan at the feeling as blood smeared around his mouth. Maybe he had gone farther that I had thought with Anna.

I jumped forwards, sucking the blood off his lips as I rubbed his swollen dick with a tight fist. I added a second and then third finger in quick succession, fucking him with them until his nails dug into my arms and his head fell into my shoulder, biting it hard, as he plummeted into a new level of pleasure.

I pulled out my fingers and guided him until he was on his hands and knees in front of me. His ass was pushed up as he rested his head on a pillow and his legs were spread so wide that I could see his hole, stretched and waiting for me to fill him. I rubbed my fingers over my length, covering it in the remaining lube on my hand before lining up with his hole.

I pushed all the way in with one hard thrust, moaning at how tight he was. I heard Jer's moans as he muffled them in the pillow. As soon as I was sure I wouldn't hurt him I began to push into him, each thrust rocked the bed and Jer only stayed in place because of my strong grip on his hips.

The slap of skin and the panting of breaths and moans was all that could be heard as I relentlessly pounded into him, aiming for that sweet spot inside of him, making Jeremy moan loudly as he bit down into the bedding.

“Day-please. Don't stop! I-I need to . . .” Jer started muttering into the pillow as he got closer and closer to release. I could feel myself getting close, too. The fire that ran through my body pooled at my groin.

I lay forwards, pressing myself along Jer's back and held onto him as I pushed into him as fast as I could, losing all rhythm as I neared my release.

“Fuck- Damon. I'm so close-” He cried underneath me. I began to pump his neglected member before I bit down into his neck without warning. He cried out as his orgasm hit and his muscled tensed and twitched around my cock, milking me as I pushed into him until I couldn't support myself.

I fell to the side of him, pulling his limp body into my chest. My cock was softening inside of him as I spooned him and I could feel his sticky release on my hand and it had never felt so right. Jer was still breathing heavily in front of me and my body felt warm and heavy from my orgasm.

\-----

“Wow.” Jer whispered, breaking the silence a while later. It could've been hours for all I cared. I was just happy lying next to him.

“You can say that again.” I chuckled.

“I can settle for just doing that again.” He said, clenching him muscles around my member.

“Bad idea, I don't think you have another round in you.” I groaned as my dick gave an excited twitch.

“You sure?” He whispered playfully as he ground back against me. I was quickly getting hard and I bucked into him, brushing the boy's prostate and earning an appreciated moan. I reached around until I felt Jer's half-erect cock. I palmed it until he was fully hard before tugging it a few times.

“Somebody's excited tonight.” I smiled as my hand travelled lower to his balls. He groaned as lazily rolled them in my fingers. His head turned to the side, searching for my lips. I leaned forwards, pressing my mouth against his and letting myself get lost in the feeling of his lips on mine.

I moved down to his neck when he pulled away, laying open-mouthed kissed on any skin I could reach. All of the bruises and bite marks had healed after I had given him my blood and his skin had returned to it's perfect softness.

“Day.”

“Yeah?”

“Either pull out or start moving.” He complained lightly. I just smiled and rolled my hips into him and he hummed lightly, just as content as I was. I maintained a slow rhythm, never pulling out, just moving inside of him. I could stay like this forever, it was like there was nothing between us. I could say or do anything and he would still accept me.

He brought his hand up to grasp his dick and soon his had was flying over his shaft as he gasped and moaned. I doubled my efforts, pushing into him and adding to his pleasure. I watched him come, his head falling back to rest on my shoulder as his eyes screwed shut and his jaw fell open in a silent scream. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

After a moment he shifted so I wasn't inside him and I held back a noise of complaint as the cold air hit the sensitive flesh. He turned to smiled at me and chuckled when I frowned at him.

“Don't worry I didn't forget about you.” He promised before moving down the bed. I watched as his lips wrapped around my length and sucking on the head. He looked up at me, his bright eyes were mischievous. In one quick movement he had taken most of me down his throat, shocking a loud moan out of me as I tried to get farther into his hot, wet mouth.

I didn't last long as he alternated between sucking the head and teasing my slit and swallowing down my cock. I knew that was something that didn't just happen and I was unnecessarily jealous of whoever he had done that to first.

I smiled as Jer climbed up my body to collapse on top of me, using me as an oversized pillow. I brought up a hand, unconsciously stroking it through his hair. I really wanted to sleep now and I could see Jeremy was fighting to keep his eyes open. I looked over at the clock next to the bed, unable to guess the time.

The clock read ten to eleven and I jumped up, forcing Jer off me. Jenna could've been back at any time. She could've seen us. I panicked, looking around, everything had to look normal. I threw some clothes at Jer, the same jeans and a new shirt as I threw the remains of the other one under the bed.

“Damon, what's wrong?” Jer asked as he watched me from the bed, the clothes clutched in his hand.

“Get dressed, now. Get downstairs and act normal.” I growled at him. I saw the pain in his eyes at my sudden change. I knew he thought I regretted this but he couldn't be more wrong. I had no time to explain it to him now. It's just that got so lost in him and it had shocked me. I looked over to him as he shakily pulled the clothes on, hardly able to stand. I walked over to help and he flinched back. I felt the familiar pain at his reaction to me, the one I thought had gone with his memories. Did he still think I was a monster?

"It won't work, you can't compel me." He warned, using his only defence. Did he really think I was that mean? I wouldn't, I hated messing with his memory and I thought the last time had been for his own good but he had proved that I could trust him.

"Jer, I promise I will never try to take any of your memories away again. Just know that this won't happen again." I wanted to keep that promise, too. I wouldn't break another one to him.

“Why? There's nothing stopping us.” He objected.

“It's wrong, Jer. You're under-age and impulsive. You have your life ahead of you and I'm a vampire. Don't you see how that would never work out?”

He didn't answer me but the longing had returned to his eyes as he stared up at me, silently begging for me to change my mind. This time I wouldn't, though, I could stay away this time because I was no good for him.

We were both finally dressed and it was five minutes to eleven.

"Back here, one o'clock." Jer told me before disappearing out the door. It wasn't an order, it was a choice. It could happen again but if I didn't come it would never happen. I sighed in frustration. I could've said no to anything he would say but doing that, leaving me with the choice was a good move, I never made the right choice.

I heard the car pull up at four minutes past eleven. I was still up in Jer's room, too scared to confront him. I almost ran down the stairs when I heard the door open.

“Hey, Damon. Was-” Jenna started to ask but I was already out the door, if I looked at him I knew those words would slip out, the ones I thought I'd never think again. Three words that weren't enough to explain how I felt but summed it up so perfectly.

I loved him.


	13. Choice

### Jeremy's POV

I didn't turn around as I turned on the TV. Not when I heard the front door opening or Damon coming down the stairs. I didn't want to look at him, see the regret in his eyes. The way he acted had hurt a little but it wasn't important. It was an act, it had to be, and I saw right through it. If he truly regretted it he wouldn't come back tonight, that's what I told myself.

I tried to expel those last moments with him from my mind. I had the rest of the night to think about. It had been how I imagined sex to be like with him; rough, hard and passionate. I wasn't looking forward to tomorrow and making up an excuse for why I was walking funny, though, but it was worth every second. I had seen that man again, the one who had been so caring, if only for a short while.

“What's wrong with Damon?” Jenna asked me as she walked into the room.

“Dunno,” I shrugged. “He's been like that all night. I don't think he likes me all that much.” I added, trying to sound impassive and maybe I was trying to get as much doubt between the idea of me and Damon so she would never even suspect it. Just in case.

“He seemed fine earlier, do you think he's okay?” She commented.

“He's probably just being Damon.” I muttered, hoping that she would let the topic go.

“As long as you didn't get into any trouble.” She decided. “I need to freshen up. I've been running around all night.” She continued as she made her way upstairs. The moment she was out of sight I relaxed into the chair as I huffed out a relieved breath. I needed to stop being so jumpy and obvious if I was going to go through with this with Damon. Whatever it was.

I was getting ahead of myself. I didn't even know if he was going to turn up tonight. It would be easier if he didn't, went back to ignoring me and treating me like Elena's stupid little brother but it wasn't what I wanted. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise or how I balanced out the pros and cons, I wanted him, no matter how stupid or dangerous it was.

It seemed like I was counting the seconds until Damon was supposed to arrive. It was midnight and Jenna had already gone to sleep. Elena and Stefan hadn't shown up and I had presumed they were staying at his house.

It was only an hour until Damon would be here and I didn't know what I was going to say. I knew what I wanted to say; I wanted to say that he was perfect and beautiful and I wanted him more than anything in the world and confess sappy things. That wasn't going to happen.

I turned off the TV, deeming it late enough to go upstairs although I knew I couldn't sleep. I was nervous and there was a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that wouldn't go away. I changed into some tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt that I used for sleeping in before opening the window. I didn't expect him to be there yet but it didn't stop me from gazing out the window as I sat at my desk.

I glanced out the window almost every minute in the hope of spotting him as it approached 1 am. I was fighting to keep my eyes open and every muscle in my body ached. Although the bites and bruises had healed, Damon's blood had done nothing to ease the ache caused by his rough handling.

My heart grew heavier as the time came and passed. All of my faith in him crumbled away as as it slipped past 1:30. I didn't know how I could've been so stupid. Of course he wouldn't turn up, he didn't care about me; he only saw me as an easy fuck.

I was almost fighting back tears as I thought of how he had used me and shook my head, trying to rid myself of the stupid thoughts. I didn't care about him anyway, asking him to come here was a test to see if I could really continue this. I got my answer and now I could get on with my life. It was for the best anyway, I was going to do what the past-me had said. I was going to stay away from Damon Salvatore.

I slammed my window shut with a little too much force, making the frame shake before I climbed into my bed, pulling the sheets over my head. I hoped I could just forget this in the morning, just continue ignoring him. I buried my head into the pillow, trying to get comfy and I definitely wasn't missing the feel of his body next to mine.

I lay awake for what felt like hours, begging my mind to turn off so I could sleep. Of course I wasn't lucky enough for that to happen. I tossed and turned until I was so tangled in the sheets that I almost fell off the bed and my head hurt from accidentally hitting it on the headboard.

I pulled the quilt over my head, screwing my eyes shut. I refused to lose sleep over him, I wasn't some lovesick teen girl. The world around me faded away as my body finally relaxed and the tiredness overwhelmed me.

\-----  
  
I sighed contently as I felt fingers brush over my skin, trailing down my back, gently squeezing my ass. I didn't open my eyes, I just rolled towards the body, pushing the hand closer to me, silently asking for more. The person complied as two hands now roamed my body, teasing sensitive flesh and rubbing my nipples.

A mouth joined the hands, causing beautiful pleasure to spread through my skin. It felt like I was being stimulated everywhere at once, the talented lips licking my ear and neck and cock all at the same time. I moaned at the ministrations, allowing the pleasure to wash over me.

The body pressed against me, holding me close as a hand reached down to stroke my member. All I could feel was pure white bliss, so strong that I thought I could see it. My lips found the intruder's as I drowned in the feeling of them moving against mine, making me melt into his embrace.

“Damon.” I sighed, sinking into the familiar kiss. His teeth nipped at my lips as a finger did devilish things around my balls and hole, making me gasp into his mouth. He rolled on top of me, covering my body with his.

“Please.” I whispered into the silence, pushing up into him, needing him to continue. My skin was on fire, my whole being was crying out with the intensity. I wanted to stay there forever, with him there, always making me feel this way.

I moaned his name again as his grip on my member tightened, bringing me to my climax. I was so close, my whole body shaking as I got so close to dropping over the edge of ecstasy-

There was a loud crash from somewhere around me, starling me as my eyes flew open. I fought my way out of the sheets I was buried underneath, panicking at the idea of someone being in my room. I was greeted by darkness as I scanned my room, unable to spot anything out of place.

I took a deep breath, deeming I had imagined the noise. I lay back down on my bed, once again wide awake. The noise came again, a series of hard cracks against the window pane, all of them threatening to break the glass.

I jumped out of my bed to the window, wondering what could be making such a racket. I pulled back the curtains to reveal the familiar street, hardly visible in the dim, overcast night. I opened the window and poked my head out into the cold autumn night, hoping to see whatever had woke me but I still saw nothing. The taps came again, a lot lighter this time and I could just make out the small stones that tapped against the window only a few inches away from my face.

I pulled back, not wanting to get hit by one and consequently leaving the window wide open. The second I had moved away I could feel a breeze blow into the room before the window closed with a thud. I backed up against the wall, not wanting to be caught by surprise but it wasn't necessary. The intruder was sprawled across my bed, completely relaxed as he stared at me with an unwavering gaze.

“Sorry I'm late.” The man chuckled from his place on the bed.

“Damon?” I gasped, shocked. “What time is it?”

“It's nearly 3. I came to check if you were still awake so we could talk but you were asleep. I was going to go but I was worried, you were making there strange noises and you're usually quite a noiseless sleeper-” He stopped suddenly, realising what he had just said as I stared at him angrily.

“There is no need to mention your habits of following my sister to her room.” I hissed, annoyed that he had heard me, too. “You have to promise to stay away from her.”

“Oh-Yeah . . . Sorry. You don't need to worry about that.” He muttered, seeming almost relieved that I already knew and he didn't have to explain himself.

“You say sorry around me an awful lot lately” I observed as I walked over to sit beside him, placing my hands awkwardly in my lap.

“I have a lot to be sorry about. I've done a lot of bad stuff to you, Jer, and I want you to know I truly regret it so we can move on from it, be who we want to be without the past dragging us down.”

“In that case, I'm sorry for for calling you a dick . . . and almost attempting to kill you.”

“And I'm sorry for killing you and constantly putting you and your loved ones in danger.”

“That doesn't even cover half of it.” I smiled.

“I know.” He added, almost sadly. “I know I'm a bit late and you're probably tired so what did you want me for?” I took a deep breath and looked away from him. I just needed to say what I thought. He wouldn't hurt me, I knew he cared some for me, though how much I didn't know.

“I can't do this, Damon,” I blurted out. That was definitely not the was I was supposed to say it. Damon looked like he was going to interrupt but I carried on quickly. “It's not that I don't like you or that we shouldn't see each other. I just don't want this to be serious. I don't mind if this is just sex... Or a meal," I smiled slightly. "I like it and the sex is great so don't try and make it something it's not. I don't want to lose what we have.”

Although said simply, it was the basics of a truth. I really liked him but I couldn't love him like I wanted to. I didn't care that he was using me so long as it was mutual. It was kinda weird and twisted but that's all I had ever been there for. I loved Vicki but she just me for drugs and sex. Anna had used me for information and to get her mother back and each time they had left me when I got too attached. I swore it wouldn't happen again.

“Don't be stupid, Jer. I like you and that means you're stuck with me whether you like it or not.” He pulled me closer to him, placing a sweet kiss on my cheek.

“I'd watch what you were saying, I might actually start to think that you have feelings.” I joked, allowing his arms to pull me into his chest.

“Guess I'll have to be careful. I can't even make you forget if I say something stupid.” He said, frowning. “Where's the vervain, anyway? I know you can't be drinking it since I've had your blood.”

“I'm not stupid. I don't trust you with that.” I said defensively, pulling out of his grip a little too harshly.

“Why not?”

“You did kill me.” I added blandly. I noticed his discomfort at the mention of killing me and remembered it to investigate later. It wasn't digging, I was just . . . observing.

“I thought relationships were built on trust?”

“I'll trust you if you trust me.”

“I don't trust anybody.”

“Then maybe you need to start.” I almost whispered as my hand moved to hold his. He stayed quiet, purposefully not answering me so I decided to change the subject.

“Will you answer me truthfully if I ask you a question?”

“Sure, so long as it isn't stupid.”

“Why did you come so late?” I asked, wanting to start with the easier questions.

“I was waiting for Stefan and Elena to get to sleep. They think I'm up to no good and are keeping an eye on me.” He answered, his words unhesitating. “Is it my turn now?”

“Do your worst.” I said smugly, knowing I had little to hide.

“Why are you so good at giving head?”

“Of all the things to ask!” I exclaimed.

“You said anything.”

“Natural talent, I guess.” I lied easily.

“Don't bullshit me, Jer. I expect you to answer honestly if I do.”

“It's nothing.”

“I'm not going to laugh or tell anyone, what's the worst that could happen from you telling me?”

“Fine, if you really want to know it was how I paid for them.”

“What?”

“The drugs, if I couldn't get any off my friends I'd go to this guy and he'd give them me if I sucked him off. He thought I was good and I got free stuff, it seemed like a good deal to my doped up brain. It's not something I'm proud of but it happened. Happy now?”

“Not at all, I thought I was your first male experience ever. You have upset me.” He complained and crossed his arms childishly but I knew he was trying hard to not make a big deal out of it. I definitely wasn't proud of the past but it was well and truly behind me.

“It was more of a chore really, I never really enjoyed it.”

“And that makes it all the more better, you were forced to perform sexual acts on a man.” He huffed.

“It was my decision. My young, stupid decision but it was mine.”

“Can I ask you another question?”

“Sure.”

“As far as I can remember, you liked girls. To be exact, you had a little thing with one Bonnie Bennett. When did you change your mind?” I was a little bit happier about this question. It was at least one that I had expected him to ask.

“I've always known that I can 'appreciate' a nice looking body no matter who they are and you're pretty easy on the eyes.” I admitted. “Bonnie's been avoiding me lately, Jonas and Luka are dead and she had all her powers back. I think it's a bit much for her and well . . . I'm not the most comforting boyfriend in the world. Anyway, I think my track record has pretty much put me off women for life. Vicki, Anna, Bonnie. I just think it's time for a change.”

“And so you turned to me?”

“You can't be picky, especially with my luck.”

“Thanks, you really know how to make a guy feel special.” Damon pouted.

“You started it! And you know I didn't mean it like that. And speaking of, what happened to Damon Salvatore; Ladies' man, complete playboy?”

“Maybe he just grew up.”

“I like the new him.” I chuckled. “What about you, have you ever... been with another man?” I asked warily.

“I-I...” He hesitated. “Do you really want to know?”

“I already told you something personal.” I pushed.

“Well, kinda-not really. Not really for me. The idea is that many older vampires, ones that want to stay hidden, take men as their 'boyfriends'. They have more blood and they can take rougher treatment and I have to admit that the more pigheaded they are, the easier they are to compel.

“It didn't work out for me, though, during the first world war we had to survive on as little as possible so I took in an orphaned boy, about 17. He would've gone to war otherwise. His name was Chad and he was quite willing to stay with me, knowing what I was but we were both uncomfortable with the idea. Being with men was a huge taboo and even though he got ridiculously aroused when I spent time with him we never got much farther than seeing each other jack off and even that got awkward.

“Another time I was drunk and it seemed like a very good idea. All I really remember was that he was cute and smelled nice. I'd done anal before so I had an idea of what I was doing. The next morning I was just glad that I was the one that fucked, not the other way round.”

“How do you know it doesn't feel good if you never tried it?”

“How can having a dick up my ass feel good?”

“You're a hypocrite!”

“At least I know how to make it good. Admit it, you like it when I'm inside you.” He purred playfully as he leaned forwards to kiss me. I moved to pull him into a more heated kiss. He let me lead for a moment before pulling back and looking at me.

“So if you don't want this to be anything, what are we doing?” He asked.

“I like you Damon, really, but I just can't do any kind of commitment. Can't we just be?”

“That could mean anything.” He whispered.

“Exactly.”I murmured against his lips before once again capturing them against mine. It felt good just to kiss him, not in any rush, pushing my hands up his shirt and purposefully making his hair a mess. “But I don't want you with anyone else.”

“I wouldn't dream of it.” He whispered soothingly before pulling me into a breathtaking kiss.

“Will you stay tonight?” I questioned him as I pulled back for air.

“I can't. If I'm not there in the morning they'll think I'm up to something.”

I snorted. “They expect you to have gone on a killing spree before they would even think that you were with me.”

“Next time, I promise.” He whispered. “But now you need to get some sleep, it's almost 4am.”

“When will it be next time?” I questioned him.

“What about my house tomorrow night, well . . . tonight. I know Stefan and Elena will be out.”

“Sounds perfect.” I answered, secretly excited to see the rest of the house, namely Damon's room. I had only seen the downstairs.

“I'll see you at eight.” He whispered, kissing me lightly. “Sweet dreams.” He added before disappearing out the window.

I dropped back off to sleep the moment he had left, happy and relaxed.

\----

I was woken to the sound of knocking on my door. I pulled the sheets over my head, trying to expel the sounds and the light that were dragging me away from my peaceful slumber. I sighed inwardly as my eyes opened. I yawned, pulling myself out of the bed before I could get comfortable once again and headed downstairs.

“Hurry up, Jer. We need to help clean up this morning. The only way I could get them to hold the auction at the Grill was to promise to clean up afterwards! It's already midday now and you are going to help me if you want to or not.” She pushed something that resembled breakfast in from of me and I obediently began eating.

I dressed quickly and was pulled out of the door, grumbling all the way, I could've at least gotten some warning about this. I didn't pay attention as Jenna talked to me, my mind was wondering to the conversation last night. I was over the moon that it had worked out and couldn't stop myself from imagining what would happen tonight.

It looked like it would take all day to clean the Grill. Hundreds of glasses and cans were strewn across the room, filling tables and some areas on the floor. Wrappers and plates from meals added to mess and the parking lot (where a gazebo had been up, too) wasn't in any better condition.

Aunt Jenna had managed to pull together a small group of around eight people to help clean up the mess. I was annoyed that Elena hadn't been forced to help but brightened up slightly when I was promised my freedom if I helped out. I was already planning on sneaking out but it would be easier if I had permission.

The task was tedious. I was working outside cleaning up anything I came across and although it was midday there was a cool chill in the air, making work more than uncomfortable if I factored in my protesting muscles.

The roar of an engine pulled me out of my daze and my head snapped up. A familiar car pulled up next to the building, it's blue exterior drawing everyone's attention. The Camaro's roar was cut off as it's owner opened the door, stepping out into the dim autumn sun.

I couldn't help but smile as Damon's eyes caught mine. He winked playfully before disappearing into the bar.

“What are you doing here?” I asked when he appeared again a few minutes later.

“I'm on the clean-up crew and I've been paired up with you. I think Jenna's trying to enforce some male bonding.” He chuckled.

“That's your fault,” I accused him. “If you hadn't stormed out last night like you were trying to get away from a fire then we wouldn't be together. She thinks you absolutely hate me now.”

He leaned forwards, becoming unnecessarily close to me and I stole a quick glance around to see if anyone was looking our way. “Why are you complaining?” He breathed into my ear. His head moved down until his lips pressed against my neck.

I didn't dare to move as his fangs pressed gently into my skin. My eyes screwed shut and my nails dug into my skin as I concentrated on trying to keep my breathing regular. No sooner than I had felt him there he was gone, standing a few steps away from me with a smug grin on his all too calm and normal face.

“Don't do that again.” I warned him. “What if someone had seen you?”

“Relax, nobody was looking . . . and anyway, I just couldn't resist.” He smirked before leaving a short, promising kiss on my lips. “C'mon, then, I don't want to be stuck here all day. I have a date tonight.” He teased as he walked away from me.

About an hour later we were finished. Jenna had, luckily for her, been working on sorting the money for some charity or other whilst everyone else had made the Grill presentable again. Later the whole group was sat round the bar, having a quick drink before we all headed home. My hands were wrapped around the mug of coffee I had been given, using it as a mini heater.

I was watching Damon with amusement as he sat with a sour look a few seats away. He had been denied anything but coffee or water to drink and he had been roped into what looked like a boring conversation with other people I didn't know too well. It served him right, though, although our job had gone a lot quicker with him, it had been hell. Every few minutes he made an inappropriate comment or touched me in unjustifiable places. I, of course, retaliated and soon we had turned it into a game of 'who could touch the other guy the most'.

A few moments later he excused himself and began to walk my way. He passed me with no visible reaction but I felt it as his hand lightly squeezed my butt through my jeans. I sulked when he disappeared and swallowed down the last of my coffee, almost burning my tongue. I couldn't wait until tonight when I could touch him without the fear of anyone seeing.

I gasped when I noticed the small note where I was about place the mug. I snatched it up and read the the few words that were scribbled onto the paper.

'You coming?' There was a small winking smiley drawn next to it and I sigh, shoving the note into my pocket. He had been really giddy all day. I traced his steps to the men's room and slipped inside.

“What's wrong with you?”I asked cheerfully as one of his hands began to trail down my body the moment the door closed behind me.

“I'm just happy! Why, am I not allowed to be?” He chuckled.

“If this is what happens when you're happy you can be happy everyday.” I smiled.

I pulled him closer to me, sealing my lips over his. I was pushed against the door and Damon's hand found the bulge in my pants, pushing and curling his fingers as he massaged me through the clothes.

“Looks like you have a 'little' problem there.” He joked.

“There's nothing little about me and you know it.” I countered as I bucked into his hand, my breaths coming out as needy gasps. His hand fumbled with my belt as my hands gripped his hair, pulling him closer into the kiss. Finally my jeans were loose enough for him to pull them out of the way.

He fell to his knees in front of me and began to kiss and nip at my hip bones and dip his tongue beneath the band of my boxers, occasionally snapping the elastic back and making me gasp. Soon he pulled them away, too, leaving me half naked in a public bathroom.

“Aren't we gonna get caught?” I sighed as he kissed down my length. “Damon-Fuck!” I growled, my question forgotten as he took me in his mouth. I gasped as I noticed I could see us in the mirror on the adjacent wall. My eyes were glued to the sight as he knelt before me, his head bobbing over my length with his hair in a ruffled mess as my hands tried to pull him closer to no avail.

I was growing close to my climax after just a few minutes of his ministrations, his tight lips were like heaven on my excited dick and I was almost whimpering as he pulled away. He moved on to suck my balls into his mouth, massaging them with his tongue and I was almost crying in pleasure.

“Damon-please! I need to come!” I almost screamed in frustration as he took me back into his mouth inch by slow inch. My hips bucked forward, trying to immerse myself back into his warm, slick mouth but an arm across my hips stopped me before I got far.

My grip tightened on his hair as I got close to my climax. My head was shaking from side unconsciously as I tried to hold myself back. I forced myself to look into the mirror again to see Damon rubbing his hand over his neglected length in time with his movements. It became a quick race to completion as his mouth worked expertly on my sensitive cock.

Someone was at the other side of the door, trying to push it open and in turn pushing me further into Damon's eager mouth. I moaned in ecstasy as he took down as much of me as he could and I heard a muted “For Fucks Sake!” shouted through as the man realised what we were doing but I couldn't bring myself to care, what was happening now was far too important.

I bit down on my hand as I came, trying not to scream Damon's name in such a public place but the thought was soon gone. My orgasm ripped through me and my legs shook, unable to hold my weight. Damon pulled me down next to him, cuddling into me and sloppily kissing any part of me he could as he settled into a post-coital state.

I got to my senses much sooner than Damon, which was funny since I was on the receiving end of the blow job. I grabbed some tissue and began to clean us both up. Damon's eyes closed and he let out a breathy moan as I mopped the white substance off his skin.

“C'mon, someone's gonna find us if we don't hurry up.” I hurried him. All the response I got was a smile as he pulled me back down into a deep kiss. I pulled back quickly, genuinely worried that we'd get caught. “Do you want to get caught?” I snapped at him.

He eventually jumped up and was looking acceptable before I was. “That was fun.” He chuckled, smiling dreamily at me.

“You are an exhibitionist.” I grumbled. He just smiled at that, leaning against the door while I got sorted so no one could get in.

“Maybe I just like being with you, no matter where I am.” He countered. “I'll go now and you wait a few minutes, nobody will notice we both disappeared.”

“Right.” I agreed, accepting the short peck on my lips. If I had only learnt one thing in the short amount of time we had been like this, he loved to touch me, whether it is just a quick kiss or a long embrace.

“See you tonight, then?” He asked, waiting for my confirmation.

“Of course.” I smiled, happy I was seeing him once again the same day. A few seconds later he was gone, disappearing out the door at vampire speed. I waited for a few minutes like he planned and walked out of the toilets with a smug smile on my face.


	14. Happiness

### Damon's POV

I took a deep, relaxing breath before taking another sip of the drink in my hand. Everyone was gone, although it took a bit of persuasion to get rid of Katherine for the night it would be worth it. I was going to spend the whole night with Jer, just me and him. I was smiling into the glass of whiskey at the thought.

He wasn't looking for a relationship. I told myself that over and over again but it wouldn't stop the fluttery feeling in my chest. Most of me didn't care, I could wait for him to be ready. He had a bad past but I could help him get over it. Another part of me screamed that he would never love me. I had hurt him so much and even though he couldn't remember it he knew, just like he did with Vicki. He couldn't love me because he knew I was a monster.

I couldn't think like that, I had changed. I would never hurt another living being just to prove that to him. I sighed as I thought back to our conversation from last night. I tried to hint at it but Jer just kept beating me down. There wasn't much I could do but be there for him, gain his trust. The kid did seem to have some serious issues.

I was pulled from my rambling thoughts by a short knock at the door. I put down the glass as gently as I could before jumping up to answer it. I tried, and failed, to walk calmly down the hallway. I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself, before taking hold of the cool metal.

I pulled the door open, revealing Jeremy with his stunning brown hair. It had grown out lately and the locks that always fell into his eyes as he looked at me through his lashes like he was doing now made him look too adorable. His stunning eyes sealed the deal, the way they glimmered almost sadly made his as cute as a little lost puppy. It didn't hide the fact that he was filling out, growing taller each day and I knew he was going to grow into a handsome man. I just wished I could be around to see it.

“Hey, Jer.” I said as I motioned for him to come inside. He was shivering and his hands were tucked deep in the pockets of a large black hoodie, with a band name on it I didn't recognise, to keep himself warm. “Are you cold?” I asked, concern jumping forwards before I pushed it down. He would easily warm up and there was no need to be so worried, he wasn't that breakable.

“Hey,” He replied, sighing out a deep breath and making a cloud of his own breath in the air. “Please tell me that big fire of yours is on? I'm freezing.” I nodded my head and let him lead the way into the large living room.

I hated the house, the outdated furniture and wood panelled walls made it dark and dreary like an old man lived there. Too many items; books and lamps and photographs lined the shelved and tables across the walls just gathering dust. It was just another reason I tried to spend as little time as possible at home. It had hardly changed in over a hundred years.

“Here, you can warm up faster if you take this off.” I advised him before pulling the hoodie over his head, purposefully letting my hands trail and linger over his chest. I folded it over the chair before joining Jer on the rug in front of the fire. His arm snaked around my waist, pulling me closer to him until our bodies touched as much as possible as we sat next to each other.

“Next time you're coming to mine, I'm not walking again.” He announced, emphasizing it with a quick jab in my side.

“You should have said. I would've picked you up, I just presumed you could drive or something.” I defended myself.

“Nope, not until next August, I'm not even 17 yet!”

“I tend to forget, sorry. How about I buy you a car for your 17th? Of course it will have to suck and keep breaking down. It would be your first car after all.” I added lightly, covering the heavy feeling in my heart. Sometimes I forgot just how young Jeremy was. He had seen so much and it had forced him to grow up too quickly.

It just reminded me that he still had his whole life ahead of him. He was going to grow up, leave school and get a job. Would he still want me then? When he had his own friends and family and I was just no one. It would be best if he lost interest. We would both win. I would get my time with him, however long it may be. Then he would pull away and I would let him. It would be best if he never loved me, I wouldn't have to tell him the truth.

I sighed contently, letting the thoughts leave me as I often did lately. It was becoming easier and easier to forget about the future . . . or the past. Jer shifted backwards until he was leaning against the settee. He pulled me with him silently until I sat between his legs, resting against his chest. He cuddled closer to me, his arms wrapping around my waist as he nuzzled and kissed my neck. I let my head roll back onto his shoulder, enjoying his tongue as it traced the shell of my ear and dipped to let his teeth nip and suck on my neck.

After a few minutes he stopped, resigning himself to just staring at the fire. “You're really quiet tonight.” I noted. “Are you okay?” His hand moved up to stroke through my hair as he thought and it helped me to relax as I waited for his answer.

“I-I'm just thinking.” He finally whispered, so quiet that I hardly hear the words that were spoked inches from my ear.

“Is it anything I can help with, you're really distracted. You wanna talk or something?” I asked warily, realising I was getting too close to the line between company and caring boyfriend.

“I don't want to bore you, it's really stupid.”

“Go on, I'm not going anywhere.” I pushed, liking the idea that he could confide in me. I wanted him to be close to me, I didn't just want to fuck him. I wanted to hold him and help him through anything. I turned to give him a comforting kiss before he stared to talk.

“It's just that I don't get it, Day. It happened so fast, one minute you never even glanced my way, no matter how much I tried to help you and now . . . now you forfeited sex with anyone else for me. I get that it's a huge step for you. I don't think you've ever been in a 'normal' relationship, what changed in the few days that we've spent together?” He was right about that. The only real   
relationship I had been in was with Katherine and that was definitely out of the category of normal. I had pulled away from anyone ever since.

Of course he would be confused. He hadn't seen the changes happen as I had. He hadn't seen the light leave his eyes that night. He hadn't seen the beautiful, powerful creature that had stood up to me, even in fear. He hadn't had weeks to think about how he felt or even know how it happened.

How could I tell him any of it without him wanting to know the whole story? How could I tell him I loved him when he believed I had only thought of him for a few days? How was I supposed to tell him how I felt, that I didn't just magically fall in love with him. That it had taken weeks where he didn't even know I was there, following him and keeping him out of danger.

“I wish I knew what happened in that little head of yours.” He mused, tapping my head with fingers as he said it. “Then this actually might make sense.”

“Does it matter now, Jer? You have me, there's no point in wondering why. We just need to live now, let it happen.” I said, dropping the subject for him. I knew what he was searching for; the lost time. The days that didn't fit. People that had experience with being compelled could learn to identify the signs. Lost days, events that didn't fit, fuzzy memories or even just confusion. Jer had to realise something.

“I know, I just feel like I'm missing something and it's just so obvious but I can't figure it out.” He growled before sighing in frustrated defeat.

“Hey.” I cooed gently as I squeezed his arm reassuringly. “I'm sure it's nothing. Just try to relax and forget about it or you're going to obsess over it.”

“Alright.” He agreed stubbornly.

“Anyway, I think it ended quite well.” I said before turning to capture his lips in mine. He into my mouth as our lips parted, allowing our tongues to meet, just brushing against each other as he melted into the quickly familiar gesture. I let out a breathy moan as the wet muscle massaged my sensitive lips, leaving them tingling when he pulled back.

“I would've gotten you eventually anyway.”He teased as he pulled me back into his warm chest, the mood instantly lightening.

“Oh really? And how would you have done that?” I asked I tried to turn back around but he held me there, making it clear he didn't want me to move.

“It would be too easy, like last night. You wouldn't be able to resist.” He whispered seductively in my ear. His hand reached up into my shirt, his fingers beginning to trace light patterns over my pale skin. “I'd wait until you were alone, watching you somewhere, just a crowded place. You'd want me before I even started because you would know what it meant when I looked at you like that.

“Then I would come and sit next to you, it wouldn't be too obvious, no one would even notice when my hand slipped onto your knee.” He whispered into my ear, acting out the words as he said them. “You wouldn't even stop me as my hand got closer to your cock. You'd just be begging for me to touch you.” I let out a low groan as his hand moved to lightly cup the growing bulge in my jeans, squeezing ever so gently.

“Then I'd walk away, leaving you there, hard, needing me.” He chuckled, bringing his hand away. “And you would come after me, my job would be done. You would be so set on fucking me, making me scream that you wouldn't care where we were, that we could get caught any minute. All that would matter would be slamming into my ass, taking me.” He whispered, his breath deepening. I realised I had shut my eyes as I listened to his hypnotic voice. I turned then, recapturing his eager mouth, dominating his body as I pushed against him.

I let go of him for a minute, crawling over to a spot in front of the fire. Jeremy sat watching with lust filled eyes, not attempting to do anything with his obvious erection. I just stared at him, enjoying my superior vision in the dark room, the only source of light being the fire. His dark brown hair was brushed out of his face, revealing eyes, pupils blow wide as he stared at me as if he was about to jump me.

His arms were spread over the seat of the settee he was leaning against, causing his tee to ride up and tease me with just inches of his perfect midriff. My eyes travelled to his jeans where his hand had started to rub the noticeable outline of his thick cock through the material.

“Enjoying the view?” Jer asked, he voice deeper than usual. I leaned forwards, pulling him on top of me. He bent down, moulding his body to mine as we kissed slowly and passionately. His hands wrapped deep in my hair as I cupped his cheek pulling him closer, the only thing I could taste was him, the only thing I could feel was heat, from both Jer and the fire.

I couldn't help but stop for a moment to think about how romantic the scene was, the heat of the crackling fire illuminated his as I stared into deep brown eyes. I wondered what Jer would think if he saw the situation as I did. That we were making love and it was beautiful.

I rolled us over, pinning the human beneath me. I kissed down his neck, efficiently removing the tee as it got in the way. I moved down to his waist, quickly undoing the belt and his jeans soon followed.

Jeremy tugged at my shirt, wanting to see my naked body, too. I obeyed and stripped myself of my jeans, allowing Jeremy to pull off my shirt. We were both on the floor, me straddling Jer's stomach, both of us just in our boxers. Jeremy reached down, intent on removing the final layer of clothing. I pushed his hand back, giving him a disapproving look.

“I'm going to take my time with you tonight. Now, where there is no chance that anything can stop us.” I whispered, leaving wet kissed on his chest. He let out a quiet whimper at that, arching into my touch as I tease his nipples.

“Damon-” He gasped, already rocking against me, trying to get some friction. I moved down his body until I was eye-level with his confined arousal. I pressed a light kiss on the clothed bulge, making his member twitch before slowly pulling the elastic down.

His erection sprung forward, revealing the red, leaking tip. I licked away the pre-cum, earning a deep groan. He bucked up, attempting to feel more of my mouth on him but I had other ideas. I pulled away from him, earning a whine in protest.

“Day! Just fucking fuck me! I can't take this being patient thing.” He pouted, looking too cute for his own good. It didn't disguise his desperation, though. His whole body was tense and Jer stared at me, wanting me to do something.

“Just relax and turn over, I swear it will be worth it.” I promised. He thoughtlessly rolled onto his stomach, trusting me to take care of him.

I kissed down his back, causing shivers to sweep through his body. “You like that?” I asked only getting a moan in response as I lightly dragged my nails down his spine. I smiled as I played with the newly discovered sensitive area. I lightly dragged my tongue over the area before blowing on the wet patch I had created, forcing more shudders to spread through him.

Jer gasped and moaned lightly throughout my ministrations, his fingers buried in the pile of the rug. I wanted to explore his body, find other places that would make him moan. I wanted to find the ones that would make him laugh uncontrollably or the ones that made him melt in my hands but I had time for that later.

I inched towards my destination hesitantly. I was sure this was new waters for both of us but I wanted to try it. I placed a few kissed on the pale cheeks of his ass before spreading them, revealing the tight pucker.

Jer happily spread his legs as I ran a finger over the crease, only pushing against the hole slightly. I bent down, licking over his entrance and earning a surprised gasp quickly followed by a moan. Encouraged by the noises I swiped my tongue over it again, getting the same reaction.

I spent some time licking over his hole until it was slick and shiny with spit. Jeremy was writhing beneath me, pushing into me and moaning steadily. I pushed past the tight muscle, fucking him with my tongue and forcing him to unconsciously push into me.

I added a finger, pushing it in as I continued to probe the muscle, massaging it until his whole body was on edge. I added another finger, steadily loosening his entrance. Jer started speaking in between moans, begging for more. The sinful sounds Jer was making left me hard and desperate for any contact. Whilst I couldn't do anything about my own neglected hard-on, Jer was basically humping the floor, relishing the feeling of the friction I desperately needed. When I pulled back, leaving just my fingers inside him, the sight was almost enough to make me come right then.

His head was buried in his arms as he rolled his hips, simultaneously impaling himself on my fingers and stimulating his weeping cock. I couldn't wait any longer. I quickly added a third finger, making sure he was stretched enough before turning him over.

Jer looked up at me with dark, glazed eyes. His face was flushed and sweat glistened on his skin. He pulled me over him, locking his lips to mine. All his desperation and need was communicated in the one kiss as he held himself to me, his shaky breaths echoing off the walls.

“No more teasing-please.” He gasped against me and I couldn't deny him. I hooked one of his legs over my shoulder before lining up with his entrance, quickly spreading some spit on my cock to make it easier, it wasn't perfect but we could manage. I pushed forwards and my head fell back as I was consumed by the feeling of tight walls clenching around my cock.

I settled into a slow rhythm, sinking inside before one again pulling out slowly. Jer was rocking against me in minutes, trying to urge me on. I changed the angle, holding him up further, aiming for his prostate.

Neither of us lasted long after that, my hand pumped Jer's member in time with my thrusts. I gradually got faster, moaning as my orgasm was ripped from me by pulsating muscles seconds after Jeremy came, covering my hand and his chest with white fluid and crying out with a deep moan.

I gently pulled away, lying beside him as we caught our breath. Jeremy was the first to break the silence.

“Well, fuck.” He whispered, still breathing deeply. I rolled over to look at him, his flush cheeks and lazy smile giving him a carefree look.

“Took the words right out of my mouth.” I answered, my mind to hazy to come up with a decent reply. I pulled us closer together, Jer automatically wrapping his arm around me as I lay my head on his chest.

“We should move or I'm going to fall asleep .” I sighed, muffling a yawn. The only response I got was a light humph. “Jer?”

“I'm comfy.” He moaned unintelligently.

“I've got an even comfier bed upstairs.”

“Do I get to see your room?” He asked, instantly perking up. I nodding, knowing he could feel it and he was instantly sat up. “What are we waiting for?”

He jumped up on shaky legs, obviously set on poking around my room before I got there. I let him run ahead, there wasn't much interesting there anyway. As I walked up the stair I saw the comical scene of Jer, completely naked, checking each door as he passed it.

“Third from the end, left hand side.”

“Thanks.” He said sheepishly before disappearing down the hallway. I followed, admiring the view of him from behind.

Jeremy had stopped once he reached my room, his eyes glued to the bed that dominated the room. I had to admit that it was rather big. Half a dozen people could sleep in it without problem, not that I had tested it.

“Well?” I asked as I made my way to the bathroom to clean up. The room really wasn't that impressive. There was a minimal amount of furniture; a tiny bedside table supporting a lamp, a few chairs, a mirror and the bed that claimed most of the room. The curtains that ran across the back wall would normally be opened, letting in as much light as possible from the wall of windows.

The best think Zack had done was update the bathroom. I had a shower and a bath easily big enough for two as well as all the necessities. I grabbed a cloth, quickly cleaning come off myself before taking it to Jer.

“We have got to have sex on this bed!” He shouted gleefully as he fell back into the soft duvet, spreading himself out as far as possible and still not reaching any of the sides.

“I'm sure we'll end up doing that anyway.” I sighed, throwing the cloth on him. Once he was a bit cleaner, Jer began to root through the pile of books I had never bothered to move from the side of my bed.

“I guessing you read quite a bit.” He said, dropping each book to the side of him when he had read the title. “I haven't even heard of half of these.” He sighed as he sifted through a new pile.

“I'm not surprised, they're quite old.”

“Now this one I know. 'Gone with the Wind'.” He chuckled. “You're just a giant sop, aren't you?”

“You caught me.” I smiled back. “I even cried a little at it.” He just sighed and rolled his eyes, placing the book back.

“Wait, what's this?” He asked, reaching under the bed. He pulled out the familiar sketchpad. “What are you doing with this?”

I panicked for a moment, unsure of what to say. “You're not the only one that snoops, you know.”

“Well at least I don't steal things.”

“It has pictures of me in it, therefore it is mine.” I chuckled slightly as he blushed. “I took it 'cause I kinda like it.” I admitted sheepishly.

He waited for a moment, flicking through the pages. “You can keep it.” He decided, putting it back from where he found it. “But no one else sees it, okay?”

“Right.” I agreed. He pulled me into a kiss that ended in us both falling back onto the soft bed. “So,” I whispered in his ear. “You ready for another round? The bed really needs it's springs checking.”

Jer just laughed as he straddled me. “And I have thought of a great way of doing that.” He offered as he rolled his hips, rubbing my quickly hardening member against his backside. I couldn't help but join his care free laughter before silencing him with a long, breath-taking kiss.

\-----

I pulled the covers over us before lying down next to the already sleeping boy. An almost forgotten feeling spread through my body, warming me in unusual ways as I held myself closer to Jer's soft body. It was contentment, happiness and I loved it. All I could do was lie there as I was surrounded by Jeremy, he filled my every sense and all I could feel was happiness and love.

Hours later, movement next to me shook me awake, my instincts kicking in as I was instantly alert and listened to what was happening around me. I forced my eyes to stay shut as I felt a weight leave the bed and a click of the door as it swung open and shut almost silently.

I turned over, forcing myself to sleep again. He just needed time, that was all. If I followed him I would just make it worse. The rustling of him putting on his clothes filled the house for a few minutes before the final slam of the front door left silence ringing in my ears.

I rolled over again, the huge bed now feeling cold and empty without the presence of Jeremy's warm body. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get back to sleep and I eventually pulled myself out of the bed.

I was hungry anyway, I hadn't fed from Jer or drank anything all day. I made my way down to the basement, intent on finding some blood to comfort me.

“How're you doing Elijah?” I said aloud as I passed the locked door. I was only greeted by expected silence. “Yeah, me too.” I sighed as I grabbed a bag from the fridge.

I settled down on the settee in front of the glowing embers that remained form the earlier fire, occasionally sipping from the glass in my hand. I was longing for Jer's company, he had only been gone a few minutes and I wanted him back.

I lay back, just thinking of him and I didn't even notice as my eyes slipped close and thoughts became dreams.


	15. Decision

### Jeremy's POV

I could hardly think. It was too much, too fast. I was stood outside the house, unsure what to do. I couldn't go back in, I needed room to think. I didn't want to see him again until I had it figured out or I would just forget about it, happy to be with him.

All the time I had been around him recently I had never once forgot what he was, I had never let the warning leave my mind. Damon was dangerous. But last night everything had melted away. I had time to think before I went to Damon's last night and all that went through my mind was how he had acted. He had been so happy, like the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders.

I liked him like that, his smile was beautiful. I don't think I had ever seen a genuine smile so full of happiness from the vampire. It worried me, though. You would think it would distract me from the thoughts that there was something wrong, that it would help me to forget that he was hiding a secret. A secret so bad that I wanted to forget it but it just made my curiosity peak.

So I decided to try and find out. I went to the house last night with the intention of finding out what had happened, no matter what I had to do. It hadn't worked, though, he had just been so understanding. I didn't even dare to push him for information, he had been kind and considerate and sweet. He acted like he loved me. It couldn't be right, it didn't happen like that.

I sighed, hoping that everything would just be easy for once. Why couldn't it be as straight forward as a high school crush? There just had to be a catch, something to prevent me from living a happy life.

I was walking, now, as I thought. There was no point in standing around, I needed to get home before I froze to death or passed out. Damon had most definitely fucked all the energy out of me. It was the best feeling, my whole body felt so tired a relaxed calm spread over every muscle and bone, making them feel like mush. There was no other way to describe it, even my brain was mush with the content fuzziness spreading through me. All I wanted to do was sleep but I had to get home first.

I concentrated on each word carefully as I went through our discussion. I had learnt very little, sure I knew he regretted it and that it was bad enough for me to lose a whole week of my life but that was it. Damon was right when he said I was going to start to obsess over it. I already was doing, I watched the recording almost every day and I dissected every conversation I had with him, just to see if that could give me any clues but there was nothing.

I sighed as I finally walked through my front door, not worried about being caught. It was almost 3am and Aunt Jenna would be in bed by now. I quietly walked up to my room, taking care to not wake anyone with the slamming of doors.

I got changed and quickly pulled myself under the warmth of the quilt. I was exhausted from our 'activities' and the walking but I couldn't sleep, not until I had sorted the warring in my head. I could just forget it, carry on with this dream life that seemed to have been handed to me. I realised that the choice was becoming more and more desirable. I wanted to be with him but could I let this go?

I rolled over so my face was buried in my pillow. I took a deep breath from the object as I calmed myself down. I had to make the right decision here. Even if I did, somehow, find out the truth, what would I do? Leave him. Forget the time we spent together or regret it.

It would ruin Damon as well as me. The truth wouldn't just potentially change my life but I knew Damon cared for me, it was obvious and it would destroy him, too. That's what made up my mind. He deserved to be happy, after all that had happened to him and I hoped that he was actually happy with me.

I pulled the sheets further up around me as I tucked my knees into myself. I would do it, let the past go. I was going to stick to the decision. It wouldn't be hard. Well, maybe a couple of things would be hard I thought with a mental chuckle before falling asleep.

\-----

I was awoken the next morning by the annoying beeping of my alarm clock. That unfortunately meant I had to go to school, ruining my idea to make it up to Damon for disappearing the night before.

Fortunately, I was ready early enough to get a lift from Elena. I even had enough time to have a long, warm shower. Unfortunately, she was still looking at me strangely, like I was either going to break out in hysterical laughter or cry . . . or both. Maybe it was just because I hogged the bathroom this morning. It got even worse when Stefan got in the car, giving me an outraged look as he opened his window despite the cold weather. Why he couldn't just drive himself was beyond me.

“So, Jer. How have you been lately?” Elena asked cheerfully, her voice too upbeat and forced for the dreary weather outside.

“Urr, fine, I guess.” I answered in confusion. I never knew what to say to her any more. Stefan shifted uncomfortably in his seat, remaining uncharacteristically silent. Things hadn't improved in the last few days. Elena had started to be awkward around me and soon we were just avoiding each other. It was always her approach when she hid a secret, that's why she could never keep them.

Stefan had been okay with me at first, being just as friendly as usual until he got in the car. Did he know something? Maybe he could smell Damon on me. Could he even do that? Not to mention I had a shower, that had to get rid of some of the smell. I repressed the urge to sniff myself, knowing I wouldn't be able to smell anything anyway.

I would have to ask Damon, I didn't want anyone knowing about it. It was mainly because of the chance he would be attacked by Elena or Bonnie, maybe even Caroline and Alaric to protect innocent old me who never made the right decisions. I didn't want another thing taking away from me.

We arrived at school relatively quickly and Stefan jumped out of the car almost before it stopped. Elena looked after him in confusion before picking up her bag to follow.

“Bye, Jer.” She hurriedly said before shutting the door behind her. I jumped out, too, quite eager to get through my day. I watched with a frown as Stefan and Elena walked to greet Caroline. It was strange how I noticed the gaping hole the removal of Bonnie had left.

She had stopped coming to school soon after getting her powers back, hell-bent on learning as much as she could from the grimoires left for her by Luka and Jonas. She spent most of her time at her house, reading through the endless numbers of witch-journals as she learned to push her limits and control her power.

I had visited numerous times in the past, worried about how far she was pushing herself. Most of the time I was an unwelcome visitor, given the cold shoulder until I went away. Stefan had said I was lucky that she didn't forcibly remove me the way she did with him. I hadn't visited in weeks and wondered if she was growing tired of the company of books.

I could probably visit after school, maybe she could give me some advice on guys, namely Damon. We had been close before everything, she was the best person for me to go to for anything. I wouldn't tell her everything but the easiness with talking to her stemmed form the fact she never dug too deep.

I had art for my first lesson, it was probably the only lesson I enjoyed and therefore the only one I wasn't miserably failing. I sat in my seat, grabbing everything I needed before the teacher spoke.

“Right, class. I'm sure we all know what we are doing. Get on with it.” I smiled as Mr. Brunn went to sit back at his desk. He was a man of few words, usually only addressing us to explain the lesson but today we were carrying on with a project. It wasn't a favourite of mine, we simply had do a self-portrait. I almost laughed as I looked at myself in the mirror. I tried to suppress my cheerful smile so I could continue with the dreary looking drawing.

The rest of the day went quickly as I daydreamed through the classes I didn't understand. I had history and the whole lesson was spent avoiding eye contact with Mr. Saltzman. He looked miserable, it was usually one of the most fun and interesting classes I had but the man seemed to be taking the break up just as badly as Aunt Jenna.

I got a ride home with Elena and, obviously, Stefan wasn't too far behind. I went upstairs, sorting my bag as I wondered what to do about Damon. It would be rude to just show up, expecting him to let me in but I didn't want to apologise with a text, even I found them insulting. I smiled again as I thought about making it up to him.

I had a few good ideas, all of them including lots of very hot sex. My thoughts greedily moved to that subject, producing images of so many different things we could do. Ever since I had seen the kitchen table at Damon's house I couldn't help but imagine him bending me over and fucking me on it. I locked my door silently before stripping and lying back on my bed.

I loosely grabbed my member,warming up with a few light strokes as I imagined Damon, his touch as he pinned me to the table, kissing down my neck as he pressed himself against me. I trailed my free hand over the areas I wished his lips where, my breath becoming shallower as my hand sped up.

I heard a quiet moan come from somewhere in the room. I was sure it wasn't from me and I stopped for a moment, waiting for another sign someone was there. I didn't get one and gladly continued to move my fist over my hard dick, faster than before. I imagined Damon lying me on my back, taking me in his mouth as fingers teased below the hard shaft, occasionally dipping down to run over my hole.

I didn't falter in my exploration when I heard another tell-tale sign, a light growl that could only have come from Damon. I brought one hand up to suck on a finger as I moved to kneel on the bed, determined to make a show. I pushed the finger inside me, gasping at the added stimulation.

“Damon.” I sighed quietly, rubbing my member harder, getting closer to the edge. I moaned as loud as I dared as I neared my release, bucking slightly into my hand. I felt a hand join mine before pushing it away, gripping my cock with a soft hand. I opened my eyes, automatically searching out those bright blue orbs.

We didn't move for a few moments, just stared into each other’s eyes. I broke my gaze first, leaning forward to press my lips against his. He responded with a fiery passion, pushing his naked body hard against mine and replacing my finger with his.

He must have undressed as he watched me because not a moment after I felt his hard dick next to mine, both of us fucking into his hand. I pulled back from the kiss, gasping in air. I was close already and I wouldn't last much longer. Damon's mouth travelled down my neck, sharp teeth trailing over soft skin.

It was the only warning I got before my skin was sliced open, blood flowing from the wound. I gasped in pain and pushed myself closer to him, feeling the approach of my orgasm. One hand grabbed my hair, pulling my head to the side as he greedily sucked and nibbled at the wound. I fucked hard into the other hand, lost in the sensations Damon caused in my body.

Damon bit down harder as he came, his load coating my cock and causing me to moan at the added stimulation. My orgasm hit me seconds later, so powerful that my whole body arched into his as my nails dragged down his back. Damon pulled back, lying us down so we could hold each other closer.

I relaxed into him, breathing deeply as I recovered. I sighed happily as his hands trailed patterns over my skin and eventually opened my eyes to see him watching me with with a caring smile on his blood stained lips. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight, the blood smear all the way up one side of his face and the contented smile made him look a little bit silly.

“What?” He demanded, pulling a face at my reaction to him, making me laugh even more. “Jer? What is so funny?” He asked.

I sat up, taking shaky breaths as I tried to stop laughing. My head spun as I was hit with a wave of dizziness from moving too fast. I looked at Damon once the dizziness subsided. He was staring at my neck, the whites of his eyes blood red and his bloodstained fangs showing. The blood smeared across his face added to the predatory effect but I couldn't bring myself to be scared, instead all I could muster up was a stroke of possessiveness for this magnificent creature.

I brought my hand up to where he was staring, wincing at the slight pain. There was some blood on my hand when I brought it back. I quickly sucked the blood off my fingers, not thinking about what I was doing until I heard a deep growl. Damon was watching me, his whole body on edge as I sucked a digit into my mouth.

I let out a teasing moan as I rolled my tongue over my finger. He was hard again already, watching my every movement. I licked up the next finger, my eyes rolling into the back of my head as I sucked on it.

“Stop doing that.” He warned, his voice deep and dark. I used a finger to wipe away the bit of undried blood that was left from the bite mark, offering it to him. He took the finger into his mouth, moaning as he licked and sucked away the red liquid. He licked as much as he could from my hand before pulling me down onto the bed, beginning his work on my neck.

His cock hadn't even had time to soften before I could feel the drops of pre-come on my skin as he moaned into my neck. He rubbed against me, setting off sparks of arousal in my own groin. I pushed back against him, loving the feeling of his hardness against me.

Spots danced in my vision as blood rushed to lower parts of my body. Nausea fired in my stomach and I weakly pushed him off me, meeting no resistance. The effort of pushing him away made the dizziness much worse. I took deep breaths, willing myself to not pass out.

“You okay, Jer?” Damon's concerned voice sounded.

“I just feel a little weird, that's all.” I looked up at him to prove I was fine but I only succeeded in making myself feel even worse.

“I told you to stop.” He chastised me. “Are you feeling dizzy?” He asked, probably already knowing my answer. I managed a sort of whimper, not trusting myself to move or speak but he understood my desperation.

“Lie back, silly.” He whispered sweetly with an amused smile. “You need to rest.” I relaxed back into the pillow, allowing him to rearrange me until he was comfortable sat on the bed next to me.

“What you doing?” I asked in a quiet mumble. I had a reason to be suspicious, he was staring at me with hungry eyes and he seemed to be even more turned on than he was a few minutes ago.

“Nothing, you're going to need some of my blood if you don't want to feel like shit for the rest of the week.”

“Well, lets get it done.” I responded tiredly, my eyes threatening to close any second. Damon disappeared for a moment, his movement barely noticeable before settling down next to me. “What are you doing now?” I asked in irritation, the swimming in my eyes was making me sick and Damon was just taking his time.

“We are going to kill two birds with one stone, so so speak.” He answered with a smile, flashing a small metal object at me.

“Does one of these birds happen to be your insatiable libido?”

“Maybe.” He whispered in my ear. I just sighed at him, the man could be a pain sometimes. I looked at what he had left the room for, hoping it would give me some insight on what his plan was. Damon held it up, showing a small blade out of a razor in the bathroom.

“What do you plan on doing with that?” I asked defensively.

“You need blood, don't you? Why not have a little fun in the process.”

“Fun for you, don't you mean!” I pouted, understanding what he wanted me to do. I couldn't even claim I was too ill, the dizziness had stopped and so long as I didn't move too fast the walls stayed where they were supposed to be.

He lay down next to me so we were face-to-face. “Please Jer.” He whispered seductively, lovingly brushing his lips against mine. I shifted so I could easily reach his neck, kissing the sensitive area before nipping at the skin.

“Give it here, then.” I muttered, trying to sound put out by the idea when I was actually excited. I took the small blade from him, gently pressing the cool metal against the pale skin of his neck. Damon's eyes fell closed as he waited for the small cut, his head falling to the side, inviting me with complete trust.

I pushed the sharp edge until the blood welled on the surface, staining perfect flesh. I ran my tongue over the wound, tasting the sweet metallic liquid. Damon moaned loudly, pressing himself against me. I could feel his hard member resting on my stomach and I gently pressed my hand over his mouth so no one would hear us.

I licked and sucked at the cut, preventing it from healing. Damon was writhing against me, his whimpers and moans muffled by my hand. His arms were around me, pulling me closer as he rolled his hips against me, ignorant to everything around him as his release got closer.

Every drop of blood I took made me feel stronger, my cock filled out as I became affected by Damon's touch. I bit down harder onto his neck, spurred on by the way he cried out and arched into me. I turned us over, pinning the vampire beneath me, my whole body felt on fire as our members rubbed against each other.

I bit down on Damon's neck, quickly sucking away the blood and causing him moan loudly and press himself harder against me. I used a hand to pump his slick member as I pulled him into a deep kiss, letting him taste himself. A broken moan warned me just before his orgasm ripped through him, coating our chests with his white seed.

I came seconds later, the building fire exploding with passion and weakening my whole body. I sagged against him, the dizziness was gone but my body felt like jelly, refusing to cooperate when I thought about moving.

“It's 6:30.” Damon mumbled, making to get up.

“So?” I asked, pulling him closer so he couldn't escape.

“So I have a very important meeting with the Founder's Council at 8 and I can't miss it.”

“You've got loads of time.”

“Not if I want a shower.” He sighed.

“You look fine.” I muttered, not opening my eyes.

“Jer, we're covered in blood. I don't think it's a nice look for an anti-vampire group.” I just grumbled as he pushed me off him, unable to think of a good excuse for him to stay. He jumped up and I watched as his naked for retreated to the bathroom. “Care to join me?” I heard him ask from behind the door as he turned on the spray of water.

I jumped up with a smile, enjoying the idea immensely. I walked into the plain room with cream walls, half covered with tiles. I didn't pay it any attention, my eyes were glued to Damon. For once I wasn't admiring him, only staring in shock. He was at the mirror, looking at himself in the mirror with blood on his mouth and neck.

“Did I do that?” I asked, looking at the spot where I had made the cut. It was completely healed, only the blood caked over the area gave us away. I walked over so I could see myself properly and I was a similar story, blood on my mouth and where Damon had bitten me yet fully healed. “Could you have made more mess?” I sighed as I noticed the bit of blood that had found it's way into my hair. “We look like we went to a satanic ritual that turned into a blood orgy.”

“We look like we had fun.” He countered.

“We did have fun. The mess afterwards on the other hand . . .” I trailed off, pulling a disgusted face. He just chuckled, jumping into the shower and adjusting the temperature.

“Come on in, the water is fine.” He invited as he reached for a cloth. I stepped in, for the first time grateful that the shower was big enough for two. He washed me first, lathering my body with soap and removing all traces of our activities. His hands travelled over my body, lingering over certain areas as he cleaned me.

I did the same for him, making sure to clear every crevice in his body before kissing his lips gently. Once my hair was washed I stepped out, grabbing a towel, to let him finish up. I was dressed by the time Damon walked in, drying his hair with a towel.

“My clothes are a mess.” He complained as he pulled them back on.

“You're gonna have to stay here, then. It can't be that important”

“Aww, is Jeremy jealous?” He teased me in a stupid, babyish voice, ruffling my hair. “I would skip it but this is really important and I'm sure I can run over to my house and change if I go now.” He decided as he looked over to the clock.

“Bye, then.” I muttered, waiting for him to gracefully jump out of the window. Instead he walked over to me, pulling me into a slow, breathtaking kiss.

“Take it easy tonight, we kinda overdid it.” He chuckled. “Will you come over tomorrow?”

“Of course, tomorrow night?” I whispered, stealing another kiss from him.

“See you then.” He whispered alluringly, kissing me one last time before disappearing out of the window with a smug grin on his face.

I glanced out the window, knowing he was already long gone. How could I have thought I couldn't trust him? I would do anything for him. For the first time I could see myself truly being with Damon, he regretted what he did, he cared for me, maybe more. He was beautiful and kind and loving and maybe a little bit clingy and maybe, just maybe, I was starting to fall for the man.

\-----

The sun was already peeping through my curtains by the time I woke up the next morning. I really had been tired once Damon had gone and spent some time lounging on the couch with a miserable Jenna before going to bed at quite a reasonable time for me.

I knew I should have been in school but I could tell by the sparkling sunlight and my unwillingness to get out of bed that I wasn't going to make it. Even if I rushed and somehow managed to get a lift from Elena I might just have to commit suicide because of her and Stefan's awkward glances and inability to hold a conversation.

I decided I needed to see Bonnie, I would probably learn more there than at school anyway. It would be easier if I didn't ring up, she was always in and ringing her would give her a chance to lock the door or set some an evil witch voodoo trap.

By the time I was dressed and clean, even Jenna had left the house so I was safe to head out without getting caught. It was a nice sunny day out, disguising the fact that the air held a frosty bite that froze your nose and fingertips.

It was only a quick walk to Bonnie's house and soon I could see the deep blue door and white bench that I had spend hours sitting on with her in the past. I hopped up the steps to the door, not hesitating to push it open.

“Bonnie?” I shouted as I walked in, deeming it cruel to not give her any warning at all. I walked into the kitchen like I had done too many a time before, switching on the kettle before strolling into the ex-bedroom at the back of the house. It was now more of a library and I was well prepared for the (what Bonnie called) 'organised' mess that was strewn across the room.

I walked straight over to the table at the back of the room where she was working, piles of books and papers almost hiding her lithe form from view.

“Tea or coffee.” I asked as I stopped behind her, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear as I skimmed over the lasted book she was taking notes from. I couldn't understand a word of it. I didn't even recognise the language, Bonnie had definitely been busy since my last visit.

She quickly swatted away my hand. “You're freezing!” She exclaimed, jumping back a bit. I just chuckled lightly as she rearranged the papers that had fluttered away as she moved.

“Hot chocolate, then?” I asked, a bemused smile creeping onto my face.

“Sounds great.” She agreed, not commenting on my unscheduled appearance.

I quickly left the room to prepare the drinks. She must've missed my visits, I had never had such a warm welcome. Once they were done I carried them back into the busy room, handing the first mug to the witch. We both moved to settle on an empty patch of floor, getting comfortable on the soft carpet.

“What's up, Jer?” Bonnie asked almost immediately after we settled down.

“What do you mean?” I asked in confusion. If anything I was feeling brilliant and it probably showed seeing as Bonnie always swore she could read me like a book.

“You didn't just randomly decide to come over for the first time in about a month because you were wondering how I was. There's something different about you.” She said with a questioning frown.

I took a sip from my cup to give myself a minute to think. “I've been doing good, that's all. I just thought you might want some company.”

“For once I'm not complaining, I could do with a break.”

“You need one, you shouldn't keep yourself locked away here.” I said with concern, taking her hand in mine. Bonnie's eyes immediately became distant and I pulled away from her quickly. “Don't do that!” I said a bit too loudly.

“I-Sorry, couldn't help myself.” She muttered sheepishly.

“What did you see?”

“Nothing, just happiness.” She smiled. “And a person, they make you happy.” She said with a blush. “Urr, who is it?”

“I don't know what you're talking about, maybe I haven't met them yet.” I ranted. “How's the research going?” I asked suddenly to change the subject.

“It's a lot harder than I thought, they're in so many different languages from different times that it's hard to follow. Some of the stuff you can do, though, it's amazing. Each witch learnt a unique ability and I have access to all of them.” She smiled as she brought a closed hand out in front of her. When she opened it a small object flew across the room to settle in her hand.

When she held it up I saw a small bracelet, almost exactly like the vervain one Elena had once given to me. “Many witches were inventors like Emily. It seems that Jonas collected them, too. Some don't work any more but this one is a channelling bracelet, it must've come from Mystic Falls at some point since it's just an enchanted vervain bracelet from around here.

“It helps witches to expand their powers by creating powerful links between two witches or with energy in the elements around us. This one is supposed to allow normal people to channel elements, too. The power is really weak but kinda cool.” Bonnie explained as she handed it to me. “You should give it a try.”

I took the thin, silver chain from her and carefully clipped it round my wrist. I put next to my vervain bracelet, noticing they were almost exactly the same.

“Right, let's start with the basics.” She said, holding out a small white feather. “Make it float.”

“Easy, Right?” I said with confidence and concentrated on the feather. It didn't move and I concentrated harder with still nothing happening, I pulled a face at the object, blaming it's non-cooperation for my failure. “How do I do it?” I asked in defeat.

“Just think about the energy around you.” She whispered, closing her eyes. I copied her, trying to feel for the elusive power that I was supposed to channel through the bracelet. “Try to touch it.” She whispered. I relaxed my mind, pushing my senses around me until I felt the crackling power that was settled in the air around me.

I thought hard about concentrating the power into one area, it gaining energy as it became more concentrated. Sweat was forming on my forehead as I concentrated harder on guiding the wild magic. Suddenly, it broke free and I could feel it firing away from me like an invisible explosion.

I opened my eyes in shock to witness the destruction from my mess up. Paper was scattering everywhere, flying through the room almost like it was intent on causing the maximum amount of carnage. I was laughing once the documents had finally settled, echoed by Bonnie's chiming giggles.

“I think I did a bit too much.” I managed after I calmed down a bit, giggles still threatening to escape.

“It's my fault, I just didn't expect you to grasp it the first time. According to the grimoires it took others months to perfect.” She said as she surveyed the damage. “We should clean this up.” She muttered with a frown.

“Sorry.” I added as I looked around the room. You could no longer see the floor, instead a sea of white and black covered the area, even a few pieces had landed on me.

“Don't worry, I was thinking about putting them all into some kind of order, anyway. You just made up my mind.” I smiled at her comment as we began to collect the scattered papers, simply piling them on her desk.

“Here you can have it back, I don't want any more accidents.” I chuckled, unclasping the bracelet from my wrist and passing it to her.

“Thanks,” she said, putting it back in the drawer I suspected it came from. “Will you accompany me to the living room.” She smiled, holding out her hand.

“I shall.” I managed without laughing, taking her hand.

Once we reached the relatively tidy room Bonnie decided it was 20 questions time and I had no choice but to answer.

“So who is it?” She asked to moment I sat down.

“I told you,” I said defensively. “I don't know!”

“Please Jer, I thought we were close. I know you know who it is. I got a feeling that it was soon, really soon, like now-soon.”

I frowned at her, hating the woman for being so nosey but knowing she wouldn't let it drop. I really did want to tell her, it would be an awful lot easier to explain it to another person but Bonnie hated Damon and I knew she wouldn't see a good side to it.

“Well-I..we. It's complicated.”

“That's what everyone says.” Bonnie complained.

“Well this really is complicated. It's not even really a relationship, it's more of a mutual understanding, mutual benefit kinda thing.”

“Doesn't sound so complicated to me.” She prodded. “Who is she?”

“Well, that's the problem. It's a guy. Bonnie, I think I'm gay.” I finally got out. She didn't say anything for a minute before shifting slightly and continuing.

“Well, it's understandable.” She said finally.

“What do you mean 'understandable'?” I asked in shock.

“Well, with the way you acted around Tyler for a short while, I thought maybe. . . Well, you know. I thought it could've been a possibility.” She answered meekly.

“I swear, it was never, ever like that with Ty.” I promised.

“Can you tell me who it is?”

“No, nope, never. You are not getting a word out of me you mischievous witch.” I said, closing the conversation.

“It's not Matt it is?” She asked in feigned shock.

“No! Elena dated him!” I shuddered.

“Stefan, then?”

“No, you insane woman.” I said, holding back laughter. I was glad she didn't guess Damon, I didn't think I could lie well enough.

“I'm going to take that as a compliment.” She decided.

“Fine.”

“Fine.” She copied me. I sighed, giving into her stubbornness. “You busy later?” She asked.

“Well, not really, Why?”

“I'm going to buy you a congratulatory dinner, you up for it?”

“Sounds good.” I agreed. “Only because it gets you out the house, though.” I joked.

“Perfect.” She sighed, “But first, I need to employ the help of a young, kind man to help me organise my life's work.”

“Why would I do that?” I teased.

“Because I can tell Elena you have a gay lover.” She threatened me playfully.

“I promise to do this one thing if you never ever use that as a form of blackmail ever again. Deal?”

“Deal.”

\-----

It had taken hours of hard work to organise the room and I had definitely worked up an appetite. Bonnie was just getting ready and I was left to amuse myself while I waited. I was glad Bonnie had been so accepting, it gave me hope that maybe this could actually work.

My mind quickly jumped to Damon and I remembered that I had promised to go over to his later on. I pulled out my phone, I could still go over there but probably later than planned. I sent him a quick message.

'Going out with Bonnie, be there later.'

I was just sending it as Bonnie walked into the room, looking much nicer after a shower and wardrobe change.

“You texting your boyfriend” She teased mercilessly.

“Firstly, he is not my boyfriend and secondly, yes, I am.” I replied. “Are you ever going to get over it?”

“I'll stop once it stops being weird.”

“Willing ever stop being weird?”

“Probably not.” She decided.

“Brilliant, let's go. I don't know about you but I am starving.” I complained as we set off out the door.

\-----

The Grill was quite full once we got there, people playing pool, drinking or having an evening meal. We found an empty booth and quickly sat down in it. After ordering our food, we started talking again. This time about what Bonnie had been doing and interesting things she had found out in her research, luckily staying away from anything to do with me.

It really was interesting, many witches also kept a diary, recording their misadventures. They dated back hundreds of years and from every country I had heard of, some I hadn't. Once we had finished the meal I couldn't resist a quick game of pool. Bonnie always made me feel good at it seeing as she could never even manage to hit the white ball with the cue.

“But I suck at this.” She complained as I set up the table. “You know you’re going to win.”

“Maybe you got better.” I supplied.

“I haven't.” She grumbled.

“It's the only thing I'm better at than you.”

“I can't argue with that.” She boasted.

“Look, just do it like this.” I demonstrated, hitting the ball for the break. The white ball suddenly changed it's course, rolling into the pocket at the side.

“Looks like you're not so good after all.” She said overconfidently. I just nudged her as I went to retrieve the ball, two could play at that game.

I started again, quickly jabbing Bonnie in the arm just after hitting the ball and breaking her concentration so she couldn't move it. I putted two balls quickly, earning an annoyed glare from the witch.

“What was that for?” She asked, animatedly rubbing her arm.

“You are not the only one that's allowed to play dirty.” I announced. She promptly tugged the cue away from me, intent on winning. She had quickly got three more balls into the hole before I could stop her. I jumped up behind the witch, tickling her sides as she tried to hit another ball and making her miss.

This carried on throughout the game until Bonnie had won and we were both crippled with laughter. I calmed down first, standing up from the table I was using to support myself and looking around the bar to see if anyone was looking at us.

I ducked down again quickly as I saw Stefan and Elena come in through the doors, luckily not looking my way. I crawled over to Bonnie, coming up with a simple plan to avoid them.

“Bonnie!” I whispered next to her.

“What are you doing down there?” She asked in confusion.

“I really don't want Stefan and Elena seeing us here, they might get the wrong idea.”

“Let them.” She said simply. “Wouldn't it be easier than explaining why you disappear to another man's house in the middle of the night.”

“What if he had a sister?”

“Does he have a sister?”

“No. . .”

“Then we go along with my plan.” She decided. “First step is to give me my prize for winning.”

“You cheated.”

“Just kiss me, idiot.” We quickly stood, making it look like we had been there the whole time and I quickly pecked her on the cheek as soon as I knew at least one of them was watching, my cheeks going bright red at the act.

“Right, now we casually walk out.” Bonnie said, gently pulling me by the hand. I let her lead me until we were back in her car.

“So you're going to cover for me?”

“Only if you answer a question each time I lie for you.”

“Seems like a good deal.” I agreed.

“Is he older than you?”

“That's not fair, you've asked loads today!” I accused.

“Just one more? Please?” She begged.

“Fine, he's older. Who does that rule out?”

“Just about everyone in your year and below.” She said, making a show of mouthing a list of men it could be, counting them on her fingers. I sighed, hoping that she would stick to the reasonable choices, if she did that she would never get it right.

I felt my phone go off, alerting me of a text and pulled it out of my pocket.

“Is it him?” She asked in excitement.

“How am I supposed to know if I haven't read it?” I asked angling the screen so it would be impossible for her to read it.

'You still coming over?'

That was all it said and I sent him a quick reply of 'I'll be there soon'.

“Do you want me to drop you off anywhere?” She asked.

“No, it's not too far to walk from here.” I answered. “Thanks for taking me out for dinner.”

“Don't worry about it and tell lover boy I said hi.”

“Sure, bye.” I chuckled, getting out of the warm car. It was dark by now, the street lights illuminating the path as I walked away from the car in the direction of the Salvatore house.


End file.
